Kizár Elená Durin · @SilmarilNaro
19th Jun 2014 from TwitLonger
At Beorn's: Wounds and Visions
Quest-verse. After http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1s25dhb and http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1s264uj
Kizár helps clean Kíli's wounds and both are plunged into visions.
@SonofDari @SilmarilNaro @Varakeen
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Kíli
"There's no way around it, laddie." Dwalin tried to be careful as he peeled off the bandages from Kíli's shoulder, they were dirty, soaked with blood and an alarming amount of puss. The wound was infected, it was rare for dwarrow to suffer from wound-fever, but sometimes there was an amount of dirt in a wound that even a dwarrow's constitution could not handle it.
Kíli shook his head. "No, Dwalin, please... not that again." He tried to not sound pleading, but he failed miserably at it. But to whom did he try to prove something? The Goblins had been quite thorough in their sport with him.
The broad-shouldered warrior shook his head. "You'll die from that one, Kili." he said grimly. "Thorin does not yet know how bad it is, if we want to keep it that way, you need to trust me. I've seen worse than this, survived worse too - if you want to keep up, we need to make use of the time we have here." He looked around into the thin air - they were sitting in Beorn's meadow, a good deal away from the house. Inside the walls that surrounded the fields they were safe, the skinchanger had said. "Kizár?" Dwalin asked softly. "can you talk some sense into him?"
The words barely hid the worries of the older warrior. Something... something else had happened in the hands of the goblins, something had changed in Kili, and he did not dare guess what that something was.
Kizár
"Kíli..." Kizár calls his attention to her. "I know you don't want to face the fire again." She murmurs in a soft soothing tone. "If you want, I can draw you so far into the dreamscape you cannot feel it." She offers. She does however wonder what might happen that deep, that was the level many had to sink to have true visions. For Kizár herself, that was closer to the point where she saw other lives.
That level of trance was one of the things that make her feel she failed in the caves. She had not noticed the floor had anything wrong with it and was terribly groggy even after the company had ended up amongst the goblins. Even in her groggy state her temper had been roused when she realised Kíli was being tortured and she had not given any thought to secrecy as she started to turn her fire loose. It was almost sheer luck she had not hurt any of the company members, who got themselves together enough to gather weapons and get free.
"I do agree with Dwalin that something needs to be done with that wound, Kíli. Let me help you through?"
Kíli
Kíli reaches for Kizár to embrace her with his healthy left arm. None of the others know where the fire came from. Luckily dwarrow like fire, so they had an advantage in escaping the burning Goblin fortress. "Kizár..." Kíli leans close, wanting to hold her. It is strange, but the further they go, she and Dwalin are the ones he feels closest to. "if... if we do this, I cannot avoid it... either I say no, and try to heal on my own, or I have to face it. Everything else would be the coward's way out."
Kizár
"I will be with you, no matter what." Kizár murmurs reassuringly. "I will be here, just hold onto me." She reaches into his mind, not the encouragement to sleep and dream, but instead as a solid presence that he can hold onto.
Kíli
Her presence, the warmth he can feel from her is something Kíli could simply snuggle into. Instead it brings another thought up. "Your fire," he says, in a hush. "could... could it burn out the wound?`Cleanse it?"
Kizár
Kizár's brow furrows in thought. "I have tried to heal only a couple of times before, and the first time my sister led, while the second time I had remnants of a healing spell to guide me... But this is a lot simpler." She looks at his shoulder, her attention turning to study the wound in depth, analyzing just how far the infection goes.
Kíli
Kíli gently traces his healthy hand over her hair. "I am not asking you to heal me, but to use your fire and burn the wound out." He still is scared of the flame, but the thought of Kizár's fire is much less frightening than the hot steel Dwalin will have to use. "I... I trust you."
Kizár
"I know, my fire-brother." Kizár turns her nose into his hair. "I believe I can burn it, clean it out and seal it." She turns to look at the pouch sitting on the pile of discarded clothing next to them. "Dwalin, will you hold my stoneform against the wound?" She asks. "I would feel the most confident right up close in my true form."
Dwalin
Dwalin looks at them both, like so often he feels the strong sense that he needs to protect them, both of them. "Of course, Kizár." He replies, very carefully taking her stone, holding it safely and gently between his hands.
