Max-san · @MaXCSGO
2nd Apr 2015 from TwitLonger
amiibo collecting- and in turn, amiibo itself- has turned to shit.
--This is a blunt post. I may offend you if you collect. Sorry. It needs to be said.--
amiibo collecting has turned into an absolute shit show. First of all, why do the collectors HAVE to have each and every single one of these fucking plastic toys? What purpose are they ever going to serve you? To make your Internet friends "jelly" because you got that rare Shulk and they didn't? If that's the case, you need to take a long look at your life, because that's sad. Seriously, why is it that you have to have each character? Some may say "they look cool". Others may say, again, "I wanted to show off to my friends". Others still would say "I wanted to make a quick buck". I have yet to find many people who wants to collect these because they want to use what they're meant for- TO ACTUALLY TRAIN THEM IN SMASH BROS..
Honestly, I guarantee most of the people who collect these amiibo actually suck at Smash, but what does it matter to them? They don't want to use what they're used for. They want to get these neat little characters to put them up on a shelf in their house or bedrooms. Why the hell do you put them on a shelf, deck out that shelf with LEDs, and line them up in a little row? If you're collecting plastic Nintendo figures, chances are not many people come to your house, or at least up to your room. No one will see them. Sure, it'll make you feel great about yourself, but no one fucking cares about your collection!
Now, yes, I have amiibo. Nothing special, just a Kirby and a Link, sitting right on top of my Wii U. I got them a couple of months ago because I wanted to try out the implementation in Smash Bros.. And they're great! However, I want amiibo for my mains. Why wouldn't I? You get to train your own character, and put a copy of you, hell, an even better copy of you, into a piece of plastic to play against. The problem I face, however, are you cock-smoking collectors. My mains are Toon Link, Pit, Ness, and Jigglypuff. See a problem? Three of those are retailer-exclusive. What does that mean? EVERYONE WANTS ONE. Why? "They're so hard to find!!1"
If you collect amiibo to store them on a shelf, go fuck yourself. No one cares, no ones gonna see them except your mother and you, and the best it'll do for you is get you 50 link karma on Reddit. You're screwing over those who actually want to play with these and use them for what they're meant to do.
If you collect amiibo to show them off to your friends, go fuck yourself. Again, they don't care. And if you buy them to show them off to your "Internet friends", then you're a fucking loser. "I want to make that guy who lives across the country jelly of me!!". If you've done something like this, reconsider your god damned life. You're pathetic.
If you collect amiibo to make a quick buck, really go fuck yourself, though I can't blame you. There are literally people who have seriously injured people to get these pieces of plastic, so why wouldn't those people pay 100$ for them? You're a fucking scumbag if you scalp, though I can hardly blame you- I'd definitely have someone indirectly, or even directly, call me a faggot online to get $100.
What's the solution to this whole amiibo shit? Of course it goes back to Nintendo. I'm not really discussing anything new here- the whole Internet knows Nintendo is fucking stupid when it comes to amiibo. Why do they release such a limited supply into North America when there is clearly demand for lots of these things? I honestly couldn't tell you. Money is literally just flying at them, but they refuse to release more of these things. There really isn't much more to it. There's nothing we could do to stop it. A boycott wouldn't work. You would think "they hear us, they would know it's a boycott, so sure they would release more to get us to buy them!". Thread after thread on /r/amiibo and plenty of other forums on the Internet about how Nintendo doesn't release enough amiibo, and you expect them to listen to us after we stop buying them? They'd probably just take amiibo off the market in America, and boom, then you all have to import. I honestly don't see any way Nintendo can increase more amiibo coming to the US. They can, they just choose not to.
So what are our options regarding amiibo? Well, my only option is to get on my knees and suck the scalpers' dicks. Frankly, I don't give a shit- I'm a fifteen year old kid who's getting a job within the next few weeks. One thousand dollars seems like a fortune to me right now, and I only want four amiibo- one of which is only gonna cost me 15 dollars. Yes, I'm adding onto the problem. I don't care. This whole thing has blow up the point where it doesn't even fucking matter anymore unless Nintendo intervenes, which we all know they won't.
But to the collectors? Get out of it. It's a waste of time and money. Why stress over these things when you're just gonna store them on a shelf somewhere and move on? It's just not worth it. You're also taking away amiibo that people actually want to use in Smash Bros..
At PAX East this year, walking around, I saw a stand that had amiibo. There was a Shulk amiibo there. I asked the guy working the amiibo part of the stand "how much". Eighty dollars. Eighty dollars for a piece of plastic that someone likely paid thirteen dollars for. If that can't tell you how fucking stupid this has gotten, I don't know what will.
A year ago, I said "thirteen dollars for these little pieces of plastic? This will never get big". Obviously, I was very, very wrong. If you're a collector who doesn't actually play with the amiibo, and you complain about scalpers or Nintendo who are making it hard for you to get amiibo, shut the hell up- you're just as much a part of the problem as scalpers or Nintendo.
In conclusion, will this post do anything? No, and I don't expect it to. If one person decides to quit collecting because of this post, I'll be happy. Please quit. There are so many better things you could be spending this money on. If you collect and do nothing with the amiibos, please at least play with them to justify your purchase. If you don't, you're a real piece of shit.