Someone responded telling me that "I'm done for life" and that this wasn't a "wake up call". I just want to say that yes, I am done for life. I am quitting esports with no intention of returning (not that I could after this). This is still a wakeup call, regardless. I've destroyed too many things and hurt too many people in my life because of my personality. Whether it's just a character flaw or if I actually do have some sort of mental issue, I've waited too long to find out. I'm going to the doctor and I'm going to try to get help so I hopefully become be a better and happier person.