Kizár Elená Durin · @SilmarilNaro
27th Jan 2015 from TwitLonger
Quest-verse: Coming Home.
After http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1sk08d7
Returning to Cardemir means Kizár faces Dís.
@SonofDari @SilmarilNaro @SilmarilAndrast
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Kizár
The journey west from Rivendell had been relatively easy and peaceful, with no assaults by orcs or trolls along the way, and if there had been any human bandits, they had been smart enough not to dare them. A couple of times they had heard wolves in the distance - normal wolves, not wargs - but they too had not come near, and once spotted a group of traveling Elves, but decided it would be better to avoid them as enough questions had been thrown around in Rivendell about the two Silmarils that meeting an unknown group might be awkward. Given some of the tempers just amongst the children of Fëanor in their number, that awkwardness cold have included drawn swords and more threats of fire.
Their group had stopped at the troll cave not far from Rivendell, where Bofur had insisted on retrieving the chest of gold he had buried there, but Kizár found herself more distracted by other things that were uncovered at the same time - particularly Elenlanta, the Fallen Star, Russandol's own blade, made of metal that included a piece of the fallen star he found in the Avasar ravines beyond Mount Hyarmentir in the southern mountains of Aman. That sword reminded Kizár of a couple of swords she once knew in Thedas, but only in relation to having starmetal in their make-up. One of those swords had been her own, Eru Náro - Maker's Fire - the sword that was once made for Andraste and could channel a Silmaril's White Fire.
It raised questions about Bilbo's sword - a dagger made as a companion blade to Elenlanta, but Russandol had refused to accept Sting back, saying it had gained an honourable name in Bilbo's keeping and should stay with the wielder who gave it that name.
Arriving in Bree had seen a fair bit of curious looks both Kizár and Russandol's way. Kizár only seemed to get second looks when her ears were obvious, though Russandol got a lot more odd looks, as not only an Elf, but a tall one at that. He managed to sink into the background when he wished, while Kíli went around speaking to the dwarves currently in the town. As luck would have it Brea and Bladvila were there when they stopped in and would be able to round up and contact as many others who were out on the roads, passing the word about Erebor to all those not in Thorin's Vale and Cardemir.
The odd looks grew even more common in the Shire, as the hobbits if those lands, unlike their Bree kin, were greatly unused to seeing other races, and saw so little of Elves they seemed almost fairy tales to the hobbits. Now they're little party had not only dwarves, but an Elf who made even the rarely seen Rangers seem ordinary, well Kizár suspected it would be the talk of the Shire for some time yet, the strange and outlandish types Mister Baggins kept company with!
They stayed for a few days while Bilbo started to get the mess of his auctioned-off belongings dealt with, and in the midst of it there were not a few incidents with berating and otherwise *concerned* relatives who felt the desperate need to come expound their thoughts on Bilbo's time away and the company he returned with. The most memorable incident came when one Lobelia Sackville-Baggins took a sharp tongue to not just Bilbo, but Kíli, Dwalin, Bofur and even Kizár when Lobelia spotted her standing in the background. Lobelia Sackville-Baggins ended up in a pond, trying to get water plants out of her hair, thanks to Dwalin.
But now they were on the final steps of their journey, with Thorin's Vale just over some mild hills, and with it the ruins of Belegost, where Durin's Folk had found shelter and built Cardemir, their home-in-exile. Kizár was... nervous about what she would face there, for while it had been her home for a little over sixty years, only two people had truly known she was there. Dwalin had somehow known Kíli had a soul-stone and some of how Thorin had acted before they left Erebor made both she and Kíli believe he at least suspected, but... Kizár was truly worried about how Dís would react to her, about how much she may have known about Kizár's presence and how she would take to Kizár's position as Kíli's sister.
Kizár had heard the rumours about Dís having another child - a daughter - just as much as Kíli had, and it seemed like a rumour to take advantage of if she was going to be the dwarf she wished to be. She had been an Elf already - albeit a Thedosian elf - and she had no desire to live as a human, and she did not have any need to be Ñoldor right now, not when those who she would be such for would still be here with her long after those of more mortal races had passed. No, she would walk as one of Mahal's children while she was sister to his eldest son. She just had to hope her would-be mother was willing to have her as a daughter.
Kíli
Kíli stopped when they entered the valley and saw the road leading up to the gate. This was it... this was home. There was no other place he felt as strongly about, he had felt home the moment they had come back to Eriador, but now that he stood here, in the ancient valley with the broken statues and saw the old gates of Belegost ahead of them, he knew they were home. He smiled at Kizár beside him, noticing she was nervous. It was the first time she walked these halls openly, though she had been with him for decades, his invisible sister.
They group attracted more than a few stares, when they walked down into the city. Russandol alone was someone who would attract attention, especially as dwarrow were dwarrow and their memory of song and story never faded. A red-headed elf with only one hand would cause talk, and in some cases sage nods or shakes-of-head according to temper. They followed the winding path down to Stormwyrd hall, deep inside the broken city.
