Kizár Elená Durin · @SilmarilNaro
16th Jul 2015 from TwitLonger
Stone-verse
The grasslands they marched across were familiar to Elennárë, perhaps not precisely the same stretch of land the Company crossed in Elenaria's memories but it was the same kind of rolling hills interspersed with rocky outcrops. Elennárë fully expected an elven patrol from Imladris to round one of the hills any moment, and was not sure it would be such a bad thing either.
She glanced at the bedroll just inside the tent she sat next to - Anvari's tent, where the young dwarf was already asleep. She had not been able to get to sleep herself and had tired of lying in her own tent, pretending, and had come to sit with him.
A soft whisper in the back of her mind made her look up to the skies, towards her sister's light. Further experiments with trying to reach out to Lossanárë the way Ravenér had advised had finally paid off, and made contact all the easier between them.
*"Have you decided whether you are going to go to Imladris, Sister?"* Lossanárë quietly asked.
"I... still am not sure it is a good idea. To risk someone wondering why a woman of Gondor would speak to Aralaimé..."
*"But you still remain unsettled by your Other's memories. Still feel a need to check on the hobbit."*
"Yes," Elennárë answered. "I don't know why, she seemed like she was fine with how he was, in her world. I don't understand why it keeps bothering me."
*"That it keeps bothering you must mean something, I have said so before." Lossanárë spoke, her tone reassuring. *"I am sure you can find a way to speak to Aralaimé without coming to the notice of the whole valley and he will be able to contact Russandol. You only need to work it out with your Anvari, both that and looking in on Master Baggins."*
Elennárë wrinkled her nose at the way her sister spoke of Anvari. Her words and the feelings that carried through the bond had a teasing to them, the implication that she had some sort of claim on Anvari.
*"Oh stop it, Náronórë!"* Lossanárë interrupted her thoughts. *"You care for him, I can see it. Who is to say he's not the one your Other had the vision about? I know the images she passed to you were not very clear, but you must admit, Anvari *is* a younger kinsman to Kíli."*
"He isn't dark, like that vision at Beorn's house. That life, her husband was dark, but not of the Shadow."
*"Hmm, maybe so,"* Lossanárë acknowledged. *"But why would any dwarf have a soul like that? No, he was not evil, but then neither is Shakurán and he *is* of the Shadow. That life, Anvari could have gone through something drastic and come out still essentially himself, but changed. Something like Fion and the dragonblooded. Your Anvari, the Anvari of this life, did not go through that, instead he had a different test to face, that of having to grow up as a child of the Dead, scorned whenever he encountered dwarves."*
"I suppose..."
*"We could try, you know,"* Lossanárë added. *"Try look across the threads, find out from one of those other lives, see if we can see if one of your others can show you for sure, who her husband is, maybe even that life Elenaria saw, the one who was pregnant. We even have her memories of those visions that we can use as a guide."*
"I..." The idea of deliberately looking into another life for something so personal, something that seemed so self-centered still left Elennárë unsure. "I merely feel it is too unimportant, going looking just so I can know who my One is."
Lossanárë remained silent for a few moments but Elennárë could sense her morose thoughtfulness. *"I suppose I want to do this because I want to see you happy, Sister. I saw my other self in Elenaria's life, saw the relationship she had with her husband and it made me sad to know I can never have that. If you could have your happiness, then I could at least be content, knowing you had that."*
That was definitely a sad line of thought, one that, if Elennárë was honest, she herself had been avoiding thinking about. If the only lives Lossanárë was truly happy in were those where they had ended up in Thedas (and there was sure to be more than just the one), it meant there were numerous lives out there where, like this life, Lossanárë was left without, and likely not even aware of what she was missing.
*"I wonder if I am worse off for it, knowing that relationship could exist, does exist, somewhere."* Lossanárë murmured, catching Elennárë's thoughts. "Maybe those lives are better off not knowing, content with the friendship with Eärendil, and everyone in Valinor who comes by when we're in dock."* There was a soft sigh and then Lossanárë deliberately pushed the morose thoughts away. *"But I cannot let it get to me, Sister. If I think on it too much I will get too down and that is no way to live. I still think it would not hurt to look, for your sake though. At worst, we may not see anything, as the Lords of Fate judge it as unimportant as well, but maybe they will allow it too. Maybe there is more that such a thing could let us know, besides the identity of your One."*
"I will think on it, Losá, though I am not ready yet to try it right at this moment." Elennárë responded, finally holding firm, for now, on the idea.
*"As you say, Sister."* Lossanárë agreed. *"You should sleep now. You will need to decide tomorrow on whether to go into Imladris, and you should have a clear head for that decision at the least."
"I will, Sister."