This is my first recap, right after the Winstar Concert. I was so drunk on Adam, not even sure what I wrote. There will be more soon.

Oh, bbs. Oh my heart. You have no idea. I'm crying while I write this. I just don't know how I'm gonna explain this, and at the same time I feel like I could write a book about this. About Adam. The gloriousness, the awesomeness, the beauty, the poetry, the light, everything that makes Adam who he is.

You know when we say he's not real? It's the opposite. He's the most REAL person I've ever seen, if that makes sense. It's like he can't help being who he is. It just comes naturally to him. But it shouldn't, because what he is seems IMPOSSIBLE. No one can be that masculine, with all the maleness, that strenght, that commanding figure. It's like he's everything a MAN is supposed to be. And his body, OMG, I could write sonets about that body. Anyway, I'm losing my focus here. What I'm saying is that he has that force that says: you will trust me and do what I say, because I know just what I'm doing. And at the same time, the way he moves, the way he dances, the way he laughs and throws his head back, the way his hand moves, it has a grace, a lightness, a fluidity that could be described as feminine as well. It shouldn't be possible, but is is. And it's that apparent contradiction that makes him so unique, and so fascinating, and SO FUCKING SEXY. He shouldn't exist, and yet he exists.

The same could be said about his voice. I mean, he's pure rock'n'roll. He has a pulse, a rhythm, a strenght, an agressiveness, that's essential rock'n'roll maleness. When he goes down, you feel it in your soul (and other parts as well!). It's so visceral, so true, so HIM. And then, when he goes up, he's like this angel, this cherubin, just flying high, so high you'll never be able to reach him, and yet you do. Your ears pick up and you're up there with him, drinking in his beauty, his light, his poetry...

It's not that he's too perfect. I mean, he is, but that's not the point. The point is: it's efortless to him. He just can't help being this perfect creature, this man that can command crowds wih a simple movement, and yet laughs and makes jokes like a little boy. This man that rolls his body like he's ready to make you scream, and then laughs it off because he's like your best friend, and really, you should know better.

Bbs, I was right in front of him the whole time. I could touch him if the security guys would let me. I almost did. But he looked at me many, many times, and he gestured with the mike to me and my friends to sing (in PTL), and he danced in front of me (in LMD), and it was GLORIOUS. Sometimes I would just be quiet and take it all in. Sometimes I would scream like a lunatic. Sometimes I just stared at him and thought, no one can be that beautiful, it should not be allowed. And then, when he sang Chokehold, I just started to cry. No, not cry, sob like a baby. Then this German girl I had just met (an Adam virgin like myself) held me in her arms while I cried so more. And then we hugged. And it was OK. And the he was singing Mad World like it was a totally new song, and everytning was right with the world.

I will get back here to tell you the whole story when I can. For now, just know that I'm so grateful to be alive, and to be here, and to have done everything I had to do to get to this moment. Love you guys. See you soon.

Reply · Report Post