Kizár
Kizár finds the gentle but secure hold reassuring, as Dwalin brings her up to the wound. She turns all her attention on it, redoubling her examination and searching out the deepest parts of the infection. She is not used to narrowing her flame down to a fine point, but concentrates hard to do so now, shaping a fine needle of white fire to slowly slice into the corrupted flesh.
Kíli
Kíli grits his teeth when the pain comes, the flame searing into his flesh. It hurts... and all he can try to hang on, to not scream, to not ask for it to stop. Kizár's presence, her warmth, her fire, make it bearable. Because he can sense her, and her presence helps. Still, the pain grows and suddenly... suddenly the pictures before his eyes blur.
The pain is still there, hot and fiery, but for a moment he sees himself standing in a stark, ashen landscape, fire eating at the stones around him. And something, something deep down in his soul hurts.
Kizár
Even though her attention is on the careful process of cutting and burning away the infection, Kizár can see when Kíli's mind shifts into another place. "Kíli..." She looks across the land he is seeing. "We need to get back..." Something about this place feels... Other. She tries to reach out for it, feel where it is.
Kíli
The dry hot ash touches his face, and the corpses around them are numerous. Mostly Orcs, some others too. He raises his hand to shield his eyes against the ash cloud. "We are too late." his voice is rough, hard. "They already brought him in there." His eyes scan the sharp ridges and the fiery mountain beyond.
"There is nothing we could do." The dwarf beside him shakes his head. "a seven nation army could not storm these mountains. You know we've tried. My brother... he still is with these damned elves."
From afar Kili hears a voice calling for him, a voice he knows, and while he cannot entirely wake, he can remember again that he is Kili. "Kizar?" he calls out for her.
Kizár
Kizár's concentration on the wound had abated for a moment as she moved to another spot, and as her mind was clear the images in the vision cleared. She looks now at the mountains, staring, almost mesmerised. "I almost never saw them from this angle... I was mostly on the other side..." She turns to look at Kíli, a look of painful remembrance on her face.
Kíli
Kíli reaches for her, wanting to embrace her. And there is a part of him, a part he has not yet a name for, maybe the part of his soul that stood here long ago, that tried and failed to save his brother, who can name the horror Kizár must have suffered. He wraps both arms around her form. "I'll not let you go back there..." he whispers. "never."
Kizár
"I saw those mountains fall, crushed by the armies of the West..." Kizár has to bury her face in Kíli's shoulder. "I do not fear it, it is long gone, sunk into seas, but when would dwarves have tried to attack it? Certainly in the First Age... a Dwarf brought in..." She goes over the history lessons she has learned, comparing them to her own memories. "The dragonkiller...? The Dark One raged about that..."
Kíli
My brother," Kíli almost feels pushed into the background, though still is in a way him speaking. There is a strange, painful clarity about this moment. "They got him... I told him they would eventually... we were too late to get him out." A part of him has not yet quit, in a stubbornness that Kíli did not know he could have. "They got Frérin..."
Kizár
"I wondered, though I never saw him. The Dark One locked my sister and I in his rooms before he went down to the dungeons..." A short, bitter laugh wells up in Kizár. "If I knew where he was going, I would have attacked him even harder. By then he knew I hated the torture sessions and would attack him if he took us anywhere near them."
Kíli
Protectively Kíli wraps his arms around Kizár, pushing the other voice, the other presence into the back of his mind. "Don't... don't think of it," he says gently. "you could not have done anything." He does not want Kizár to hurt, not over this... whatever this is. And *it* can wait. He needs to get Kizár away from this place, away from the memories. Focusing the hardest he could, he reached for the pain in his shoulder, that thrice damned goblin wound finally good for something, letting the pain guide him back to his living body.
Kizár
Kizár lets Kíli guide the way back, turning more of her attention back to the wound. She checks over how much she has done, but there are a couple more spots that need cleaning. "I think I can get through this quicker." She murmurs, starting to turn her fire on the next spot. The images of Angband float in the back of her mind still, making her think of the time she and Lossanárë tried to find a way to escape through the very threads of Fate.
