Maikel Bill · @maikelele

11th May 2017 from TwitLonger


I decided to write some things so my shoulders don't have to carrie to much weight anymore.
I don't know if you have realized that I have always been super quite after getting the boot or leaving a former team but that's something I decided to do, so that I doesn't create any troubles with my personal sight of it. This is something that have damages my reputation very very much and that's my own fault.
Everyday when I'm on reddit, hltvorg or just my own twitter I'm reading things about myself which I can't understand since there is very few people that knows me personally. I don't think you guys reading this knows how much pain I've been in in the last months. I've read about my family doesn't like me anymore, that I'm a very bad human being etc. This is something that have affected other players aswell in this scene. Just flusha f.e. I might have played with him for one mix game 5 years ago and how can he know if I'm a person that's not good to have in a team? It's just what he've been reading on the internet or something.

I know people will ofc have an answer of all this since it's the internet community but I just want to share my own word instead of people saying and writing shit about me.
I've contacted some of my former teammates and I just wanted to ask them if I'm really a bad teammate and guess what the answer was? "No you're not."

I've had so much unluck in my career and that's something that everyone knows. From joining NiP and getting good placements at tournaments, to create the first international super team and leaving, to playing with what you call T783 teams and players. But lets face it, the people that have created this unluck is you guys, people that I know would answer "yes" if I asked them to play with me, people that 100% would ask for a signature or picture if they met me somewhere. I've never been that guy to read and listen to comments about myself but lately since everything have been going downhill I've started to do it and I don't know why.
My family are reading the comments you guys are writing about me and I can't say it really affect them since they know me but I feel that they're reading it and it shouldn't be like that, maybe it's their fault I don't know but it really really hurts me to get questions about what the internet says on me in a family dinner or something.

This text might not make sense at all to you but as I mentioned in the beginning I have to write this to just get the weight on my shoulders disappear. I've always been a very happy guy that spreads a lot of happy and good emotions around me but in a long time I've been the opposite. Old friends and colleagues are asking me why people are saying this and I don't have an answer.

I've been doing some small research of when NiP, Kinguin, G2, FaZe, NiP (2nd time) etc have said in a statement that I'm a toxic person that creates a bad atmosphere to play in but I can't find it. There might be something from a really long time ago when I still was a noob.

I know this text might create more turbulent about me on all the websites out there but if you're a human being and if you have a heart like me and any other person in the world. Please think about what you're writing and sharing about everything and anything. I'm sorry for letting a lot of my fans down with my career but in the end it's just life. We have ups and downs and right not I'm deep in the down-swing and still looking for the light to climb out of it.

I'm not that kind of person to give up and I will not give up.

I'm calling; @GeT_RiGhTcs - @OfficialXizt - @FaZe_raincs - @SKYTTENcs - @jkaemCSGO - and other ex-teammates.
To share their answer of me being a bad teammate, toxic or creating a bad atmosphere. Please be honest with your opinion.

Best Regards

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