Three characters might be enough to sum up everything going through my head right now but I'm gotta do what I do and vomit over my keyboard hoping for feelings to come out with the rest of the gloop.
As I was filming this last scene, I could not help but feel a deep sadness for what was to come. It was inevitable after all, of course it was, Kevin Tran advanced placement of Neighbor Michigan was supposed to die a less than heroic death by the end of Supernatural's 7th season. Sam and Dean would take a moment to sigh in regret and then move on as they should and we would have done the same. This show was supposed to be nothing to me... but it became everything.
It's weird to stop and think just how far Kevin has come since I first met him and how much he's been able to accomplish in such a short time. He's lost everything and everyone he's ever known, forced to run and hide and at such a young age, you kinda wonder how else he was ever gonna rest in peace.
They said every prophet was supposed to have an archangel tethered to them for divine intervention should there be danger. Chuck had Raphael to protect him from Lilith but by the time Kevin had become the prophet, the arch angels were either dead or locked away. I like to think that the SPNFamily had been Kevin's angels all along and the biggest reason for his survival. I thank you for that. These thoughts were swimming through my head as I lay there on the floor in darkness.
I had prosthetics on my eyes so I couldn't see, nor could my eyes be seen. That was for the best because it was in those moments that I said my farewells. To the studio, the houseboat, the Men of Letters bunker where I spent so much time. To craft services, the caterers, and the candy tray, where I spent even more time. To the faces I've gotten so used to seeing over the last two years, I had to say "see ya later" because I just couldn't bring myself to say goodbye, all the while hoping that the glue holding my eye pieces in place weren't in jeopardy of dissolving.
It's been an amazing ride and though I knew it was coming, it's still this strange sensation that I can't quite readily describe in this mindset. I've met so many wonderful people and I've made so many memories I'll cherish for a lifetime.. but it's that time where I say my thanks and take that last step into the fandom and let that world envelop me as I continue to support the show and the fans that have changed my life. Thank you for everything you've done, everything you're doing, and everything you continue to do. Thank you.
And yes, I do think #KevinLives. In all of our hearts :)