Yesterday I almost got hit by yet another car while crossing the street. Right outside my building. I waited for the Walk light, like I always do, and I looked over my right shoulder as I crossed, like I always do at that intersection. That's the only reason I stopped in time and didn't get hit as a woman in an SUV made an illegal left turn. She went zooming right in front of me, mouthing "Sorry!" as she passed.
This has happened four or five times now since I got hit. Different intersections, but all within a few blocks. Every time it happens, I have to just stop on the sidewalk and try to collect myself before I can keep going. Right after it happens, every honking horn or other loud noise, even a bicycle tire hitting the street from the sidewalk, scares the hell out of me. I feel like oncoming cars are going to swerve and hit me in the middle of the sidewalk. It's especially bad at night. Just the headlights can bring it back. That was the last thing I saw before everything changed forever: the headlights right in my face.
My knee's as good as it's ever going to get, probably. I can walk, and most of the time the pain is tolerable. I'll probably never be able to run again, and stairs are still hard, but most of the time I can manage. But my head...
I just hate the drivers in this stupid city, and I don't know why this keeps happening to me. I see people traipsing all over the place, iPod earbuds in -- bad idea, I never did that even before I got hit -- without a care in the world. Yet I can't even make a trip to the store without everybody trying to kill me.
And that might be why, if you tell me a wacky joke about SUVs, "look both ways," etc., I might not be as good-humored about it as I should be. If so, I apologize in advance. It's been a rough couple of years.