Mel M. @home in LA · @rawrsnacks
24th Aug 2015 from TwitLonger
Dating a World First Raid Level Player
It sucks.
Allow me to qualify my statement: for however long your significant other is in that tier of raid content—until they or the first one or two teams clear—you are dating a ghost; literally a ghost of your significant other, unless you live with them, and even then you are dating a shadow of your significant other. In my previous post I stated that if you want to reach your goals, you have to be single-minded until you attain that goal. My cousin explained how most doctors are tunnel vision about their futures, classes they take, activities, friends they meet until they graduate with that coveted M.D. Business owners have dreams and they work relentlessly until they own and are successful in that business. Same thing, different nerdy axis.
People who don’t participate in this type of content will never understand. “You’re wasting your time on a game.” Sure, but everyone understands what it is like to want something so badly and to work obsessively towards it, right? Remove the game component and bring it to its foundation. Boyfriends, girlfriends, wives, husbands, whether you are a gamer or not, you understand that core concept.
The other day my brother said he felt a ton of pressure because he wanted to win, he had just seen a 3% wipe, he was completely in his head, his team of seven other members were relying on him to keep it together and his girlfriend was upset because she hadn’t heard from him for awhile. The bottom line was: I could tell they were about to take World First. Not a pipe dream of it, they were going to win and my brother needed to hold together for a little while longer. So I told him to focus, tell her he was sorry, but it wouldn’t be much longer, and just focus on one thing at a time. You know the end result. The timing on her part was terrible. It’s not her fault, because she hadn’t heard anything for days (possibly a week) and raiding schedules are so random (especially after work schedules are back into play) it’s hard to know when is an “ok” time to talk to someone and when it’s not. I’ve been in the same boat myself.
Understandably she was upset and feeling a bit neglected. He was under a ton of pressure and disappointment from the one person you care about the most is added pressure because you feel torn. Remember the Stretch Armstrongs from the 80s? It’s like when you played tug-of-war with him and you ripped him in half and all his insides splashed out—my brother was a literal Stretch Armstrong. Now I give you this example, but I’ve been through it myself with Mike. He has gotten a lot better about texting me “I’m going in to raid,” “We’re done for the night, or “We’re struggling and I’m having a hard time.” It doesn’t make it any easier, especially during the week that raids are 16 hours a day. So what then? You’re used to a pattern of communication and you’re feeling a bit left out and neglected.
You need to learn to be a strong, independent black woman who don’t need no man (even if you are a man). Take time to yourself! Go finish that project you have been meaning to finish. Stay busy and for Pete’s sakes, hang out with your friends. You and your significant other don’t need to worry about each other for a bit so go crazy with friend time, and it’s (admit it) kind of nice to be able to schedule time with friends without trying to schedule around your significant other’s plans too. You do you, and trust me, you’ll be happier, your significant other will feel less pressured to not disappoint you, and in the end your relationship will be fine. They will also be more appreciative that you were so understanding of them and their hobbies, and you’ll likely see them reciprocate as well.