My decision


Okay, I've had a total of about three hours' sleep, so this won't be too coherent. As many of you know, last night a video was released by a girl called Ania, revealing that one of my close friends, Jason (veeoneeye) had coerced her into having sex by getting her drunk at the age of fifteen. Until last night, I was unaware that this had happened, and had not heard anything about this, although I've since been told that this had been known by others in the community "for ages on the grapevine". Since then, more allegations have come out via Tumblr, with screenshots of conversations between Jason and the victims. Again, I was unaware of any of these.

I will not be standing by any human who coerces any woman - at any age - to have sex with them by use of alcohol. No human can give consent to sexual activity if there are under the influence of alcohol. What Jason did was manipulative, and to be honest, frightening. I have known him for a very long time, and this side of him was unknown to me. It breaks my heart to talk about him in third person this way. Up until last night, he was one of my closest friends, but I have an obligation to put the safety of the community ahead of my feelings. I've barely stopped crying.

For those horrible people who have accused me of "knowing Jason is a rapist", no, I fucking didn't. I, like others, had heard rumours a long time ago that Jason had not always acted appropriately with fans. (Sidenote - none of these rumours reflect any recent witness account.) I was ignorant, and I never pressed further into it. This is something I regret, but at the time, the thought of confronting one of my closest friends about things that I'd heard on the grapevine and not actual witness accounts didn't cross my mind. You see the best in your friends. You refuse to believe things that don't portray them in a good light. When it hits you that you didn't know the full story, it's devastating.

I do not live with Jason, nor am I always in close contact with him. I was told through friends that at one point this year, Jason felt he needed to clear his head and abruptly left for America. I was told this was because of an allegation made against him, and again, I should've looked more into it. I feel as though my ignorance has let you down, but, like most of you, the Jason I knew was sweet, caring and dedicated to making his viewers happy.

Do I believe Jason has changed? Yes, I do. Since he returned a few months ago, I heard no further rumours or allegations. The only nights out he had that I knew if were with his friends, and didn't involve parties or alcohol. Again, this is just what I know. Whether you choose to accept Jason's apology (which I respect, as staying silent would have been despicable) or not, I won't judge anyone. But I have an obligation, as someone with a large female audience of 13-17, to not condone his past behaviour. Will I forgive him in time? I don't know. Do I speak for any of his other friends? No. This is my choice, and it may be different to others'. I hope this explains my decisions and regrets appropriately. I'm sorry that I didn't do more.

Now that I've said my piece, I ask for peace at this time. Not only am I in shock, but I'm now mourning a close friendship. Please send love and support to Ania and any other victims of Jason's past manipulation - they need it far more than our friendship group does. So this is my decision. I'm moving forward without one of my best friends. And it breaks my heart to say it.

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