Taking a step back

Been thinking about making this post for a long time now. Guess its best to stop delaying it and finally do it. I will be taking a considerable step back from my presence in the Heroes of the Storm scene. There are many reasons why I am doing this. I have written and rewritten this post 2000 times trying to find the best way to explain why and explain what reasons but every time I do I don't like what I am writing. I feel I owe it to my fans to at least be somewhat honest here. There will be rambling, sorry.

I am not happy and haven't been for a while. That is the main reason really. I've written and rewritten this part 200 times. I guess the best way to leave it is I havent enjoyed the managing aspect of this job for a long time. There was a time I was very very involved with the team, things changed because of my own fault, and I was told to stop being so involved. There are a lot of sides to this, everyone has their own perspectives, so no point in trying to go into detail won't really get much done. I will say, this crushed me, more than most probably realize. I was giving it my all, and the entire situation caught me 100% off guard. I wore a lot of hats early on which caused a lot of issues, but the main thing I did wrong was being everyones friends. I think thats what caused most of the issues really. It was hard especially for me to take the friend hat off when doing things that were serious. That is why I have been more and more hands off with the newer tempo rosters really. Just got the the point where all I did was what was required managed them. No longer sat in scrims, no longer tried to help with those kind of things, just did what I was paid for. This led to me being more and more unhappy every day.

People may not realize but all I have ever wanted is to cast. I started in 2010 and it has always been my main focus minus the first 6 months I was with tempo where I was focusing more on coaching and managing. I would have quit back in December if it wasn't for two people. Cyasteve from Blizzard and Gillyweed. Because of these two I for the first time since I started casting in 2010 gave it my all literally everything I could. I was talking to them daily for feedback, I started looking up vocal exercises, started working on my health so it was easier to breath when casting, even went so far to drastically change my casting style for the better. I took every gig I could, would cast by myself and listen to it to see what I personally didn't like, spent so much time with gilly trying to perfect our duo and see what direction was best for us to take it in. Accidentally became best friends with her, which ended up translating into our duo and made the entire casting experience more enjoyable than it had ever been. I had been casting for 6 years, but this was the first time I really actually treated it like it was my job instead of me being some guy talking about video games.

I do not make much money. I am in a very very very very fortunate position that I have had the tempo house with all its bills covered. I would not have been able to do this without it. However, even with bills covered, every month was stressful. Things started being less stressful when I started getting gigs as an observer. Working 1 event as a caster or observer was basically 3 months salary. The amount I made would help me get to the next event, and would keep me from losing my mind. Eventually I realized though it was not what I wanted. If i kept going down this observer path I would be A. Wasting blizzards time training me because its not what I wanted and B. get locked into observer when again all I wanted to do was cast. I stopped taking those events, and eventually when my savings from observeingr ran out things became stressful again.

I told myself if I got every regionals event I could justify staying around. Which really is an unrealistic goal. I'm at a point where I have been unhappy for a while, questioning if this is what I should be doing every day, and whats best for me. I think its best for my mental health if I just take a massive step back, maybe even stop with heroes completely. .I'm turning 26 soon, not 368719123 based of what my daily birthdays tell you, I have no savings, piles of debt from when I dropped out of college, I think its time to approach esports from a different angle.

I have applied for my old I.T. job, and a few others like that. I think I'll try and keep involved with esports casting, there are plenty of people who have full time jobs and still cast and I plan on doing the same. I just do not know to what extent Just depends on how demanding my new job/new life will be. So will I keep casting? Yeah 100% will be and that is still my ultimate dream. Will it be for heroes? I do not know to be honest. This will atleast be the start of a major break for me when it comes to the public side of things.

As for my role with tempo, I do not know yet to be honest. Most of the duties required can be done online pretty easily. However, there are probably people who would give it more and would be a better fit for it. This is still something I am trying to figure out so update on that later I guess.

I didnt want to make this post. To me feels like a bunch of whining and complaining when in reality I am in a very very fortunate position when it comes to heroes esports. I feel like I owe it to my fans though to let them know why instead of leaving without saying a thing. I just am not happy any more and want to change that. Keep saying that rambling mode to the extreme. I'll keep people updated on whats going on with me via twitter, my future with tempo, so on over the next few months. However, consider this a goodbye.

Shoutouts time I guess

First to Jake and Cooby. Their friendship was something I never expected, and it grew into them becoming like brothers to me. Best of luck Jake with your esports career, cooby I miss you man.Jake better invite me back for town holliday this year though. Side shoutout to Schamtoo, the 4 of us built something that was really amazing, and so many great things came from us doing town hall. Will always care for these guys. Couldnt be more happy that our replacements were Dunktrain and Bkb, much love and respect for these guys and hope they carry the town hall banner well into the future.

Next is Cyasteve. This guy has done so many amazing things for the heroes esports scene.He took a personal interest in my casting about 6 months ago and has always been someone I could go to and ask for advice. He helped me so much recently and will always love and respect this man for that. Heroes is very very very lucky to have him.

Miwa. It took me a while to realize this but Miwa is probably one of the greatest people I will ever know. He has been there for me so many times without me realizing it and has truly been one of the kindest friends I will ever have. Thank you for everything man.Also to the space lads Caff K1 and Dream. The three people I looked forward to seeing the most at lan events. Became very good friends and helped me fall in love with heroes all over again. I wish these guys the best of luck.

Nicki from the heroes esports team. She honestly caught me off gaurd. So many times as a caster you ask people for feedback, whether they are blizzard, ESL, friends, whoever. 99% of the time you will get a blank "I thought it was great good work!" or just no respond. I don't know Nicki very well at all. When I asked her for feedback though she gave me her honest thoughts and it was awesome. She is someone who actually cares about this scene and this game and I hope for the best for her because of that. Amazing how one interaction can affect you so much. So much respect for her.

There is a massive list of players and friends I have made I could give shoutouts too but its just so long. Special side shoutouts to Arthelon and Glau who despite losing touch professionally have always checked in on me and stayed friends. So many people I loved seeing at events, so many great friends made. Sorry I'm too lazy to type out the names of everyone I love ^_^

To Reynad, Frodan, and Tempo Storm. I dont know if this is the end for me with my time with tempo. Still want to figure all this out. No matter what happens though big thank you to this org and reynad for giving me these opportunities. Its changed my life and will always look back at me joining tempo as one of the most important moments in my life. So thank you.

Finally to Gillyweed. This isnt the end of the greatest casting duo in the world. We are cocasters for life. Cya soon friend.

Jared 'The birthday boy Zoia' Eggleston

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