1000 word Novel Report:

Just started typing Chapter 8 at around the 45k mark. After 40k things start ‘rolling along’, as Ian McEwan puts it. The hardest work is done. The month of June has seen me up my game by writing seven times faster than usual. The beginning feels old by now. Reading snippets from previous chapters reminds me of just how self-defining this pivotal work is. As a self-taught writer I suppose I couldn’t be any cheerier with the way my skills have developed. Not bad for a hobbyist. The aim is to compete with the very best books out there (you are only as good as those you ingest). This is hardly a problem seen as though they publish any old bollocks these days. Ever wondered why virtually every book on the shelves is a number 1 bestseller? How can they all be number 1 bestsellers? Joking aside, there are some very good plot devisers out there. Not so many lyricists though. At least not on the supermarket shelves anyway.

I’ve been anxious about scrapping the 1st chapter because of the 300 day gap between it and chapter 2. A good story should start from where they tell you it should start. Well, up theirs. The only rule in creative writing is to start in the top left hand corner of the page, far as I’m concerned. My aim was always to ‘fall into’ something special, not start off strong and lose momentum.

I ran into trouble writing Exploitation in 2004 (formerly Exhausturbation) near the 50k word mark, and subsequently hauled everything in for a sudden untimely finish. That book should have been at least as big as Slithering Lake in 2003 at 83k. The way I did it was fun and wacky in unforeseen ways and it’s great to have reeled one in that almost never got finished at all (it’s the wild black sheep of the family) but in order to get over the failure to finish it properly, apart from going back to it one day, I feel obliged to take Escaping Hazel into lengthier waters of maybe 60k+. I’ll not pump it up like some poor xmas turkey, however, touch wood.

But I do by chance have a new direction for the story*. This could mean another god knows how long. The key is to forget ever finishing it. I’ve long accepted that this could well be my last. I’m writing it as if it is. Most of us would cherish a long happy life spitting out classics every one or two years, maybe a lot quicker if 50 million readers were waiting, but there are no guarantees. Doubt the next one if there is one won’t be a poetic masterclass exhibition like this. This is peak boom time.

I’ve just introduced a police officer into the story, in a reference to Wrong Turn (2003). He dips in and out but has a big impact. I’ve also just introduced a moment of absurd hilarity, the only true long laugh in the book so far. Next is a dash of violent action, then the fallout afterwards. Cue new direction.

*Harlem Coben quoted something like this: It’s like driving in the fog with dipped headlights. You only see a little in front of you, but you can make the whole journey this way.

NOVEL CHAPTER TITLES:

Preamble
Crystal Vellow
Under a Gothic Moon
Bank Hollow
Ethel Franklyn
Sinkhole
PC Storm/Officer Dimes
Escaping Hazel/Coma Station
Summoning Hazel/Break ‘n’ Enter
Hazel Fever/The End

There’ll be no list of chapters in the front matter as sometimes this looks like the technical index of a text book. The name of each chapter will be a surprise as you make your way through. Chapter pages will have a greyscale graphic. Each chapter is roughly 6500 words in length. Seven are complete. Ten chapters would be a happy round figure. The last four chapter name ideas on the list are not finalised yet. By the time you read the book (big if), you’ll have forgotten these titles, so think of this as a spoiler-free trailer. After seeing a film called ‘Waking Madison’, the novel name ‘Escaping Hazel’ was called into doubt. Was it a common cliché title? Would the title have to change to Crystal Vellow? In the end, no, but Crystal Vellow would have made a worthy substitution. Names of places make neat titles. My only example: Slithering Lake. Changing titles is the equivalent of changing your child’s name. Only two have been changed on my watch, Exhausturbation to Exploitation and Kixter into Kickers. The only reason is because the originals were made-up words. Can’t expect someone to buy and read a book with the title of a made-up word. For example: Slobbygobbydushdonk: The Return of Nuttybuttygoshshonk. Interested?

I like the idea of the main title reappearing as a subtitle. You see that from time to time. Usually at the end. I like ends. The end is everything, unless you have a standout scene. If the standout scene is the end, all the better. You need one or the other. Both if poss. If you don’t, you should think about it.

*** Just had 73 days off. Not a single word. Decided to start winging it by the seat of my pants, which means typing straight into the machine. Sitting down somewhere with my precious mini manuscript to fill in all those tiny hand-drawn lines with my black Bic Fine pen in is too ritualistic. Pounding keys at the computer chair is damn more comfortable than being hunched over any table with your nose only inches above the paper. Plus, it’s nice not knowing what’s about to come out. After 3 consecutive days back on, I’ve bumped up the tally by over 2000 words. 50k border breached. Repeat, 50k border breached. The race to 60k is literally just that: my characters are presently running through a sewer.

Just had another month or so off, but back on the job with a cool 1ooo comeback words overnight. Also worked out how to include several alternate endings into one.

Thanks for reading, and till next time, keep reading.
(any typos are not mine)

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