Think of the threads while using her power is almost like calling them to her, and she feels echoes on the edge of her mind of something *other*. She has to keep a grip though, not letting the threads' pull distract her while she works, but as soon as she stops she finds herself pulled *elsewhere*.
Kizár opens her eyes to look around the raw, rough walls of a cave. Something about this place feels *deep*, but not in the threatening way of the Deep Fire. It feels like being within mountain caves, but the feeling is so much stronger than Ered Luin, so much more protective than the sickly feel of the goblin caves.
Laying by her side, curled facing her is Kíli, his belly round in a way that is more than telling, even if she could not feel the second flame within him. As she reaches out touch him, she feels her own awkward shape, and the bright light she carries as well.
Ravenswing
Kíli moves, blinking slowly when he feels Kizár's hand in his hair. He opens his eyes fully and pushes himself up on one arm. "Kizár?" he asks, holding her hand. "are you alright?" They have been looking after one another, now that they both are entering the late stages of carrying. But Kizár is pale and her eyes wide. "Should I send for a healer?"
Kizár
"No..." Kizár whispers. "I see through the threads Kíli..." She looks at him and sees an older version of the brother she knows, one who is strong, though he currently seems drained. The pregnancy, she guesses. "What would your life have been if you found me when you were a child? That is the life I am living."
Ravenswing
Surprised Kíli looks at her. Usually he does not use his arcane senses on his sister, simply because it is rude and feels wrong, but now that he does, he can see the presence of His Kizár and the presence of another, both patterns intertwining. "Finding you when I was but a dwarfling?" he asks surprised. "I'd count that more luck then I ever deserved." Still, he can see she is tense, or maybe it is simply the long practice of reading his beloved sister. "Are you well?" he asks her.
Kizár
"I am..." Kizár sighs softly, a hand absently tracing over her belly, listening to the sleeping soul within for a moment. "My brother was wounded. I was burning out the infection and fell into a trance state." She gives a half-smile. "I have been seeing bit of other lives in my dreams, and for some reason the Fëanturi have decided to send me here, now."
Kíli
"The Lords of Fate rarely do something without a reason." Kíli says. Maybe there is a balance here, in an odd sort of way. But the way Boromir's path transcended time and fate has taught him to never believe fate a simple matter. "Maybe you can find or learn something here - something that you will need as your journey continues. You say the other... your brother got injured?" He is not sure what kind of help he can give, what kind of knowledge she may need, but he sure will try.
Kizár
"Did you go on a quest to reclaim Erebor?" Kizár asks. "We're on such a quest, and recently had an... incident with goblins. My brother was tortured by them, and the wound got infected. He felt he would cope a bit better if I was the one to burn it out."
Kíli
"Goblin Town." Kíli replies grimly. While he knows that his own ordeal at the hands of the Goblins was stopped early, thanks to Boromir's intervention, he knows what the Wanderer went through there. "Yes, I went on that quest, more than 85 years ago, we were captured in Goblin town, the Goblins chose me for their games, to torment Thorin even further. A friend... who cannot be with you, was there and scorched Goblin Town, preventing them from using the Bone Breaker on me." He still has not let go of her hand. "I understand you, a bit, because I too carry the memory of a life that might have been... and that might be closer to the events you face, than my own path was."
Kizár
A wry smile crosses Kizár's face at the mention of burning. "Your friend's actions mirror my own, though likely more controlled. I was angry and lashed out, but it served as a good distraction anyway." The fears of the rest of the quest come to mind. "I worry though, I do not want to lose the only family I have left to this quest. I will fight any way I can to keep them safe, but it is still not easy..."
She looks at Kíli for a few moments. "My brother has been having dreams. He worries for his sanity, but they seem like memories to me... at least one such memory was from the First Age, and someone who knew Frérin Dragonsbane."
