Post TI7 - secret update
Hey everyone I've got an announcement to make and I want to clear some things up. I'll try to keep this one abit shorter than the previous ones. I'll be talking about a few things but some more intensely than the others.
⁃ Our preparation for TI
⁃ The general feeling I had leading up to TI
⁃ Rough start into the groupstage but keypoints as to why we improved alot during the tournament
⁃ The loss to Liquid and it's aftermath
⁃ Recieving the message that there's a possibility of me being replaced( I'll go into reasoning also )
⁃ Following days
⁃ People are very vulnerable during TI
⁃ Team Secret
⁃ Whats next
Our prep for TI went as following. Due to being on the road for a very long time up untill the TI qualis, we took a break right after we finished the qualifier so people could go back home to their families and get some time off. We met again just before Dreamleague so it was pretty much practice for us and finding our groove again. Sadly the break was quite long and it showed at Dreamleague. Anyhow we were rusty and headed to San Jose right after the tournament. Nvidia setup a very awesome bootcamp at their headquarters over there. They took great care of us and all in all it was very good. During the bootcamp we realized some things and talked alot about some issues we had. Mainly movement related between MP and I. Amongst other things such as the dota map layout, radiant compared to Dire, how to rate which towers and creepcamps. Our scrims in the start were awful but we started progressing throughout the bootcamp.
We slowly make our way towards TI and most of us feel fairly ok about ourselves, atleast Ibelieve so.
My personal feeling was that I started to feel alot more comfortable, confident and good. Ontop of that we were getting back on track as a team.
I'll speed up the next 2 topics so I can get to the main point of this blog faster.
We had some shit losses in the groupstage but we watched the replays and talked to each other about our flaws and what we should be doing instead and what things to prioritize.
Finally i got to play on the TI stage again as we faceup against Execration, we ultimately come out ontop and take the win in the bo1 of the first lower bracket round. I felt very relieved and happy that we won that match, simply due to bo1 and getting a step closer to the next rounds. The feeling you get walking out on that stage and playing on it is just soo unique and awesome go me, I love it.
Liquids our next opponent, we prepare for them yadayada. We play vs them. We play a very convincing game one and take the lead in the series. All of us are feeling it right now, we're in the zone, ready to win. Game two comes up, they lastpick Alchemist. I believe we thouht we have the heroes to deal with it so we didnt ban it. Anyhow game is a disaster and super hard to play, leading into a 30-35 minute loss if i recall correctly.
I didnt rush blink on Bat that game due to Oracle and Veno and whatnot. I like to go Euls into Force into Dagger vs atleast oracle. Doing the itembuild in this order iw way more effective than going the usual dagger first. As this order with euls first allows you to farm and be an ass way earlier in the game, and later when you get your dagger it feels really strong as you already have force and euls and can properly deal with the Oracle. And before you get blink you have alot of usage for those items (Euls and Force) f.ex euls the oracle or have more setup and so on.
Game three starts and we have a good start but we end up losing it. Obviously all of us are very sad and dissapointed after this loss.
Most importantly the real deal starts now.
⁃ One day after our loss to Liquid, right before the signing session, Clement (PPY) talked to Yapzor and me saying he had talked to MP and that they pretty much both had the same thing in my mind and that that was done. He also mentioned he had conversations with other people later that night. And he would be lying if he said that he didnt talk/look at other offlaners. So im like alright, after the signin sess. I poke the topic again to get more info. Supposedly only two people would be the option to replace me as those two are the only ones they would prefer over me. I feel really sad, stunned and overall like damn....why. Just overall sad.
Later in the evening I msg him saying I wanna talk as there are some things I want to have said before they makeup their mind.
