re: @rationalwiki & @hbomberguy and the Sierra movie #GamerGate

Okay, fighting the urge to do a video on this, I'll just say it here:

The Sierra movie has been dead and buried for almost two months now. I don't know why Chris and Rational Wiki are pretending that its something I'm still doing but I'm not.

Chris put up another of his "measured response" videos which, predictably, is anything but. In any event, Chris cut together some footage of me to make it look like I was saying that every single person that I wanted to interview had confirmed that they would not speak to me- that was not what I said at all. In reality, I was informed by those in the know that the old Sierra crew was very tightly knit and once one person pulled out the rest were likely to follow. Rather than wait to find out if any more of my childhood heroes were going to publicly disavow me, I decided to back out. I was informed by SJW trolls that they were mounting a letter writing campaign to make sure the folks at Sierra knew what a piece of shit I was. That's why I say Sarkeesian fans killed it.

Chris, from what I can tell, you are basically someone who lives for virtue signaling- what Anton Lavey would refer to as "wearing a good guy badge." Your whole existence seems to be built around pointing out the unPC shortfalls of your perceived enemies to make your self seem oh-so-enlightened-and-progressive by comparison. That strikes me as a very hollow, forever unsatisfying way to live.

For example, when I said that being denounced by a Sierra developer was like being denounced by Walt Disney, you immediately responded that YOU would love to be denounced by Disney because he was anti-Semitic and a Nazi sympathizer (this is something I keep hearing but have never heard it substantiated. Not saying it's not true, I just don't know what the evidence is.) Except that's not what I meant and you know it. I grew up with Mickey and Goofy and all those characters and they helped make my childhood magical- and it would be a kick in my inner child's balls if the guy who created them told me I was an asshole. I also mentioned a lot of other people, like Charles Shultz and Don Bluth, who objectively are NOT anti-Semitic Nazi sympathizers but you chose to ignore them and focus on the one guy that would allow you to paint me up in a negative light.

When I was thinking about what to say in this response, I started to say this:

"If you watch David Lynch's first short film titled 'Six Guys Getting Sick Six Times,' you would never think that this was the guy who would go on to direct Blue Velvet. But we all start somewhere."

I caught myself before I said that, Chris, because while that would be a valid argument in most people's minds, I know exactly how you'd spin it- you'd say something like "well someone like Jordan Owen WOULD cite a movie that's notorious for its gratuitous depictions of violence against women!"

And that's a really lame, shallow, dickless and thoroughly dishonest way to argue Chris- and you're not so dense you can't get that. You're not so dumb that you actually think "finding politically correct action or observation from person automatically nullifies their point." You know full well what an ad hominem fallacy and what a guilt by association fallacy is.

I recall you first started tweeting to me when I mentioned that I was researching Cultural Marxism for the Sarkeesian Effect. You decided to twist my ear with a lot of noise about how people who criticize Cultural Marxism are Nazis or something. Whatever. I ultimately decided to leave Cultural Marxism (and a lot of other things) out of The Sarkeesian Effect and you know it.

"WELL IF THAT'S SO TRUE WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO..."

Chris, let me stop you there. I'm aware of the VERY dumb mistakes I made with TSE. All of them. Including that one. And that one. And ESPECIALLY that one. I have spent every single goddamn day of my life since then asking myself why I did that and more and more I understand why (and that's an answer for me, not you.) I just take solace in knowing that my worst decisions have already been made.

Look Chris, I'll be honest with you: I know what a loser I am. I know how pathetic and worthless I am. I know that I offer nothing of value to the world at large and I'm not saying that sarcastically or ironically.

And although Lisa is a very dear friend, I really wish that she hadn't tweeted out publicly that only 9 people showed up. That was embarrassing. It doesn't matter if my next movie premieres to a packed house at Cannes and receives a standing ovation with Roger Ebert himself rising from the dead (with jawline intact) to give it a thumbs up, you and ol' Devboy at Badass Digest (or whatever you call yourselves now) will still make sure I'm remembered in history books as the guy that only got 9 people at his first premiere because that's what passes for journalism these days.

Each day I wake up feeling like shit knowing that I wasted an entire year of my life on a totally fruitless endeavor and have only public shame and ridicule to show for it. None of this is lost on me. That's why I decided to devote my channel to discussions of art, books, films, games, etc. rather than arguing with [decided not to publish what I originally put here] like yourself- because if I start to contribute to the discussion in a positive way, hopefully I can start to be thought of as proactive and not reactive. So far it's gotten me $20 per video worth of positive response and I'm hoping it will do more.

At the end of the day, I have maybe 50-60 years left on this planet if I'm really lucky and I might as well devote them to doing things that make me happy. That's why I stopped commenting on Sarkeesian- it just wasn't making me happy. I would hope you'd have the intellectual honesty to look at my review of That Dragon, Cancer (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oGFpflxI7M). I think you'll agree it's far more insightful and well thought-out than a lot of my previous work.

I realize that I allowed myself to turn into a professional buffoon and I'm working every day to reclaim my seat and the table of genuine intellectual discussion, but what I will not do is lie to myself and others about my opinions- they are what they are. I'm not going to pretend that Anita Sarkeesian is on the level when she obviously isn't. I'm not going to pretend Suey Park actually had a sniper sitting outside her window texting to her while looking down the scope of a rifle (and yes, that's literally what she's claiming- go look at her episode of that upcoming Syfy channel series.) I'm not going to pretend that Brianna Wu actually got bomb threats that forced her to leave her home when she was caught red-handed doing interviews from her home office and claiming she was somewhere else- especially after she claimed to be in touch with a District Attorney that later denied having ever heard from her or anyone connected to her. I'm not going to pretend that Melody Hinsley was actually suffering from PTSD. I'm not going to pretend that Zoe Quinn doesn't have a very thorough and well documented history of spinning wildly histrionic yarns when those she has hurt attempt to hold her to account.

I say this because I feel like every so often someone on the SJW/GamerGhazi side of all this will reach out to me and, earnestly and sincerely, say something to the effect of "you seem like a really decent guy, I just wish you could acknowledge x,y and z." I would like to think that such an olive branch comes from a good place in their hearts, but it leaves me feeling like Captain Picard shouting "THERE ARE FOUR LIGHTS!"

So no, Chris. I'm not going to have my good name held hostage by virtual signalers. I don't need to wear a good guy badge. Sarkeesian, Park, Wu, Quinn and the rest of the crybully sleaze bags are still crybully sleaze bags and I won't lie and say that they aren't.

But I will move on to more productive things. I would hope that you and Rational Wiki will have the intellectual honesty and personal fortitude to not lie about a project that hasn't been active for months, but I'm not holding my breath. I would imagine this will just be another opportunity for you to get on camera and giggle as you read my words, as if to suggest that there's something self evidently amusing about them.

I wanted to end this by saying that you strike me as a decent person, Chris, but really you don't. You strike me as a cocky, arrogant, self-satisfied little prick that gets off on saying shit on the internet he'd never have the balls to say to someone's face. That said, I don't think it's something you come by naturally- I think it's a learned affectation and its one that you can stop doing any time you want.

When that day comes- if it ever does- feel free to drop me a line the next time you're in Atlanta. I'll be happy to take you over to Oxford Comics and Games where we'll spend the afternoon nerding out over vintage comics and remembering that through it all, we have more in common than we don't. As Yukio Mishima put it, we are friends between whom there is a barbed-wire fence.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to finish my review of the new Dream Theater album.

Kind regards,
-Jordan

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