Kíli wondered how much his mother - Dís - already might know. Thorin could easily have send a Raven ahead, and he might have, due to all the strange things that had happened in Erebor. The thought hurt a little bit. Kíli knew he might never find the same warm relationship he had with his Uncle, less because he had given away the Arkenstone, but because of revealing his true nature as a soul reborn. It had caused a rift between them and Thorin might have chosen to prepare Dís for what would come to her home.
Half of those thoughts vanished when they came to shattered yard outside Stormwyrd hall and short, dark-haired figure emerged from the forge and without so much as a prelude embraced him firmly. "Welcome home, Kíli." Dís voice was warm and affectionate and a second hug followed quickly, before she stepped back to look at the others. Her eyes went to Kizár and then she reached tentatively out to touch her shoulder.
"So you are the one who sang this one to sleep so many times?" she asks friendly. "I thought I only imagined it, though now I see I did not."
Kizár
"I-" Kizár found herself feeling unsure and unable to get her words into order. She had wondered if Dís could know, but the straight forward statement... "He gave me his friendship and affection, I could do no less back. As he made my life better, I strived to see his could be brighter as well." She said, blushing lightly under Dís's gaze. "And you, though I stayed in the background, you were always a reassuring presence for me as well."
Dís
"And so you became his sister," Dís replied, seeing the shy expression in the girl before her. "do not be surprised, when Kíli was still very small, he sometimes let things slip. Most people believed them to be nonsense, the imaginations of a child..." She hesitated. "I had my own reasons to listen more closely." She stepped closer and simply embraced the girl, who seemed in need of a good hug. "Welcome."
Kizár
Kizár tensed for a small moment but then let herself relax. "It's good to be home again... Mother." She murmured, letting her head rest on Dís's shoulder.
For a few moments she stays there, before drawing back. "Have you been doing well while we've been away? I know Thorin asked you to manage everything in his stead, and now that we're here, we will be stirring everything up, getting everyone mobilized to make the trek east."
Dís
A warm smile rises in Dís eyes, and she is more than tempted to hug Kizár again. "Things were well enough during the winter - aside from the worries and rumors. Now.... now that you are here things will be chaotic, to say the very least." She cannot yet let the feeling sink in, the thought of getting back on the journey across half of middle-earth to a mountain that once was home. Thorin's two letters... they said many things, while not saying other things. "But I am rude, I let you stand here, instead of asking you inside, to talk by a warm fire and a good meal."
Kizár
Kizár nods, with a small blush as Dís ushers them in. "I currently do not need to eat, something Kíli has a thought to change soon. This form, while it feels solid is not exactly... flesh and blood." She explains delicately. Glancing towards Russandol, she adds, "I'm sure my elder brother would welcome a meal though, while I will be glad of company."
Dís
Dís studies her for a moment then her eyes go to Kíli. "What do you need, to help your sister?" she asks directly, while they go inside.
For a moment Kíli stumbles over the words, surprised by the question. "Time mostly, I think my old hideout - the forge down there, will be the best place to do it. The material will be tricky though, because it needs to handle the flow of the arcane, a spark of life and a measure of the world's own pattern in equal measure without corrupting. The entire hoard of Erebor would be useless in that endeavor."
Now Dís laughs, a short, curt laughter. "and I bet you had to tell Thorin exactly that." She observes. "There are only two possible materials - or alloys - that come close, if you want my opinion. You come to see me, first thing tomorrow, and we see about that."
"Mother..." Kíli protests, guessing where this is going, but Dís suddenly stops, touching his arm with one hand, and Kizár's with the other.
"Thorin wrote to me," she says and her voice gains a sharper edge. "and while he wrote a good rant, telling me many things, it will force me to reveal something, I wish I did not have to reveal. I may lose a son of that, and I want him to have a sister, now that more difficult truths are forced into the light."
Kizár
"Lose a son...?" That catches Kizár's attention enough that she does not catch herself before the question comes out. "I'm sorry, but I don't quite understand that. You could never be anything other than our mother, no matter what happens."
Dís
Dís smiles sadly at Kizár and squeezes her hand. "I wish it was that easy, Kizár," she says softly. "but with all that Thorin wrote to me, about Kíli - about Kíli's true journey, and about that "agreement" he made with Kíli, so he may not disrupt the succession in Erebor, I cannot in good conscience keep my silence any longer. It would dishonor myself and Dari if I did so."
She looks at both of them. "Kíli... you were not born my son. You mother's name was Ida, and she had a short, ill-fated affair with Thorin. We both went into labor about the same time, the very same night the Dunlendings raided our camp in Dunland." From afar she can still hear the thunder that night, the rain battering down, the forest catching fire as the lightning struck. "Ida was killed by a stray arrow, just as you were born and my... my little girl... another arrow took her and Auda, the midwife. We barely escaped with our lives that night, and with your mother dead, and Thorin too far away to decide on you, Dari agreed to accept you as ours. I could not have let you go for anything after that night..."
