admin's resignation letters.

- bomi -

this is hard, this is extremely hard. but it has to be done. first up, i really want to thank every single one of you for being apart of this family. i don't care if you were here since start, or if you're a new member, i still love you.
let's see... six months. ahah, we really came a long way, didn't we? we've been through hell and back, but we never gave up. we stuck together as a family and went through so much. i think now's a good time to take a trip down memory lane.
back in early january, sismie, twinsie, yoong unnie and i were in an rp together, but that rp was dying so twinsie brought up the idea of starting a new rp. and really, that's how graffiti was founded. we started out small. i remember when the tl used to be so quiet. not necessarily dead, but with only a few members back then, it was somewhat...peaceful.
but of course, our family started expanding. pretty soon, we became one of the largest rps out there. that was the time when the tl was hardly dead, and honestly, it made me so happy as an admin. i felt this sense of...achievement, as weird as it sounds.
and as time went by, i met amazing people whom i'll probably never be able to forget for the rest of my life even if i tried to. (not that i would want to forget any of you, you're all precious to me.)
but with life, there's always ups and downs. the joongki drama happened, and the next day, our aff account got deleted. but did we give up? of course not. within a day, astaga was created. tbh, i don't know if most of you know this, but you guys are the reason that us admins have been working our butts off for this family until now. whenever we were faced with an obstacle, we never backed down, knowing that you guys were counting on us. but it was never a burden for us, everything we've done for this rp up till this point was done because we wanted to do it, not because we felt obliged to. i think i can speak for all the admins when i say this.
astaga was all happy happy joy joy for awhile, but stuff happens, and things change. i guess everyone got a little too busy with school and everything. it's understandable, i was really inactive myself, at one point. and a lot of the old members were saying stuff like ast just isn't the same as it used to be, and that fact made them sad. and tbvh, i felt it too. whenever i went on, i'd start to feel...sad, idek, because so much has changed. change is inevitable, i tell that to people all the time, but it doesn't make it any easier for us to adapt to change. and sometimes, we don't even want to adapt. we just want things to go back to how they used to be. when everything was perfect. okay, i'm blabbering right now, i should really get to the point.
and the point is, us admins couldn't stand seeing the rp dead anymore. so we revamped, for the second time. we went back to the name "graffiti rp" and we did a massive move and only brought with us members that truly wanted to stay. but it's been over a week since we moved, and nothing has changed. the tl is still as dead as before. the admins have been wrecking our brains, thinking of stuff we could do to make y'all active again -- we even came up with this super kickass event for our sixth monthsary, but in end decided not to go through with it since it would've failed anyway. i mean, how can an event possibly succeed if no one turns up for it? we can't even seem to get new members. for some reason, those people who reserved on aff never showed up. it's like we were cursed to be dead or something.
and now, we're done trying. us admins have honestly done all that we can, but nothing seems to work. i guess everyone's just getting too caught up in their real lives for rping. it's either that, or graf just isn't your first priority anymore -- not that i can blame you guys for that.
long story short, we're closing graf down. it's sad, yeah, but we have to move on. we can't keep trying to hold onto something and wishing that a miracle will happen. life doesn't work that way (unfortunately). but that doesn't mean graf is gone. i mean, most of us are still here, and will continue to be here. you could still choose to come back everyday if you wanted to. i know that i'll still definitely use my account. my ast account is basically my pa now anyways. heh.
i love you guys, i honestly do. thanks for all the memories. the past six months for me were filled with laughs, tears, screams, sighs, and many other things that my limited vocabulary won't allow me to express, but i want you guys to know that i wouldn't have wanted it any other way.
graffiti/astaga was, is, and always will be family to me.
and lastly, i'm sorry.
i guess i'll see you when i see you? hah. idek.
love,
bomz.



- naeun -
How do I even start this tbh. orz.

Six months. Wow. Pretty long, eh? Throughout those months, sure, things weren’t always rainbows and sparkles. We have been through really rough waters at some points but we never gave up. We all stuck together and looking back now, that fact makes my heart swell. ; u ; (wow I was gunna make this letter emoticonless but eh, what the heck.)

Throughout the six months, I’ve loved and I’ve lost. I lost many many friends that are close to my heart, I’ve grown apart from people and also lost the love I thought would last forever. Not only that though, I also reunited with long lost friends I met long ago. Most importantly, I’ve gained friends whom I know my friendship with would last.

When we started graf, we really did put our everything into it. We even quit all of our roleplays just to focus on this. Like sismie said, we started out as a small family the tl was always peaceful and we weren’t really known like we are now. Then more and more people came, of course that’s when things started to become better and we were at the peak of our success. The tl would always be crazy and people liked it here. That lasted for quite some time, then I guess people started to become busy, or maybe found a new roleplay to call home. . . And that’s when things started to go downhill. I’m glad that quite a number of people stuck with us though, because without those people we wouldn’t have been able to keep going.

You guys are the main reason why we wanted to work hard, why we wanted to keep going despite the drama and crap that were thrown at us. All those hard work we put in and those nights when we would stay up till God knows when just to plan something out for the rp. . . No we don’t regret it. And never we will regret it, because honestly, it was all damn worth it.

But then it got to the point when we just can’t do anything anymore, and we don’t know what the hell are we supposed to do just to keep this roleplay alive. The aura wasn’t the same, and the tl would always be gloomy. That was the period when I just didn’t even wanna log in to my account because I’d always get sad; and I was going through a tough time so seeing the tl didn’t really help me. I admit I felt selfish and I hated myself because I chose to not do anything and just continued being a depressed little shit. Not long after astaga opened, it became dead. The tl would always be quiet and lonely. And to be honest, I can't recall how many times I cried because I knew that everything isn’t going to go back to the way it was. All I wanted was to take a time machine back into the past and just re-live everything, back when we were all happy and freely smiling.

