Parker Sockderg Probe (Lupi) · @aWildLupiDragon
8th Sep 2016 from TwitLonger
As the clock ticks down to T-0 on the #OSIRIS-REx launch, I sit here under the aft portion of Space Shuttle Atlantis thinking. Thinking about why I'm excited about this launch, why I'm eager to see launches, and why I find them bittersweet. Given the effort I've spent separating my online persona from most anything personally identifiable, I feel like it's high time I put those feelings to text.
My first trip to Florida was five years ago, July 2011. I don't know how long I had wanted this, but I dreamed and desired to see a space shuttle launch, so we found a way to make it work. My mom, siblings, and grandfather all stuffed into his 2000-or-so Ford Taurus and buckled in for an 8-or-so hour drive from Greenville to Orlando, where we'd be staying with family who used to work at Disney. It was going to be grand.
Fishermen have their tales of "The One that Got Away," and I guess this is mine, because this is where the good part ends. The day of the launch, my grandfather (whose car and driving we were reliant on) decided, for assorted reasons (such as paranoia about traffic) that he didn't want to drive the hour to Cocoa Beach or closer so we could see the launch, despite that being the entire point of our trip. He got blinded by the traffic concerns and whatever other minutia started building up, and the only thing my mother could get him to do was find a Publix parking lot somewhere in the Orlando area. It was probably the most she could get out of his stubborn ass.
So we sat there in this parking lot, got some blankets and binoculars, and... we weren't even looking the right way. I mean, we were probably looking east-ish, but by the time we even had a chance of seeing our error, the shuttle was more than halfway to orbit. I didn't see a thing. At the time, my mother spared my feelings and phrased it simply as "we couldn't" make it, the truth only coming out this past year.
So my motivation for launch attendance is rooted in bitterness as much as it is enthusiasm. I missed the last-ever chance to see a Space Shuttle launch, nay, I feel robbed of it with the knowledge I have now. And as I sit under that proverbial one that got away, looking up at her intricate tiled underbelly, I remember the bittersweet feeling that tinged the #NROL61 launch at the beginning of august, and the discussion at dinner last night where this all came out proper. I feel odd, knowing that my motivation and enthusiasm for space are so discolored with this bitterness, wishing I could simply appreciate and revel without it ever crossing my mind.
I hope someday that'll be the case, as I look at the nice exhibit @NASAJPL has put together and tap my feet incessantly with glee for what this mission will do for science and our understanding of the universe. Maybe that streak of bitterness will fade with time.
To everyone I'm seeing with the VIP badges and the nice shirts and pins, good luck tonight on the launch, and I wish you all a serendipitous 7 years to come.