kwon · @konkwon

18th Feb 2015 from TwitLonger

tl;dr: wasn't happy with how team was managed/didn't get along with few people.

It's mostly gonna be just personal ranting so there's not much to gain from here so you don't have to read it unless you want to get to know me. ALSO I'm sorry for the poor format. I'm really bad at English...

So my original motivation to play league competitively was to be content with myself, because I wasn't happy with myself in college so I wanted to be happy with myself with something I'm good at which was League.

Then most of you know that I got banned after I was chose to be sub for CLG for S4 Summer Split. So I had to leave the team I was in at the moment, which consisted of Flaresz, Thinkcard, Yusui, Wizfujiin (Now Apollo) and just wait to be unbanned. Shortly after I was contacted by owner of TDK that he is interested in recruiting me despite my status. I am grateful for that and he worked hard with Riot to negotiate my ban term after Riot changed Challenger Series format. Thanks to him I am unbanned as NACS started so I am able to play competitively under Riot now.

But yeah I wasn't happy with TDK past few weeks. And it had nothing to do with TDK being a bad team or anything. Being a full Korean team with Korean management, schedule was very strict and players are disciplined. I wasn't disciplined enough to follow that so I was stressed and burnt out over peer pressure that team gave me. Koreans in general are very hard working. Students studying for 14 hours a day is normal. I'm Korean but I grew up in Japan then later moved to States so I wasn't very familiar with 'hard working' culture. Teammates would play for almost 18 hours a day and I honestly couldn't do that. Soloq was stressing and some teammates started ignoring me. The game wasn't just fun at all at that point and teammates would talk behind my back and I could sense that I'm playing worse and worse day by day.

I didn't see myself being happy even if I make LCS with this team. I honestly think TDK has good chance of making LCS since they are very hard working but I just couldn't see myself in it. Perhaps I'm just running away from facing problems. But I felt like it was already too late and I just wasn't happy with everything. I guess the worst thing was that no one told me they were unhappy with how much I practice. I had to figure it out myself from how people were acting.

So I decided to leave the team. Maybe every team is like that and I just can't get used to team environment. Maybe it's just TDK because team is ran very korean-y(??????). I don't know what I want to do for future but I might look for a team or just go back to school from fall semester. Both options are tempting but I guess I'll decide from the offers I get. I'm probably gonna take a break from league for few days tho. I didn't have any freedom past few months and I want to be relaxed.

Best of luck to TDK in NACS.

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