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I was still boiling internally at Captain Lecky’s remarks, but doing my best not to let it show. I intercepted the odd look of amusement here and there from the men, but met their eyes directly, with a friendly smile. It wasn’t the first time something like this had happened, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last. The only thing to do was to do my job, and do it well. No one would be laughing, once the bullets started flying.

Not that I was above fantasizing some dangerous circumstance in which I found Captain Lecky writhing in pain, which I would graciously allay, causing him to grovel and apologize for his objectionable remarks…I was trying to choose between the prospect of a musket ball embedded in his buttock, testicular torsion, and something temporarily but mortifyingly disfiguring, like Bell’s Palsy, when my eye caught a glimpse of something odd in the lineup.

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