Ram Djemal · @brokenshard
17th Jun 2014 from TwitLonger
Blog post about what happened
A lot of people have been talking to me about what was going on. Asking me why things wen't so horribly wrong and what I was going to do next. I've decided to write this post to shed some light on everything and try to give you guys some answers.
To start it all off, I want to say thank you to everyone who's shown their support and lent their kind words to me. It really is inspirational to see the community show so much love for something that honestly destroyed my spirit.
A lot of people ask me "how are you?" and honestly I'm not sure how to describe it. Imagine a bubble of joy and accomplishment growing inside of you suddenly pops. You feel like you're left with nothing inside. Working my way from the bottom up to LCS and suddenly I have nothing to show for it. No team, no salary, nothing. Hell, half my stuff is still at the COL house and I won't have access to it for a while (shipping is a bitch). I feel like I have nothing left to show for all the hard work and dedication I put into trying to qualify and honestly that brings me down to levels of depression that I haven't visited in a very long time.
What basically happened... its kind of hard to explain. I was in contact with the lawyer that RIOT had appointed to take care of the visa, and in the beginning everything went well. COL did everything they could and provided all the information, we filled out all the necessary paperwork together and sent it all to the lawyer to file and prepare to send a case. From what I understood, when we sent the case 1 week before LCS started, by the time I went to Israel we should have received an answer from the USCIS and we would be able to begin preparations for my P-1 visa interview at the Us consulat here in israel, which would take no longer than a week to arrange and get done. What actually happened was when I arrived in Israel, I didn't have an answer from the USCIS yet. There were apparently 'delays' in their processing. It wasn't supposed to take this long to receive an answer. I knew that something was going to go wrong. When we finally did receive the answer, it wasn't anything short of what I expected. The USCIS had sent the application back and requested "additional evidence." I don't know exactly WHAT was required, but I think it was to identify and confirm the eligibility of myself being in a position to receive the P-1 visa, which didn't make sense to me since so many others before me had done it (LMQ, EG, Dexter, Bjergsen, Shiphtur). Why was mine having so many issues? Unfortunately I didn't get an answer to that. I was told that after we were able to compile the evidence necessary, we would resend the application which would take another 2-3 weeks before we could receive any answer. Obviously this made me so unbelievably angry you have no idea. I just KNEW something would fuck up. because why not right? Something ALWAYS has to go wrong with me in the picture. Its not like anything could be so easy. Whatever. Delays. Delays. I kept in contact with my manager and tried to keep in contact with the lawyer at RIOT constantly inquiring about the status of it. Eventually he was able to compile all the necessary information and resend the application. I was told that it would be AT LEAST 2 weeks, which is what I communicated to my team manager and teammates. 3 days later I get a message from pr0lly on skype. "Hey man, have you talked to the lawyer recently about your visa?" My heart sank. I had been messaging the lawyer for updates regarding the visa situation and asking for any updates he could be able to give me, but since telling me that things have been ready to be sent I had not received any messages from him. I instantly messaged my manager on skype and asked him what was going on, while having a conversation with pr0lly about what was going on. Pr0lly told me that the lawyer told the team that it would take 4 weeks to get my visa done. Basically saying that it wouldn't be until week 9 that I would receive access back into the united states. And we all know what happened next.
This is getting very emotional for me to write. Basically just wanted to shed light on the situation. When things die down on my end for a bit I might heavily consider doing an AMA (hurr durr ama again kappa) to answer all specific questions.
Whats next for Brokenshard? If I knew the answer I wish I could tell you. But right now life kind of sucks. I don't know what I want to do just yet, or where I want to go. But I want you all to know that your words have made me heavily question whether I should retire or not.
Thanks again all of you for the continued support. I love you all.
I'll update you as things continue to unfold.