all the derby x · @niallscutelove
19th Jun 2015 from TwitLonger
Dear Niall James Horan....
I just want to start off by saying thank you. Even though you probably don't know why I'm saying thank you, and even though you might think that there is nothing for me to say thank you for, there is a reason. Every time you tweet, post a selfie, or anything it puts a huge smile on my face. It gives me hope. It gives me hope that one day you will actually notice me, that one day I will be able to hold you in my arms saying I love you. I pray and hope everyday that one day that day will come, and if you're reading this now, then it has. If you're reading this right now, I probably still haven't met you, but the fact you're reading this means you've noticed me, and my years of trying to make you notice me have finally achieved their goals.
I know some people in the fandom say that it isn't right to have a favorite, but even if they say they don't have a favorite, deep down there is one boy in the band that they have more of a liking to. It is kind of obvious who my favorite is, right? You. (If it wasn't i wouldn't be writing this to you right now) When i first saw you boys on X factor auditioning, i immediately fell in love. The blonde one, is what i called you in the beginning. I would tell everyone that i love the blonde one. But anyway, as you boys were finished you said, "This isn't the last one One Direction" and you were right.
4 albums later, and still going strong. 4 albums later, and still going on tours. I have not been to any one of your concerts, and this year my luck changed. I will be seeing you August 5 at MetLife Stadium, and i couldn't be more excited then i already am now. I am just upset with the fact that i will not be able to meet you, and i feel like this would be my only chance to get to meet you. It would be amazing if you could help me meet you, and actually make my dream come true. I know every girl and boy in this fandom has the same dream that i do, but its just different for me.
Next year when you boys release your fifth album, I won't be able to come to the concert, even if I tried. Purposely, to be able to come to this concert, On the road again, was to postpone my surgery. If i didn't postpone it, I wouldn't be able to go, when i actually really need to get it done. I have scoliosis, so the surgery would take around 6-8 hours in the operating room, getting an incision in my back that covers the entire part of the spine that needs to be straightened, while putting rods and pins in my spine to straighten it out more, which in result takes 3 months to recover. It's a long time, yes, and I was planning on getting it July of 2015, but then I would not be able to go to your concert, which my aunt and uncle bought tickets for me for. So with my surgery postponed for me to see you boys live for the first time, it's pushed off to next year in May. Usually you boys have the concert in my area in July or August, so once again i will not be able to attend. That is why i really wish i was able to meet you, since I can't because I don't have any VIP tickets. Even if it was just you, that would mean the world to me. If you could make this happen, I wouldn't be able to thank you enough.
I am planning on writing you a letter, so that if a miracle happens and i get the chance to meet you, you'll be able to read it. It may state just a little piece of what is in this twitlonger, but it would be much longer then this. I have been writing it over the course of months now, adding to it whatever I could, and I really hope that you will be able to receive it, since I can't throw it to you on stage since I'm so far from it. Maybe I'll catch you walking out to your bus and be able to give it to you. Who knows? There's many possibilities and hopefully one will happen.
I'm writing this on the day of June 19, 2015, (since I have no idea when or if you will be reading this) and my birthday was on June 10, (I turned 18) and i tried insanely hard to get your follow, and i had some amazing friends help me also, but i couldn't get your notice. I really hope that this gets your notice and possibly your follow, with a dm with your response to this. That would be my dream. I don't know if it's a lot to ask for, since I know you don't have a lot of time on your hands, but anything is possible if you believe in it, right? I believe that everything happens for a reason, and by me writing this, I hope something comes out of it. I never used a twitlonger before and God do i hope I can edit it in case anything that I think of comes along and I could just add it to this !(hahahaha)
Niall James Horan, you have no absolute clue to how much I love you. You are my life, my world, my everything, and it would be an honor for me to tell you that in person. I would love to just look you in your ocean blue eyes, getting lost inside them, and just tell you how I feel about you. It's sad to know that i am just "another fan" to you, and i really wish i was more then that. I wish that we had some sort of connection that even if we were friends, that I could just have conversations with you and tell you everything and anything. I wish that whenever I meet you, that I could make an impression on you. That you remember me. Remembrance couldn't be a stronger word than what it is, and I wish you could remember me. I wish I would cross your mind as much as you cross mine. I wish you would love me the way I love you.
But is that all just a fantasy? I don't know. Will that come true when I meet you? No idea. Is there a possibility that when we meet we have a connection? Yes. There is that possibility, but I already feel that connection, there's just the question of, do you?
I love you so much Niall James Horan. Stay true, be you, always.
Love, Amanda