Yakov Horowitz · @yakovhorowitz
2nd Jul 2014 from TwitLonger
Beautiful letter from Rabbi Yakov Bender S'hlita re #EyalGiladNaftali
To Our Dear Parents and Alumni,
Klal Yisroel is living through a very difficult tekufah. In the short 24 hours since the terrible news of the horrible deaths that these threeyeshiva bochurim HY"D suffered, much has been written. While it might not be necessary to add more words of tanchumim and comfort to ourselves, and of course the mishpochos of the young men, how can one not react somewhat as to what our achrayus is at this point?
First and foremost, this horrific event hammers home to us the"halacha b'yodua hu She'Eisav sonei l'Yaakov." Eretz Yisroel is surrounded by enemies who would, chas v'shalom, annihilate every single Jew there if they had the opportunity. Sometimes we get a message, a very strong one, that "Ein lonu al mi l'hishoein ela al Avinu Shebashomayim." We cannot rely on the integrity or morality of the nations of the world. They can take us right down the wrong road. We also found out that we, Klal Yisroel, have each other to hold on to - to support and to be supported by each other. This is certainly a very comforting feeling. But how do we make 'heads or tails' out of the entire event?
I would like to take the personal privilege of telling you about what our family lived through many years ago. When I was a 15-year oldbochur my father was suddenly niftar, and all of my siblings and I, and my mother, went through a very difficult, long period. But no one, I believe, faced a more difficult challenge than our grandfather, Rav Avrohom Bender zt"l. My father was an only child, and from the moment that he was niftar and on, our mother and we were completely focused on what to tell the zeideh living in Eretz Yisroel. The entire episode is too long for a short message, but suffice it to say that we struggled very hard to figure out what to tell our old grandfather. After all, my father used to write four full letters a week to my grandfather (overseas phone calls were out of the question because of the exorbitant costs), and when the letters stopped coming my grandfather started calling us once, twice or three times a day. Our cousin Reb Shlomka Berman zt"l had made a decision in consultation with his father-in-law the Steipler zt"l, not to tell my grandfather until after Shloshim so he wouldn't have to sit shiva, since he had just gotten up from shiva for his second wife. But by day number #28, Reb Shlomka told me that we had no choice. They invited all of our family friends in Eretz Yisroel, such as Reb Elya Ber Wachtfogel Shlita and Reb Shimshon Pincus zt"l, who were bochurim, to be there with other members of ourmishpocho when our grandfather was told the bitter news. Their feeling was that my grandfather should be surrounded by people he was close to. There were a doctor and nurse present too when Reb Shlomka told my grandfather.
Upon hearing the terrible news, our 83-year old grandfather sat down on the floor and told everyone to gather around him. "I want you all to know that when my son, Dovid, was 3 years old he had a terrible case of rheumatic fever. The doctors gave up and told us that he would not live out the year. Look! Dovid lived till 53, which means Hashem gave us a present of a son for 50 more years." He spoke for a full half-hour of what it meant to have a son, a daughter-in-law, grandchildren and 2 great-grandchildren. He did not shed a tear. After the half-hour he said, in Yiddish, "Yetzt meg ich zich shoin tzu veinen." Meaning, now I'm allowed to cry a little bit.
As soon as shiva ended, my grandfather packed his belongings and told his friends and family in Eretz Yisroel that his daughter-in-law and grandchildren needed him. He left Eretz Yisroel, which he had called home since the state was founded in 1948, and moved here to help raise us. He did a magnificent job, helped marry some of us off, and returned to Eretz Yisroel where he passed away a few months later.
Hakodosh Boruch Hu gives tremendous strength to those most in need of it. As to why things happen? I don't know, and none of us can even try to figure all of this out. What I do know is the tremendous reservoirs of strength that each and every one of us have deep within ourselves, and it is at times like this that we have to summon this strength.
I have the great zchus of playing an active role in the great and outstanding Samcheinu, a widows organization, and in the very special Links/Shloimy's Club, a yesomim and yesomos organization. I never cease to be amazed by these wonderful, wonderful widows and orphans, who all somehow manage to overcome their difficult matzavim. We could fill volumes with the stories of these special people. The common denominator for all of them is that they did not allow misery and bitterness to overtake them. They kept their emunah and bitachon on a very high level.
We dare not say to the broken families that 'all of this was bashert'. While we do believe that with Emunah Sheleimoh, right now our job is to really feel the pain that these families are enduring. Reb Chaim Shmuelevitz zt"l shouted out in a shmuess that he delivered during the Entebbe crisis of 1976 that by right, all of us sitting here right now (in the Mir beis medrash) should become literally ill if we really want to feel the pain of those being held captive by theresho'im in Uganda. It is not our duty at this juncture to look for rhyme or reason but to strengthen ourselves in these two areas:nesias ol and bitachon. It is also incumbent upon us to sincerely believe, as the gadol hador, Maran Harav Shteinman Shlita said, that none of the tefilos were wasted. They went somewhere to help someone.
None of us should ever be tested as such, but these three families are carrying themselves with such grace and dignity that it is beyond comprehension. May we all be zoche to be reunited together with advent of Moshiach, bimheira biyameinu, Amen