This is quite the clusterfuck of a twitlonger.

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So, by now, you've seen the leaks. The leaks from the Kojimative Experience group. Yeah, those leaks. Well, things have been cracked open, and here, i'll apologize for the stuff that i've done, and give some background on certain things that happened. Keep in mind, this twitlonger is kinda scatterbrained, but there is a TL;DR at the bottom, and a timeline of events. So... let's begin.

So, I came into the group at around mid June 2015, near the tail end of Ren's time in the SoK. I had no involvement in the drama involved with Renegade at this time, it was all fresh. And, being the new guy, I didn't have much of an opinion on the matter, and went along with it. You'll see this being a recurring thing.

When the TCP was made, I was one of the more active members in the group at the time. Fred invited me, Che, Fizz, Nomad, Alice (Who would often question Fred in that group), and Kama, to the secret group known as "The Kojimative Exprience". Fred was very paranoid, how TCP was taking members (Lester, Miles, Cyber, Moogle went in there for a while) and were trying to gain momentum and take down the SoK. Sounds ridiculous now, considering the TCP's... sub-optimal following, but he truly believed they were gonna be our downfall.

That group lasted for a while, and plenty more things were said in that group, that you haven't seen. Other than Nomad, I was the least talkative person in that group. I mostly went along with what was said, since I never had much to add. In the leaks, you'll see me agreeing with what's being said, and I confirm that's all that really happened. But it still doesn't make up for the fact that I was an accomplice in shit talking so many people, that I currently deem as friends. Near the end of the Twitlonger, i'll make a list of people I want to apologize to, and why i'm apologizing.

So, a little bit of history. Back in December 2014 - January 2015, I did a charity stream of streaming Spyro 1, 2, and 3. During the Spyro 3 stream, I met Alice, who I had on the stream, because she offered to come on. I thought she was cool, so I tried talking to her more (this was before I joined the SoK, so I didn't have many people to talk DSP to). We talked a bit, and I eventually invited her to a group of mine with some old friends (Friends who aren't involved with DSP, so i'm not naming names). She was a good fit, and we had fun times. She even stood up for me when people in that group (who were less than stable Tumblrinas) questioned me liking anti DSP stuff. Soon after, we both joined the SoK. Later on, in January 2016, we fell out of contact, and I deeply regret how things went. I never had the chance to actually talk to her again, because she went on a long leave, and then found out her leukemia relapsed.

On March 28th, 2016, Che and Alice came back, and Fred and Che went into a very long argument, that many people from the group were there for. It ended, with a lot of us who were there, talking in another group, and voting to kick out Che. Loophole was very aggressive about getting him out. A lot of people agreed, and Fred specifically wanted an "Amicable Split". So, we talked it over with Che, and he left the next day. Alice quickly followed.

There were many other times when anyone, and everyone, who went against us, were shit talked a whole fucking bunch. Everyone who has ever interacted with the SoK, including people from the stream chat, have been shit talked. Mostly unfairly, and for being a part of it all, I apologize.

Fast forward to the 98th podcast, we're talking about ending the show. Fred was heavily burnt out, and was in an incredibly sour mood. During our first 24 hour stream (which was not recorded at that point in time) I made a bet with Fred to stay up for the entire stream. If I failed, I had to delete my Binding of Isaac saves, and if I won, Fred had to play Bloodborne. I won, and during Let's Endure: Bloodborne, I called him out on it. So, we made a new bet. He would play Bloodborne (didn't specify how long, tried to pussy out by saying he was gonna take a few steps and fuck off) if I 100%ed I Wanna Be The Guy. I did 100% the game in the time allotted, and Fred played Bloodborne. During him playing Bloodborne, several people were poking fun at him (doing similar stuff that he would usually do) and he completely lost it. Told people off, told them they did nothing for the group, and how he lost respect for the people in the call. Easily the maddest I've seen Fred.

Fast forward to the 100th, and you'll probably know that Sammy pussied out of being in a debate with Jim. I made a mistake and said "Oops, I think I accidentally kicked him out". Which I did not, and I will defend that til the end of time. But, what you don't know, is that a day later, while playing Overwatch, he made me out to be the devil, and the reason the 100th failed. He later apologized for going full on aggressiveness earlier, and I apologized for what happened. One thing I will say: That man does not forgive, and he does not forget. Ever since that event, there has been a certain amount of passive aggression towards me, that wasn't present in any other interaction, other than Pasc4l.

