Nyxie · @MissNyxie
10th Feb 2017 from TwitLonger
The Truth & How Jeff Saved My Life.
I wanted to write a quick message about something from this week that bothered me on a very personal level. Something I've never talked to anyone about before.
I always thought I grew up in a normal family with a normal childhood. I was an only child and very good friends with my mother. I considered her my best friend. We did everything together. I will never forget driving around in her VW Passat, listening to Heart and AC/DC with the sunroof open. But as I grew older I learned the dark truth about suicide and depression.
I went to college in 2006 thinking everything was normal. But I came home for Christmas break to find the house a mess and my mother passed out on the couch with bottles of anti depressants and anti anxiety medication next to her. This became a regular, yet disturbing sight every time I had a break from college classes.
I stayed home for spring break 2007. I woke up late one morning to an empty house. I assumed my mother was out running errands until I noticed a letter on the kitchen table that listed some online logins and passwords. No "I love you" or "I'll miss you". No "I'm sorry".
I immediately called my father and told him I was concerned. He left work and called my uncle once we realized my mother was missing. Eventually they found her at my maternal grandmother's house (that was empty and for sale) in the garage with all the doors sealed shut and the car on, attempting to kill herself via carbon monoxide poisoning.
That was the first time we put her in a mental institution against her will for attempted suicide. It was very far from the last. My mother was never the same after the "treatments" they administered in the hospitals. She will never be my "best friend" again. It changed her and the decisions she made. The way she treated me from then on are something I still cannot talk about to this day. It tore our family apart and I eventually feared my father would also attempt to take his own life.
I led a very destructive lifestyle after that. I worked two jobs while I was in school full time for my art degree, but I abused alcohol and prescription medication just to get by. I lived in my car until a family member took me in. I weighed 85lbs and ended up in the hospital, malnourished. I couldn't get the thought of suicide out of my head no matter what I did. I couldn't afford to see a counselor or psychologist to get the help I needed.
I graduated with straight A's but I still didn't care what happened to me. I couldn't live as an artist so I took whatever garbage retail job I got. I barely existed from day to day. I had already lost my will to live and eventually lost my will to even produce art. I went back to school for a paralegal degree but ultimately still had no plan or will to live.
I met Jeffrey in November 2015. He accompanied me to Blizzcon, something I never thought I'd get to see. We had a blast and really clicked. He always made sure I was happy and comfortable. We stayed in very close contact despite living across the country from each other. He always pushed me to focus on school and finish my degree. He made sure I had everything I needed to complete school.
He took the time to get to know my family and take care of them. He helped set up a gaming PC for my father and bought him a steering wheel and pedals up so my he could play racing games. We're working on a plan to help my dad retire and live near us. He bought my grandmother an iPad and laptop and spent hours with her setting them up, syncing her email and downloading the games she likes.
He gave me a reason to live and appreciate life. He gave me goals to strive for. I graduated top of my class and Jeff flew to PA just to be there for my award ceremony. I wake up every morning with a purpose and goals in mind, feeling loved and appreciated. I want to get married and have a family, something I never used to consider. Because of Jeff I have been able to receive help for my own anxiety and depression issues. I now have wonderful doctors and support systems. I've not considered committing suicide since Jeff & I met. He saved my life.
This is why it make me sick to my stomach when someone fabricates a suicide attempt for attention. Or fabricates a suicide attempt to get out of their responsibilities. Or fabricates a suicide attempt to try to attack someone else, or solicit pity from an entire online community.
I cannot sit in silence and watch my family be attacked. I cannot sit in silence and watch the person who saved me be attacked for things he didn't do. I cannot sit in silence while someone lies about suicide and depression for attention and pity, or to avoid the consequences of their own mistakes. I cannot sit in silence while someone flaunts depression and suicidal thoughts for pity donations on GoFundMe.
Because I cannot sit in silence regarding these issues I've decided to be honest and post evidence proving what happened on June 7, 2015. Here is an entire log of texts and bank statements from the day before, day of, and day after. These all have matching phone records, unlike many other screen shots that have been posted online recently: http://imgur.com/a/L9VOU
This screen shot of the texts and bank records prove that Jeff was out purchasing dinner, groceries and tea at the request of his ex on June 7, 2015. It was a normal day with no extraordinary events. No visits to a hospital, doctor, psychiatrist, counselor, etc. ever happened any time before, during or after this date.
Jeff's attorney sent very generous settlement terms, at Jeff's request, asking for a few things, amongst them a $1 token as repayment for the engagement ring, and an apology for the online attacks and libel/slander. Because of these attacks, Jeff & I received endless harassment and death threats. Someone said they were outside our house with a gun to shoot us. Someone said they were going to kill our first born child. Someone else told me to get cancer. We are constantly receiving emails and text messages from people trying to get in to our email accounts, social media accounts, cellphone accounts, etc. This is not normal and is a result of one person's negligence.
Make your own judgement. But make it based off of more than some fabricated nonsense on social media, or conversations that are edited or missing context. Open your eyes. Jeff isn't responding to the false allegations on social media because the adult decision is to leave it to a judge and jury in a court of law, where they can review all of our other evidence, and not just this small fraction of it.