Happy New Year! Have a deleted Ratchet/Drift scene from MTMTE #22:
The following was cut from MTMTE #22 (the documentary issue) for reasons of space - it would have taken up five pages. But as you can see, it was written up and ready to go. It was never seen or approved by John Barber or Hasbro, let alone published, so it's not canon (it's headcanon to me, though).
The lead-in to this scene would have been a to-camera interview with Drift in which he would have bemoaned Ratchet’s lack of a sense of humor. I’d originally written it – or something like it – for issue #13, but again it had to go when more important things took up page space.
1 / Drift walks into the medibay, where Ratchet is waiting with Rewind. Ratchet looks troubled and pensive. He’s leaning on one of the circuit slabs.
DRIFT: You wanted to see me.
DRIFT: Am I ill?
RATCHET: You’re fine. It’s me.
RATCHET: Close the door.
2 / Ratchet in the foreground, looking at the floor. Drift in the background, in front of the closed door, hand on the door activation pad, looking at Ratchet.
RATCHET: This is—
RATCHET: You’ll appreciate this is particularly difficult
for me to talk about, however…
RATCHET: You may be many things, but—until your
next massive personality shift—you’re not one to gloat.
3 / Drift stands opposite Ratchet, looking worried.
DRIFT: Okay, I’m worried now.
DRIFT: What is it? Is everything alright?
4 / Cut to Drift being interviewed.
DRIFT: I’d never seen him so worried.
DRIFT: And he was being nice—to me.
5 / Back to the medibay, as Panel 3. Ratchet is looking at his hands.
RATCHET: It’s my hands.
RATCHET: Pharma’s hands.
RATCHET: I mean the hands you, er, liberated from
RATCHET: The rogue doctor we met on Delphi. Who’s
6 / Cut to Ratchet being interviewed.
RATCHET: I don’t know why I added that bit.
1 / Back to the medibay.
RATCHET: Drift, I—
RATCHET: No, I can’t being myself to say it.
DRIFT: Say it.
RATCHET: I can’t!
RATCHET: Drift, I—
2 / Close up. An earnest Ratchet looks up at Drift.
RATCHET: I think my hands are haunted.
3 / Cut to Drift being interviewed – straight to camera. He looks nonplussed. Wise after the event.
DRIFT: Yes, well, exactly.
4 / Back to the medibay. Drift has turned away from Ratchet a little and is rubbing his forehead – a little concerned, a little taken aback. Ratchet is now standing up.
DRIFT: Sorry, for a moment there I thought you said
your hands were haunted. That sounds…
RATCHET: It sounds stupid, and you’re right.
RATCHET: "Possessed" is a better word.
5 / Drift turns back to Ratchet, looking genuinely concerned.
DRIFT: Okay, when you say haunted… possessed…
DRIFT: What makes you think that? How exactly
does this “possession” manifest itself?
6 / Ratchet punches Drift in the face.
SOUND FX: THOK!
1 / An angry Drift rubs his jaw. Ratchet, panicked, holds up his hands in a placatory manner.
DRIFT: The hell was that for?!
RATCHET: It’s the hands! They’ve got a mind of their
RATCHET: I’m not an expert in made up nonsense, but I
think—I think they’re imbued with some of Pharma’s residual spark energy! How else can you explain why I keep—
2 / Ratchet punches Drift again, knocking him backwards.
SOUND FX: THOK!
3 / Low angled shot: Ratchet stands over Drift, wracked with guilt.
RATCHET: I’m sorry! My hands hate Autobots!
RATCHET: I think spraypainting them has awakened
some kind of malevolent force!
4 / Ratchet looks angrily at his own clenched fist, like it’s operating independently of him.
RATCHET: Damn you, Pharma!
5 / Drift climbs to his feet. Ratchet looks at him pleadingly.
RATCHET: All that mumbo-jumbo touchy-feely claptrap
you believe… All that new age nonsense… it’s all true, isn’t it! I see that now!
RATCHET: My medical skills are useless! Is there any
way you can help me?
6 / Drift has his hand is on the hilt of one of his swords. Ratchet’s gesturing in such a way as to (inadvertantly) make what happens next possible.
DRIFT: There might be a way to exorcise them, but
it would take a tremendous amount of positive energy and a commitment on both sides to see the process through to the end…
RATCHET: Whatever it takes, Drift. Whatever it takes.
1 / Drift slices off “Ratchet’s” hands in much the same way he did Pharma’s at the end of issue #5.
2 / A stunned Ratchet stands there looking at his wrist stumps, too shocked to speak properly. Drift has bent down to pick up the hands.
RATCHET (small): You just—
RATCHET (small): You just—
RATCHET (small): With your sword…
3 / Drift runs out of the room holding the hands. Ratchet, panicking, watches him go, as does Rewind.
DRIFT: Now to banish this evil once and for all!
4 / Cut to a corridor nearby. Portholes/windows show that it’s on the outer part of the ship. Ratchet and Rewind come running around the corner.
RATCHET: Drift, wait!
RATCHET: Hold up!
5 / We find Drift standing by an air-lock built into the wall. He looks pleased with himself. Serruptitious detail: he has one hand behind his back/out of sight.
Ratchet and Rewind run into shot.
DRIFT: There. All sorted.
RATCHET: What have you done with my hands?
DRIFT: Don’t worry, old friend—I flushed them
outside. Pharma’s gone for good now. You’re finally free from his malign influence.
6 / We’re outside, looking in. Ratchet’s face is pressed against the porthole. His stumps are in view.
RATCHET: MY HANDS!
1 / The corridor. A furious Ratchet rounds on Drift. He’s never been so angry – literally hopping with rage.
2 / Ratchet rants.
RATCHET: What am I going to do now?!
RATCHET: I’m a doctor with stumps!
RATCHET: You’ve given me stumps!
3 / Drift reveals what was previously out of sight: in his other hand he’s holding (by dangling wires) both of Pharma’s hands. He’s smiling.
DRIFT: Got you.
4 / Cut to Drift being interviewed. He’s laughing his head off. No dialog.
5 / Ratchet being interviewd. He’s not laughing at all. No dialog.
6 / Back to Drift being interviewed.
DRIFT: Of course we weren’t the only jokers on
SIXTH PAGE (incomplete)
1 / CCTV footage. A corridor on the Lost Light. An ‘unconscious’ Red Alert is laying on a circuit slab to which some makeshift wheels have been attached. Swerve is wheeling him down the corridor, whistling.
2 / Swerve stops whistling – and looks worried – as he realises that Ultra Magnus is standing up ahead. Magnus looks very stern and suspicious.
SWERVE: I can explain.
3 / Magnus leans over him. Swerve is literally in his shadow.
MAGNUS: You can explain why you’re wheeling a
sleeping Red Alert towards the airlock?
SWERVE: Yes! Or…