Kíli
"So his awakening has already begun." Kíli sighs. He knows he blocked his own awakening for a long time. "Kizár, your brother's soul... our soul, is one that was sent back to this world time and again, to help protect and guide our people. We were the first... as we will be the last, the closed circle." It is cryptic, but she is the one who taught him to talk like that. "There is no reason to fear for his sanity, he begins to remember the paths he walked before, the lives he lived. Some of them were hard, some cruel... they all had their sparks of good too. This is not what you need to worry about. If you are out of Goblin town, you are halfway to Erebor, and barring Thranduil becoming actually competent you will make it there." A sudden thought comes to his mind, two things she needs to hear. "Kizár, there are a few things that you need to know. First: the dragon, he can be defeated, but if he flies up uncontrolled, Lake-Town will pay the price. An archer is your best option in fighting Smaug. Second: the treasure is cursed, it came into being through the first of the Seven, and the curse lingers on. Thorin is the most susceptible to it, but it easily can destroy all three of them. Do not trust the Arkenstone. And lastly... one of your brothers, your true brothers lives in the heights of the Reach. The people of the Reach saved him from the lava and he has been living in the labyrinth of peak ever since. If no one will tell you, find Dari's nephew Fion... he probably can help you find him."
Kizár
Kizár listens hard to Kíli's words, committing them to heart. Do not let the dragon fly, fight him where he cannot cause harm to people. A curse threatening her family... and a brother of her first family lives. The last one reminds her of her dreams, and she begins to suspect who he refers to, but gently pushes the thought aside. She has to reach the mountain first.
"Thank you, Fire-Brother." She gives him a warm smile. "Knowing this much, I feel more confident of our journey. I hope you will be well, you and your child." Already she can feel the threads starting to pull her home, and for a moment turns her attention inwards, looking at the dark cloak around her Other, seeing it linked to a deep soul bond. For a moment she sees another bond, bright and alive as well, but Fate's pull on her gets stronger and she only has a moment left. "Love you, Kíli." Is all she can say before the worlds shift around her and she feels Dwalin's hand around her stoneform again.
Kíli
Kíli's world is blurry, like a dream, mists hovering over the hills by a lake. A lake he knows... a vague childhood memory of this place is lodged somewhere in his mind. He is not alone, opposite of him stands another dwarf. Himself. Only darker, harder, with eyes as hard as diamonds of the deep. "And so it begins." the other one says, raising his hand. "do not come closer - you cannot reach me. You are I and we... we are the last, the last in a line of failures. What we failed at cannot be undone in one lifetime, not in many. And you do not look like a particularly auspicious beginning either. Others know, and they'd rather see us dead, because even as failures we have a knack to disrupt the world quite a bit. They will see you dead - you and your family. The death of Durin's true line would be convenient in their shapings of the world."
Kíli shivered, as the mists passed over the lake, revealing a field of corpses, his own dead body amongst the fallen. "Who are you?" he snapped. "What do you want? We are not dead yet?"
The darker dwarf laughed, a harsh sound devoid of humor. "I tell you the truth, little brother."
And suddenly Kíli feels the warmth again, his sister's presence and he reaches out for her, as the lake blurs and he is again with her and Dwalin behind the house of Beorn.
Kizár
Her mind clearing of visions, Kizár turns her attention outwards, Her stoneform now sits back on the pile of clothing, set there, she guesses, only in the last few moments. Dwalin is already working to dress the cleaned wounds, and Kíli is starting to move just a little.
She calls back her ghost-form, which had apparently vanished in between burning the wounds and getting drawn into visions. "Kíli?" She speaks softly, running fingers through his hair. "I found out some of what is happening, and some advice for this quest."
Kíli
Kíli reaches for her, glad she is with them again. Dwalin is still fussing over the shoulder, which was left much better, in spite of the pain. "Kizár... we were, separated for moment." he says. "are you... are you alright? At least you heard something useful..."
Kizár
"I was drawn to another life." Kizár answers, letting Kíli draw her into his arms. "I talked to... you, who you might have become if things went differently. He told me quite a bit." She takes a breath before speaking again. "The dreams, they are not something to fear. They are memories of other lives, before this one. You have been reborn, several times, though not all of them pleasant. As for the quest... that dragon can be defeated, but we have to keep it from flying out of the mountain. Also... there is a curse on the treasure, and the Arkenstone is likely dangerous." She pauses again. "There might be people still in the Reach. He said to hunt down your cousin, Fion, and..."