I guess it’s safe to say that we’ve done everything we could, we moved roleplays, we revamped but nothing seemed to work and we just can’t keep going any longer so we came into conclusion of closing graffiti. The decision was damn hard and trust me, none of us want to let go and we hate to do this but it has to be done.

I’m the type of person who hates goodbyes, I hate it. No goodbyes, no tears. It’s always hard lt go of things that are close to people’s hearts. Sometimes though, no matter how tough it is. . . letting go is the best thing to do. But this isn’t necessarily goodbye, you can choose to say goodbye or keep graffiti/astaga alive in your hearts forever and let the memories remain.

Lastly, I just want to say how much I love you all. Every single one of you who’s a part of this roleplay and also those who’s ever been a part of us. I honestly do love you guys and I can’t thank you all enough for joining us. Without you guys, the rp wouldn’t have existed.

I know you guys will meet me again at one point or another. raughs. the rp world is small.

dont you dare forget me, guise. ; n ;
But for now, I bid us farewell. ♥

Lots of love,
Naeun/Aiyu. (( sobs. forever graf’s dum fuk. ))


- jae -

January 26th is a day I will never forget. It was the first day I joined graffitirp, the day I became a part of something so wonderful. Just on the first day, I was accepted with open arms and made great friends that have stuck with me till this day. I met many, many amazing people, people that have left deep marks on my heart, people that made me laugh so hard while I was in class or in public, and people that made me cry manly tears in both joy and sadness. Honestly, I really don't know how to say goodbye, this is too hard, but it has to be done.

Graffiti Roleplay will forever be my home, but it seems my family is missing. The timeline is always empty and dead, and it isn't ever active without an admin there. We've done all we could honestly, we dedicated so much time and effort into this roleplay - pulling all-nighters, skipping homework, quitting all our other roleplays - just to make sure our attention was always on graf. However I'm not complaining, honestly, if I could, I would go back and do it all over again. I'm so thankful to this rp, and the people in it.

I still can't seem to wrap my mind around it, I can't seem to say goodbye, but I have to. We need to move on. After all, everything happens for a reason right? Maybe we'll meet again, no, I'm sure we'll meet again.

All I can say now is, Thank You. Thanks for accepting me - even if i constantly embarrass myself while I spam nonsense, even if I fan-boy to the extreme over CL, Zayn, and of course, the queen - Beyonce, and even if I can be extremely annoying, depressed and/or clingy - thank you for accepting me.

To all the members of this family, I love you and I hope I meant something to you in your lives, as you still do in mine. As Beyonce says, " I've done everything that I wanted, and it was more than I thought it would be. I will leave my mark so everyone will know, I was here. "

I'm going to miss you all so damn much, and I leave here with no regrets. You guys mean the world to me.

And with that, I end my journey here.

Hope to see you again soon,

Kim Jaejoong.

/casually plays Beyonce's ' I Was Here ' in the bg.


- Yue -

Some of us believe in the concept of forever, while others reject it with a cold heart. I, for one, am one of the latter. We ask ourselves; things are going to stay like this forever right? Undeniably and inexplicably, the answer is no, not at all. It is not a feeling of pessimism or negativity, but rather-- accepting the cruel fate that we don't wish to believe is true. Is it wrong to think this way? Not at all. But as always, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and this is my own that I'd like to put on display.

It must be weird for you all to read through this, huh? I know that many of you don't take what I say seriously most of the time, and tend to brush it off with a laugh or giggle, but we all have those sides to us that we bury within ourselves, and this-- this is mine.

Odd isn't it? I bet none of you would have ever thought to see this well-hidden persona of mine. It's one of my demons I must say, for I've been told I have the superb power of rendering tears in eyes.

Despite not being an admin for long, i feel as if it is my duty to relay the message of how important the roleplay is to not just myself, but the entirety of those who have come and go, as well as the other admins. They, being IU, Jaejoong, and Bomi, have breathed their soul and poured their heart into this directory. This directory that may seem just like any other to some, but one of a kind to us; to me. Biased, you say? Absolutely. But who isn't?

I know many of you are probably thinking about how many times I've left the roleplay, hm? To be honest with myself; yes, i did leave, but I always managed to find myself coming back to this damned place, no matter how long of a period I've disappeared for. A feeling of defeat? Not necessarily. I did not come back for the love interests or romanticism or any of the sort. If anything, those aspects were the exact reason I felt an absence was needed. Depression and sorrow fills our bodies differently, and if you haven't noticed, I for one manage to let myself hang hopelessly in a slum before I can get back on my own two feet.

We are all different. We think differently. We function differently. And that is what makes the world go round.

I've learned over the years that change is inevitable, and unfortunately, the possibility of a negative change is apart of the question. As the French say; c'est la vie, or, that's just life. We must accept our fate that many of us have foreseen with a clear mind. Be honest with yourselves; have you ever seen a roleplay last? If the answer is yes, I'd suggest you stop lying to yourself.

Don't say that they didn't try. Don't say that they are just letting go of graffiti for their own selfish ways. If anything, don't even think of it or prepare a breath to curse them. They have sacrificed enough of their time of day to make sure the roleplay runs as sufficiently as possible, to make sure that we didn't just die without any last words.

I apologize for the uneasy flow and choppy thoughts of this letter. But as the writers say, you write what you feel, and these are my exact short trains of thought. If I possessed a better grip on the matter and myself, this letter wouldn't be such a sight for sore eyes.

Feelings come and go. Friends come and go. This is the end, but let us see to it with a bright smile and light heart, yes?

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