My feelings about Katherine Jackson - AEG trial. I rarely post something that's about emotions and personal. Given the latest heated discussions among the fans I decided to write this.

For me the criminal trial of Conrad Murray was about justice but it wasn't easy on any of us. I remember being physically ill the first night of the trial after seeing Michael's hospital photo. I remember at the end feeling spent and emotionally lost. I only later during MJJC Q&A found peace and closure when Dr. Shafer multiple times assured us that Michael did not suffer. It was also his encouragement to set Michael's death aside and celebrate him, made me want to start the healing process.

This is why I'm so emotionally dreading the upcoming Katherine - AEG trial. It's just the rehash of the same stuff. I can't help myself to ask "at what cost?" and "to achieve what?".

For some people a civil trial that can only end in monetary payments will be considered justice. I'm not in that group. To me money doesn't equal justice - not $1 and not even $100 Trillion.

Some people want this trial because they want to find answers to Michael's "murder". What they don't know is that this is now just a contract lawsuit. In this lawsuit Katherine claims Michael died due to Murray's negligence and AEG shares responsibility because they hired Murray. That's it.

Fraud claim is dismissed because there was no evidence. Conspiracy claim is dismissed because there was no evidence. Judge ruled there's nothing wrong in AEG wanting Michael to show up to rehearsals. Judge ruled financial pressure doesn't mean AEG controlled Michael. Even Katherine admitted that Michael was an intelligent adult that is capable of entering into contracts. Judge ruled that there's no evidence that AEG ordered or controlled Michael's medical care as he was freely seeing other doctors.

If Katherine wins this case it would only mean that AEG did not do a good job in background checks when hiring Murray. That's it. It won't prove "murder", it won't prove intent and it won't prove AEG was involved.

So that makes me ask "at what cost?". Is it really worth to go through a trial that would not only paint Michael as "raging addict" (as media recently called him) but also will trash his family? Some fans have quickly forgotten how angry they were when AEG at depositions asking Jacksons about their financial dependence on Michael or when AEG was sending questions to Michael's kids about their father's "addiction". This trial won't be pretty. I can't help but think this is a heavy price to pay just for a verdict that would at best mean "AEG should have run a credit check on Murray".

Also honestly Jackson's dropping restitution is a sore spot for me personally. No it's not about money, it's about how it would mean that Murray could never profit from his crime. I can't help but think about Goldman family at O.J. Simpson trial. How they used restitution to get control over the book O.J. wrote, how they got every cent from the TV interviews. They never let O.J to make a dime from their son, they never allowed anyone even try to deflect blame from O.J. But in our situation without restitution, there's nothing that would stop Murray from trashing Michael and profiting from Michael. This is something that I'm having a hard time with.

Finally also the $40 billion damages amount makes me question if this is really about "truth" and "justice" or if it is about money. The ridiculously high 5 times the value of AEG amount, the leaking of emails by Katherine's partner Mann, the Jackson sources talking to media about $1 billion and $500 Million settlements, make it sound like this is unfortunately all about money. Sure AEG has all the incentive in the world to settle and make this go away but if Jacksons accept a settlement then it would bring the question if this was about getting the truth out or getting the money.

Not everyone will agree with me and that's completely fine. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It's also apparent that this is a heated subject among the fans. Please remember something. Trials are fought and won in a courtroom. The decisions are made by judges and jury. Just remember that the fans expressing their opinions - whether you agree or not- have absolutely NO effect on the outcome of this trial. There's no reason to attack or hate a fan if they don't agree with you on this subject.

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