Mark Haynes · @alvin_earthworm
20th Apr 2017 from TwitLonger
The future of SMBZ
A lot of people have been asking on a near daily basis about when the next episode of SMBZ will be coming out. And the answer to that is a whole hearted...
I don't know...
I am fully aware this isn't the answer that everyone has been wanting to hear. But that is the honest to god truth.In the back of my mind I still very much want to work on the series and FINALLY see it through to the bitter end. Yet at the same time, I still hold resentment towards a company who I have supported faithfully for decades for stabbing me in the back. Never mind the fact I spent many hours of my free time making a glorified commercial for them. As long as they're not getting a slice of the pie, I don't deserve any at all.
As for my radio silence to all of the inquiries coming my way. Why I have been "lying" to my fans and they want the truth. You really want the truth? Okay then.
At face value I'm the pioneer of sprite based crossover fanfics. My series inadvertently helped hundreds, maybe thousands of aspiring animators pursue their careers and go onto great things. But the cold reality is I'm an unemployed antisocial 32 year old virgin living at my mother's place on disability benefits. Suffering from chronic depression, autism and suicidal thoughts. Feel free to make fun and kick the dirt in my face while I'm down. I honestly don't care anymore. My reputation and credibility are in shambles anyway.
I honestly thought my life was turning around for the better when I started the reboot. I was happier than I had ever been in a long time. I had so much support on Patreon. I was going to the gym. I was eating healthily and lost a lot of weight. Then fucking Nintendo did their usual copyright bullshit. I'm not trying to demonize the company here, but seeing my Patreon closed down and my Youtube channel being fucked around with demoralized the fuck out of me.
I tried to rekindle that spark again by opening my new Patreon and receiving donations monthly. But the damage had been done. I slipped back into depression. I haven't been back to the gym since then and I put all that weight I had lost back on. Hell, I haven't even left the house for the past four months.
Video games have been my only escape. People noticed my positivity in my tweets when playing Breath of the Wild. But that was just a band aid on a bullet wound. It merely diverted my attention temporarily. Most days I can't find the energy to get out of bed. I also wish the "meme" pics I have been posting were an exaggeration. But they truly are how I feel inside. I need help and I'm not getting it.
The only thing that keeps me clinging to this wretched mortal plane is my mother who has been the best and most thoughtful person ever, as well as my online pal Jake who is the brother I had always wanted. I'd be totally lost without them.
So, yeah. I didn't exactly want to post this, but recent events have made it a necessity I guess. Although I am terrible at showing it, I truly do appreciate all the support I get from everyone. Fact is, SMBZ is the least of my priorities at this time. But rest assured, I have not forgotten about it.