For anyone concerned with interaction/fanbase matters:
I want to start by saying that there are a lot of really positive people out there. It may seem like I don't always see you but I like to think that I do.
As far as yesterday is concerned, the last thing I'd want anyone to feel is that I have a general perception of you all as overwhelmingly negative. That is not the case. In an effort to try and help people understand certain things, as a communicator, sometimes it is easier to deal with something when it is directly brought to you, maybe by someone that is confused. People that communicate and connect with each other have a strong desire to be understood. It was heartbreaking to see positive and supportive people take some sort of burden of guilt on themselves. You are better than that- and if you are someone that spreads positivity and love then you should know who you are and take ownership of that, because it is no easy feat.
But it had occured to me, that maybe there are some things about me you'd rather not understand. Not only do I fully appreciate that, I completely understand and respect it- in some ways I yearn for it.
I always had my work to speak for me, and when that was gone, this was the only thing I had. You'd rather hear music and see art, and I'd rather be making it.
The seperation between myself and information MCR related is not a separation of myself from the very thing which I helped create with everyone. It would be untrue to myself and what I feel, to disregard something I am so proud of and like to look back upon. And all of the related art, memories, and sentiments having to do with that special thing are, as always, more than welcome.
But a seperation between myself, and the gorey details of the goings-on needs to happen.
It has been a very enlightening and fun year, as I mentioned in a previous twitlonger. In a year that should have been 100% brutal, I feel like we found moments where we could laugh as well as mourn. That's a really special thing. But it has been painfully obvious in recent months, that not only do I not posess all of the information required to keep this up, I do not posess the fortitude. It has never been my thing to explain, though this year I feel like I've done that quite a bit. And that is surely being untruthful to myself.
I'd like to think I tried things differently, to try and connect in a way that maybe all of us weren't used to, and may appreciate. I acomplished that. And I do feel most people have appreciated this. But aside from how I may feel about yesterday, with that situation completely removed, I began to feel like it was my job to perform on here, and this is not my arena. I also feel that it is time to seperate, at least for the time being, from the notion of following people that I have met through my @ replies. I don't know if this will ever change back, and this is not a punishment but a much healthier usage of this platform. This is something I came to the conclusion on months ago, though I kept fighting with myself over it, going back and forth.
To anyone that was in my timeline, I had a lot of fun and learned a lot of things, but in some ways it started to feel like exclusion, and that is never something I was a fan of. I may follow people in this way again, because it is my account of course, and it may even happen tomorrow, but at this moment the bulk of this type of interaction needs to come to an end. Please don't take any of this personal.
Even this much explaining doesn't suit me, but I feel that it is a position I have put myself in, and I'd like to go back to what I'm good at. So again, moving toward the future and changing, it is what I will do.
Thanks for listening/reading and I will see you all out here, out there, wherever we end up,