if you ever feel depressed because of the hates you get or your insecurities or socializing fears, this "rant" is for you okay.
so, i suffer those stuff that are mentioned above. i'm a curious person. i really want to know the stuff people say about me and think about me. i thought that it would help me get improve and blah blah blah. but as time passes, all these criticism and hates only bring me down. like, when someone pin points my insecurities, i feel so depressed and i imagine myself looking at a mirror and just name EVERY SINGLE FLAW i have and cry because no one would ever accept me and live with my 24 cats and 18 dead mice on my house.
i hate public speaking because people would look at me and i could feel them staring down at me until i melt. i hate talking to people face-to-face because i don't like eye contact because it makes me so uncomfortable.
but guess, what? recently, i found something that helped me boost my self-esteem slowly. gradually, i started to not care about all these criticism, and i'm sort of okay with going in front of the class to present (lol not really i still hate getting up from my chair), and yeah.
the usual "don't care what people think about you because it's your life and you can do anything you want with it" DOESN'T WORK FOR ME OKAY IT NEVER HELPED ME I TRIED LISTENING TO THIS QUOTE BUT IT NEVER HELPS.
so, i made up my own quote that helped me survive this.
why should you be insecure about yourself? why should you even be scared of speaking in front of people? it's all self-obsession. we should stop that. don't let hates affect you and have them get the satisfaction alright.
here, listen to this. NO ONE IN THE WORLD HAS SLEEPLESS NIGHTS THINKING ABOUT YOUR INSECURITIES ALRIGHT. NO ONE STAYS UP UNTIL 5 AM THINKING ABOUT HOW AWKWARD YOUR NOSE IS OR HOW ROUND YOUR STOMACH IS. NO ONE IS GOING TO WRITE AN ENTIRE ESSAY ABOUT HOW YOUR PIMPLES FORM THE SHAPE OF MICKEY MOUSE'S EARS. NO. ONE. ALRIGHT.
SO, IF YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE ARE PLOTTING ON "EXPOSING" YOUR INSECURITIES, SOMEHOW, TO OTHER PEOPLE, THEN YOU'RE JUST SELF-OBSESSED. DON'T BE. WE ALL ARE ALRIGHT. WE JUST HAVE TO STOP AND THINK THAT SOCIETY ISN'T AS BAD AS OUR MINDS MAKE THEM OUT TO BE.
so eat that pizza if it looks good. bite that dry skin off your lips if it's annoying. don't stop sneezing in front of all the people in your class. trip on that trash bin. BECAUSE IN THE END, NO ONE WOULD CARE. ALRIGHT. NO ONE'S GOING TO STAY PAST THEIR BEDTIME THINKING "OH THAT CHRIS MONKEY SNEEZES LIKE A PANDA ON COCAINE" OR "OH WHEN THAT CHRIS WALRUS RUNS, HIS STOMACH AND LEG FLABS IS CREATING A SOON-TO-BE HIT JUSTIN BIEBER SONG". NO. ONE.
OKAY WELL THIS TWITLONGER ISN'T EVEN MAKING ANY SENSE AND I'M HUNGRY.
SO NEXT TIME YOU GET SO INSECURE OF PEOPLE LOOKING AT YOU, REMEMBER WHAT I SAID, BECAUSE IN THE END, IT'S JUST EVERYTHING IN YOUR HEAD ALRIGHT.
BYE

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