Dear Ralf

Dear Ralf

I don't suppose you'll actually read this, what with all the reading up on depression and suicide you should probably be embarking on right now, so consider this an open letter of sorts.

I read your needless response to what happened with Clarke Carlisle and instead of writing that I think you'd have been better served deleting your initial tweets and just apologising. However, there are two things from what you said I agree with;
1. Drink-driving in it's 'common' form is abhorrent.
2. You aren't an expert in mental health.

I should expand on point one, you seem to treat Clarke Carlisle's incident and his mental health as two mutually exclusive entities which in my mind is incorrect. While I wouldn't want to defend any form of drink-driving, this wasn't some office worker getting pissed at his Christmas do and thinking he could make it home before his wife finds out about his mistress, this is a man so deep in depression that his judgement was clouded. Falling so deep into a hole like that means that, even for a split second, your mind can allow you to rationalise the irrational. It isn't a concious decision to suffer from depression, a grip can take a hold of you at any time and become difficult to escape. While my thoughts obviously go out to all those, such as the lorry driver, who have to suffer the effects of what happened that December morning, it would be cruel and ignorant to ignore Clarke Carlisle too.

And my second point; I am not an expert on mental health, depression or suicide either. However, the day before Clarke Carlisle's attempt on his own life my older brother took his own life. I do not know the reasons, he didn't leave a note, and I do not know the method, I haven't been brave enough to ask. What I do think I know, though, is that for a split second my brother and Clarke Carlisle were both in a difficult place - a place they saw no escape from other than through taking their own lives. Thankfully for Clarke Carlisle's family, his friends and his loved ones, he is still here today. Sadly I cannot say the same of my brother, but I feel not anger towards him, I do not see him as selfish as others may, I do not judge him. I would ask that you do the same of Clarke Carlisle, and others who face similar situations as him.

Mental health, depression and suicide still have a strong stigma surrounding them; your post and tweets only seek to reinforce that on the impressionable. Please educate yourself, please know that others shouldn't feel too ashamed or proud to seek help.

In the aftermath of my brother's death my family chose to raise money for a charity called CALM - we wanted to raise £200 and, thanks to the generosity and understanding of others, have raised over £3000. Please look into the work that they do.

Thanks

Jonny

You can find out more about CALM here: http://www.thecalmzone.net
Fundraising in memory of my brother is still taking place here: http://www.justgiving.com/Roger-Sharpless/

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