Over the next few months, the group goes in and out of shit talking different groups (GSoK, Freedom Chat, TCP, the Data Miners podcast... but seriously, fuck that last group of people) and trying to lay low from people speaking out (Che, 8chan, KiwiFarms, etc.) and it has continued ever since.

I ended up being inactive for the past few weeks in the group, because I have personal business that absolutely requires my attention. For those that don't know, my grandfather, currently has terminal brain cancer, and my family has been preparing for the worst, but also cherishing the time we can still spend with him. Along with this, I'm currently busy with other typical stuff, to the point I didn't have much time to be in calls. So, for that reason, and not anything to do with any drama, I left the SoK as of yesterday. I didn't want to bloat the numbers, and I didn't want to leave on bad terms with people.

So, now, there's people I specifically want to apologize to.

Miles - You were the guy that got me into the SoK, and because of that, I can't thank you enough for this oppurtunity. Since you left the group, there have been many jokes at your expense, such as "Come on guys, NO CHEESE", and "Hey, guys, I have a girlfriend" to name a few. I wanted to not only apologize for those, but also because anything that I said or did, that made you feel like I was becoming less of a friend. That wasn't my intention.

Renegade - I never really talked to you, only heard the stories. I just want to apologize for not forming my own opinion on you, and letting the memes become who you were to me.

Alice - I know you're reading this Che, and I have major confessions to own up to. During my time in the SoK, while Alice was gone, but before (or during, can't remember) she told everyone in the Kojimative Experience her Leukemia relapsed, I was with Fred, in believing it was faked. There was always a small part of me that thought this wasn't true, given the conversations we had, but I definitely didn't want to have a different opinion with Fred at this time. So, months pass, and then I learn that she passed away. Probably the most disgusting thing i've ever done, but I followed Fred into thinking that this was faked, until the obituary came out. From there, Fred was able to find her facebook, and I found it myself as well. The fact that a person who I fell out of contact with, on relatively not good terms no less, was dead, actually hit me a bit. That podcast where we mention her passing (You know... the one where Fred was "late"), I firmly believe I was the one with the most heartfelt send off. It might not have been much, but it was something. I deeply regret everything I did here, and hope to move on from this particular part, as a learning experience.

GSoK in general - There were many autism jokes made at your expense, from behind the group's back, before it was all made clear to you. I felt guilty for being a part of it, since I have always disliked things being said behind people's backs. (I know, I know. Hypocrite. I can hear you screaming this from a mile away.) One time, right before we went live, everyone was making jokes about how CaseTech kept messaging Fred, after he kept doing his whole "Ignore the problem" schtick, and I just felt bad for being there. And I feel bad that you guys were dicked around so much by Fred. SoK members all joining at the same time, after Fred just makes nothing of it, was absolutely intentional. Anything else that was done wrong by you guys, I'll try to remember at a later time. If anyone has questions, DM me.

Tevin - The whole making money off of Phil content, no matter how much, still went against everything we stood for. But, the jokes made went too far, the doxxing (Which was before my time btw) is really fucked up, and the paranoia Fred had was something I've never seen in any other human being. Sorry for sitting on the sidelines and letting it happen, dood. We've never talked, and I was never able to form an actual opinion of you.

Freedom Chat - You guys seemed alright tbh. It definitely wasn't as "Anti SoK" as Fred made it out to be. I don't like you cut off my TIHYDP Crash 3, but that's beside the point.

Moogle - I was there during the times we shat on you for joining the TCP, and I completely understand if you don't wanna associate with me. I always viewed you as a pretty down to earth guy that just liked talking to friends and playing games. Not only that, but for the times i've mocked your mannerisms and sayings (Jokingly, but still) such as "Hey! Hey! Hey! FUCK YOU!" and "Fazzy, go eat a chode", to the Overwatch things, such as "That's an interesting teleporter placement", and many others, I'd like to apologize for. You're a cool guy. No pun intended.

As for people wondering "Why don't Fizz, Prideful, AJ, or Schad say something?" I can honestly tell you they're good people, and should still be treated as such. No matter what they did in the past, I still hold these guys in very high regards, and they all have lives to deal with. Give them some space, and maybe they'll say something eventually. Not speaking on behalf for any of them, so don't quote me. Just my thoughts on that.

Anyone else I forgot to mention, let me know, and i'll try to list down my faults with them, and try to make ammends.

TL;DR: I've left the SoK, not because of drama, but because of life itself. However, i've done some fucked up shit in the past, and today, I finally try to admit the faults, and come clean. No one is perfect, but I hope that we all learn from this one day. Feel free to DM me if you have questions.

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