We meet and I tell him that, I know I'm not Universe, or S4, Icex3, Mind Control and whatnot, but I fully believe in myself, and I know that I can become as good if not better one day, as the players they are looking at to replace me with. Also I said that I dont think we're missing much. Turns out we barely lost to the team that won TI. I was under the impression that we were so close to doing it, which is what makes me the most sad, out of all reasons. I truly believe we coulda stuck through this. And overall I just went on to speak my mind about how I feel and why I personally believe im valuable and what my assets are. I had alot of good reads on Heroes and Items. For example I spammed offlane Enigma n Puck before it got meta, I called Necrobook and the mom armlet build on Lycan before Kiev and I said Furion is super strong before the TI qualifiers. And all in all I know ive improved over the past few months. We continue the talk and I start to feel pretty clear about being kicked. Even if those two decline, I got the vibes that I'll be replaced anyway, but we'll get into that later. He said he thinks I need another year to be the player that you win every tournament with, which sure is fair, he's looking at other options cause they want to win every tournament and start winning, now. He thinks I've showed progress the whole time but, that he feels it's needed to do this as they dont want to lose anymore. And the replacement might be a better fit than me cuz he has more experience and is overall a good player. Dota is business afterall, and I fully respect their decision.
These following days are awful lol. I was very close with Clement my whole time in the Team, same with Yazied and my manager, Matt. So I just feel very hurt and sad (humam emotions) I feel like I'm not part of the team anymore, I feel uneasy around them, I feel like people are avoiding me. Mind you TI was still going on for another few days. Im just there waiting for an answer which I kindoff know already anyway.
Days go by, I'm informed that these two players declined bcuz they have something else planned, but even then I dont feel any good about it. I could sense that this didnt mean im still in the team, even if it was said that only those two would be the better option compared to me. And even if I were to stay theres two things. 1) use it as an oportunity to prove myself and show them, or 2) feel awful and constantly feel pressured cuz you know you're what, 5th choice for a team and they wanted to get rid off you already anyway.
At the end, I hear about a 3rd player they are looking at, and all in all I get it confirmed before my flight that I've been replaced. I feel very sad but Ive also got some fire, drive and more motivation from this so it's not all bad.
Theres a few more things I have to get into.
⁃ Puppey was a great captain to me. We barely had any disagreements/arguements, I can count the amount of times in one hand, and thats in the timespan of what, 9 months? He helped me grow as a player and he is not at all what many people think he is. Noone was ever in a fight with him nor did he smash a headset into a monitor xd and everything was handled appropriately. You can talk to him about strategy and give him your ideas and he will value them. It can maybe just be hard to convince him into something if he believes the opposite, but take that as you will, there's pro's and con's to that. I very much enjoyed my time in Team Secret and im thankful for having had the opportunity to play with them and improve myself.
⁃ Everyone who is a part of Team Secret this is for you. Especially Cyborgmatt. Best manager I've had and all in all just an amazing person. He does everything and beyond of what he can do for you. Thank you Bailey, you're the best.
⁃ Thank you Sunbhie who's been coaching us since the Summit and keeping us ontrack and helping me out individually.
⁃ John, George & Elvan, thank you.
I will miss the team and you guys, alot.
Theres alot more id like to say but I think I touched on the most important subjects the best I could.
Ending words here we go.
Thank you everyone, I do not know what the future holds, but, I can say that I'm so ready. Ive always been motivated but Ive just recieved a kick in the ass, and I'm channeling all the negatives from this situation into positives. And it's just fueling me with energy and good thoughts about Dota. I want to be the best, I want to be the player that everyone wants in their team, I will be among the top and I'll try harder than ever before. I'm ready for the next step. Sometimes you just need a little something to push you further and maybe this is it. Luckily, Team Secret is seemingly the academy for success. If I look at the people that have been kicked from Secret in the past, atleast nearly all of them went on to be very succesful and even greater players thanbefore. Lets hope that this benefits all parties involved.
Excuse my typos and grammar. I will publish this when I land, which means I hope I won't offend anyone and that I havent said anything majorly wrong, I'm human and all I'm trying to do here is speak my mind and give you a closer point of view into this situation.
I hope you had a good read. Theres alot of changes all over, half arent even confirmed. Maybe even a comeback here or there and old roles, PogChamp. Also I'll be back to streaming very soon.