Kíli
Kíli's mind reels as he tries to take all that in. Reborn? His soul should be reborn? Like Durin himself? It seems unlikely, but then, maybe Mahal chose more than one dwarrow to walk the world again. It would make sense. And the treasure... that comes as less a surprise, considering that a dragon is involved. But the last words get his attention. "Find Fion and... who?" he asks, seeing that his sister is suddenly hesitating.
Kizár
"He said-" There's a small hiccup in Kizár's voice, her emotions are so strong about this. "One of my brothers, from my first family, lives and is hidden in the Reach. Given what he said, I believe it is Rú, that he somehow survived the Deep Fires." She feels somewhere stuck between laughing and crying. "He's not the only one... my sister is out there, somewhere. I could feel the bond with her, awake and bright in my other self."
Kíli
Not caring for his arm still hurting Kíli sweeps Kizár into a fierce hug. "There's the first good reason to go to that blasted mountain," he says. "to find your brother. If he is still there, he maybe knows a few things about Smaug the Always Hungry which we can use to fight him."
Kizár
"He will." Kizár nods, smiling. "He fought dragons in the First Age. I remember hearing about it and cheering to know he was fighting against the Dark." She thinks on another bit of the other Kíli's advice. "I doubt he can use a bow though, he lost a hand at one point. Your other self said we would need a good archer against Smaug, but any help to keep the dragon busy is likely useful."
Kíli
"He lost one hand?" Suddenly Kíli's eyes go wide, and he stares at Kizár awed. While Kíli is still in the beginning of the arcane arts, he is already using his talent and... of course he knows of the great crafters. There is no arcane smith who does not know the story of Fëanor and his sons - and there is no arcane smith who would not sell his soul for even a glimpse at their secrets. "Your brother... your brother is Maitimo?" he asks, using the proper Quenya name.
Kizár
Kizár nods, a blush creeping onto her face. "'Rú' is short for Russandol, a nickname he got given by Pityo, which I still find funny because both of the twins had Mother's hair colour as well..." She lets out a gusty sigh. "I knew he was being held captive, but was kept well away, even to the extent of arcane wards being laid around his cell so my sisters could not reach it while our spirits wandered..."
Kíli
Kíli gently cups her ghostly cheek with his hand. "Three sisters... three sisters to the seven brothers..." he says softly and there is a warm sparkle in his eyes. "why do I have the feeling the elves left all the important parts out of the story?" He is still awed by what he realized, even more so that they will have to keep it a secret.
Kizár
"Because all the history books we ever found were written by Sindar." Kizár says, her smile taking on a fondness as she concludes what has brought that wonder to Kíli's eyes. "It is one of the reasons I am less than trustful of their kind."
Kíli
"Then we will be extra careful when we cross Mirkwood." Kíli replies, straightening up. "Make sure they do not realise... not that it is likely, they recognize you in the obsidian stone of a dwarf, but who knows?" He takes her hands between his. "I will not let anything happen to you... and we'll find your brother, Kizár. I promise."
Kizár
"As long as I don't lose you in the process, Kíli." Kizár says, sitting up as well. "I would like to have both my old and new family, not losing any before they are old and grey." A look crosses her face, somewhere between thoughtful and mischievous. "Besides, if there is one thing of your other self's life I would like to see eventually happen, it is you, pregnant with a son of your own." Though she teases with that little tidbit, she would love to one day see Kíli happily bonded, with his own family.
Kíli
"He seems to have been nicer than the one I met," Kili replied. "The ME I meet was dark... hard, cynic. He said we all had failed, our entire line... and that there still were people happy to send us all to an early grave. I do not know what happened to him, but I could sense he spoke the truth... after a fashion."
Kizár
"There is nothing we can do for that life, but we can fight for this one, keep it from failing like he says." Kizár leans in, forehead to forehead. "I will not let this quest fail. Our family will survive and I will fight to beat whatever curse lies ahead to see that happens." She speaks with a determined tone in her voice. "We will have our happy future, no matter what anyone tries to do."
Kíli
Smiling Kíli' is amazed by her transformation, in this moment she is bright and strong like a star. He does not know what lies ahead, what will await them beyond the woodlands and wastelands. But right now he truly wants to go there and to make sure his sister finds her family again.