My current (and past) situation with Team expert
(WARNING: Long Story!)
A lot of people have been approaching me during the last weeks and it has also been asked many times by the community why Atheroangel has been playing with expert a few times instead of me. I'm here today to clear things up for you if you don't know already, but for that I have to go a few months back.
Everything basically started in November 2016 when we were still Two Bees Determined. Back then, we played the first HGC Qualifier bruising through the bracket undefeated and thus netting us a spot in the HGC. A personal dream came true after I've invested so much into Heroes for the past two years at that point. Everything was fine and dandy. We were an up and coming team with alot of potential that just qualified for the most awesome competetive experience the Heroes scene has ever seen securing our near future.
Moving on, we were obviously pretty hyped officialy being a professional team now. While most teams took a break after qualifying we still kept working hard up until Christmas eager to perform well in HGC, aiming for a top 3 spot. I myself was pretty positive about us being able to make that happen. We had the tools and we were ready. The only problem was that I was not.
Now I know this might sound a bit dramatic but let me explain: I think that we are one of the most hard working teams in Europe when it comes to raw scrim time. Whenever we are able to squeeze in an extra block we're taking the opportunity to practice. You can probably already guess where I'm coming from - a lot of practice doesn't equal efficient practice and this was especially true for me.
If you were to look at most of our scrimmages from November to mid-March then you would clearly see that I was the problem. I was, for the most part, the one holding us back, the one that didn't let my team practice as well as we could have. I was also the biggest reason why we did not make it to the Western Clash, which to be honest, we should have if I just performed a bit better in the serieses that counted (Dig, Fnactic, Misfits).
As I already said: I was not ready. Not ready for the highest level of competetive HotS-play. I did not have the right mind- nor skillset to meet the expectations of my team. I was stuck in a circle of denial. Even though my team was trying to help me out to their best of their abilities to push me into the right direction it felt like whenever I made a step forward, I made two steps back the day after. I let my team down. I failed to improve or only improved at a very slow pace.
Understandably, my team got fed up with me after a while. Rivers of salt and tilt were unleashed on a daily. Our overall team spirit when playing with me seemed torn apart, all trust and hope in me was lost which affected everyone's play in a bad way.
One day, we're now already closing in on part 2, I came to my PC to find out that my team wants to try out other players to potentially replace me after part 2 (roster rules only allow changes between two phases or under extreme circumstances).
As you can imagine, I was crushed at first even though I saw it coming for a while. Shortly after, however, it finally made me realise that this was the wake-up call I needed. It made me realise what's actually on the line for me. Not only would I be conceding my spot in a great team I was a major part of in building to someone else, but I'm also about to lose my financial security granted by Blizzard and the sponsorship from expert; all things I've worked so hard towards for such a long time.
Ever since I found out about the tryout situation, I swore myself for as long as I am still part of Team expert, that I will give my absolute best to meet the expectations and goals of my team to become the best team we can possibly be and to make the most out of part 2 even if that means that we have to beat everyone from place six to two to go to the Mid-Season Brawl. Over the past month, whenever I scrimmed or played with my team, I've learnt and improved more than I was able to over the past half a year. My attitude has changed dramatically and I now finally feel ready to be the best version of myself and to beat the best.
Even though my team has more or less settled on Atheroangel replacing me after part 2, I'm still hopeful that I can prove to them and that we can prove to the rest of Europe that Team expert is a hot contender for that second spot at the Mid-Season Brawl with me as a part of the roster.
Shoutout to adrd, Benny, Cursen and Nic. Let's give it our all to go to the Brawl. I'm ready, even if that is the last thing I do within Team expert.
If you managed to read until here,
Sebastian "bLaDe" Petraschke