Suddenly Kíli steps forward and embraces Dís, holding her tight. "Kizár is right," he says, his voice becoming rough. "nothing has changed." A year ago he might not have been able to take this in a stride, now, after all that happened, with all the memories, things are different.
Kizár
Giving a voice to her own thoughts about what a mother is to her, Kizár starts to speak in a quiet voice. "My birth parents, for one reason or another that I never learned, allowed my sisters and I to be adopted by Curufinwë Fëanáro. He became our Father, his wife became our mother, their sons became our brothers. They were family because of the emotions that made them so. One of the small group of Elves who departed from Valinor with the Dark Lord was someone we long considered more of an uncle to us than either of Finwë's sons from his second marriage, and because, even turned Dark, he remained kind to us and helped us cope, he always was and always will be our uncle." There is a brief glance towards Kíli before she begins again. "My sisters and I tried to escape Angband and landed ourselves in a place where we spent a long time living separate lives. I lived with a long line of mortals and each and every one of them, though in my life for a short time, were all family. I remember their names and keep them safe - mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters, family all. I found a way to have a body I could live a life through and one of that line became mother to that life, and while I had to be raised away from her, when I finally got to see her and her other children again, they were still family."
Kizár takes a breath, partly to let go of some of the emotion speaking all that has brought up inside her. "Family is not all blood, and while I will never deny that is part of it, the most important part, on a personal level is and always be the emotions. You are Kíli's mother, because you were the one who nursed him and cared for him when his blood mother was gone. You were the mother who cleaned scraped knees and listened to silly tales of his sister and paid attention. You taught him, disciplined him and was the one there for him. Even if the truth of your blood links are made public, you still remain his mother in the way that is most important, the way of the heart and soul."
Dís
Tears sting Dís's eyes as she steps forward and embraces Kizár anew, holding her tight. "And you shall always be my daughter," she says, her voice cracking a little. "my little girl, Kíli's sister." She knows she will make it happen before they depart, and no one can gainsay her on it.
Kizár
"Amad." Kizár murmurs the Khuzdul word for 'Mother' quietly, leaning into Dís's arms again. "We an work out how to make a dwarf out me, and an... elf?" She tilted her head as if listening to something unheard. "Of Lossanárë, so we can both walk on two solid feet when we eventually go to see the Lady of Himring."
Lossanárë
Lossanárë had not wanted to interfere in something that was for her sister, staying just beyond mundane sight, but at Kizár's words she let herself be seen. "I have been one of Mankind twice before, I would be glad enough to be an Elf this time around." She murmured, giving Dís a polite nod. "Pardon my sudden appearance Lady Dís."
Dís
Startled for a moment Dís almost jumps when the second Lady appears. Looking at her, then at the elven red-head in the background and remembering what Kizár said about their journey, about three sisters and Angband, she has her own thoughts on the story. "Elf or no," he says to her. "you are the sister to my Kizár here, which makes you part of my family, and I am happy to meet you."
Lossanárë
"Thank you, and I am glad of more family to call my own as well." Lossanárë responded, smiling in a manner slightly more relaxed as she sat down next to the quiet Russandol. "Old or new, to have people we trust to call such is of great value."
Kizár
"But we have a great deal of work to do, mobilizing the people, and getting everything worked out. I can at least help with that even before we get to the matter of bodies." Kizár said. "Kíli and I have also been thinking of investigating the tales of the veiled city, so we may have to part ways with the caravan heading for the Mountain, maybe on this side of the Misty Mountains. That will have to be decided along the way though."
Dís
Dís inclined her head towards the elven sister slightly, before turning to Kizár again. "I agree. The journey needs to be well planned, and knowing Brea and Bladvila, they will already have started rousing the populace. I would welcome your help on planning the long trek home...." She hesitated for a moment. "While I would love to have you with me all the way on the journey, I understand why you wish to go your own way. Though, mark my words - I will have a good many words with Thorin on his decisions regarding Kíli and you, once I am at Erebor."
Kizár
"Everything I have done along the way was to see the quest work out well, and see everyone come through it alive." Kizár spoke softly. "That always included Thorin, because as much as your are my mother, he has been my uncle through the years as well. The only place I could not let him have his way was over the Arkenstone, once I found out the truth of what it was." She looked significantly at Lossanárë. "But I am not happy about how he has acted over Kíli, as much of shock that his secret has come to be. Add onto that what you have now told us..." She shakes her head, not wanting to speak badly of him, but there is so much underlying upset in her brother's defense.
Dís
Dís cannot help it, she needs to hug Kizár anew, the longer they speak the more she feels like she truly regained her daughter, her little girl. "Even if Kíli were to be crowned the next High King of the Dwarrow tomorrow, he'd still be my son, your brother... and a dwarrow we need to look out for, because he gets into mischief." She says with a wink towards her. "But I can guess whence this trouble came from, and I will have words with Thorin about it. But this is long off, for the time when we are back at the mountain. For now, I am happy to have you all here."