What's a directioner?
For some Directioners are just One Direction fans
For some it's the best fandom ever
For some it's the worst
For some it's who they are
For some it's just a name
For me? Well.. It's ME. It's who I am. It's what I am. It's a reminder, a reminder that I'm part of something big. It's MY fandom. MY family.
Many girls call themselves Directioners but only a few mean it.
Being a directioner isn't about knowing every single thing about them, it's not about knowing where they are every second of every day, it's not about knowing who they're with, what they're doing...
Being a Directioner is about staying up till 2o'clock in the morning to watch their twitcams. Queuing up for hours and hours to get tickets or a signed book off them. Knowing about jimmy, kevin, carrots, spoons, mirrors, justin bieber, food, marry... Knowing what torn means to us. Crying when you hear it, smiling while reading their tweets, or when you remember something they've said. It's about loving them every second of every day.
Being a Directioner is about supporting every choice they make no matter how much it hurts you. It's about respecting the boys' girlfriends, siblings, friends and family. It's about loving them even when they mess up.
That's what a true Directioner is.
We all know a Directioner is someone whom The Boys mean everything to, EVERYTHING, they changed our life and I'm not just saying that, they really did, they gave us hope, they gave us something to hold on to. They made us laugh when we were feeling down, they pulled us up and they were always there for us through their music, their voices, their twitcams, their video diaries, their tweets, their pictures....
One Direction isn't inspiring?
Well They've inspired me so much! Louis taught me that it's okay to different and that you should live life to the fullest cause you only live once. Harry taught me that it's okay to get hurt, it's okay to cry and that I should always do what I want without caring what others think. Zayn taught me to love myself for who I am, to always be myself, to love life, to make the best of it, and to face my fears. Niall taught me to hold on and to believe someone out there is right for me, that love can wait and that I should just wait cause my prince is on his way but mostly he taught me to laugh at EVERYTHING. And one direction taught me to live, to love, to laugh, to be different, to go crazy, to smile, and to live my childhood and make the best of it. And Liam, well he showed me that some people don't change, he taught me that dreams do come true.
1D inspired each and everyone of us in different ways, they changed our life, they changed us and none of us can remember how their life was like before 1D was formed... But that's not why I'm writing this, I'm doing it because I know... I know how being a direction feels like.
You think being a Directioner is easy? Think again.
It's the hardest yet the best decision a Directioner's ever done in her life.
Being a Directioner isn't easy.
Being a Directioner hurts.
Being a Directioner is painful. It really is.
I know how most of us cry themselves to sleep.
I know how it feels like to know that millions and millions of girls out there love the boys too.
It hurts to know you're probably never going to hug them, kiss them, hold them in your arms, talk to them...
I know how bad It hurts when one of the boys' doing a follow spree and you miss it.
it hurts when you sit in the dark and think "what's the point? They'll never know I exist."
I've been there. I am there. and that's why I'm writing this, after reading all of your tweets I knew I had to write this cause a few months ago I was going through hell because of it and I needed someone to tell me this, I needed someone to give me hope, I needed to know I'm not alone..
So here it is:
You're not alone, none of us is alone. That's why we're a family remember?
We've all been through the same emotions and situation that's why we all ended up here, that's why we chose One Direction to fall in love with. NO ONE understands a Directioner better than a Directioner.
I'm not the luckiest girl alive, in fact I'm not lucky at all, I used to cry myself to sleep, I used to cry because I knew I'll never meet The Boys, I live in Narnia and they'll never come here. I used to question myself whether going through all this pain over a band that will never know I exist is worth it.
But then came a day when things changed. It was just a normal day when The Boys uploaded a video on youtube and my tweet showed up. I had a mini heart attack, I had to watch that video 3 times to believe it... I couldn't believe it. Then it happened again, a few days later, the boys were doing a UStream and again, MY TWEET.
Also 1DCP tweeted me like 6 times and it made me really happy, it made SO happy and I thought things couldn't get any better but they did.
22 september, 2011, was the worst yet the best day of my life. it all started when Liam tweeted about doing this follow/album/picture thingy. I got all excited and after spending 1 hour just to take a picture I sat in front of my computer impatiently waiting for Liam to come online and when he did. Just when he did. My computer shut down and my internet stop working. I tried to upload the picture from my phone but it didn't work. Liam stayed on for 2 HOURS, 2 HOURS and my internet didn't work, not even for a second. I felt like the world just ended, I was just NOT lucky, I cried, I fought with my mum for no reason, I screamed and I cried again. I couldn't take it anymore. My heart felt like it was about to blow. It was over for me: I live in narnia. I'll never meet the boys. They'll never notice me.
I was going through hell when I called my friend crying for support and she said "don't worry about it. Stop crying." But I couldn't. Not only I was going through hell but the day before (I think) 1DCP did that challenge and the winner got a follow from ALL the boys, I was so close to getting the right number, I was just 2 numbers away, she tweeted me "clooossseeee" but I didn't have time to even think about another answer, a girl had already tweeted the correct one.
That moment, that day, that week I honestly thought my life was over. I was sick of everything, I had just had a horrible day at school then this! I couldn't take it.
But Liam, the nicest boy on earth, promised to come back and follow more people that day so I brought myself together, took a deep breath and prayed he'd notice me.
I tweeted him my picture over 200 times and I kept refreshing his "following" list hoping and praying I'll show up there but I was all out of faith. I knew it wasn't gonna happen.
"Never Say Never" and "Dare To Dream" were 2 sentences I said but never, NEVER believed! Not until that day.
After 50 minutes of tweeting none stop. it happened. LIAM PAYNE FOLLOWE M.E. My heart? I swear it stopped! My hands? They were shaking so much I couldn't feel their existence anymore.
Still. I refused to believe it. I had to refresh that page 5 times and my first tweet was something like "am I dreaming or did Liam just follow me? Please someone tell me. I think I'm gonna die!"
I refused to believe it cz it was too good to be true. But it happened. IT HAPPENED.
I smiled for days and cried everytime I thought about it. Not only he noticed me but he saw MY picture. LIAM PAYNE SAW ME.
For a Narnian that's HUGE!
Liam made me BELIEVE. Liam changed my life. Ever since that day something inside of me changed. I feel different, good different.
But things didn't stop here.
About 2 weeks later there was that 1D advert challenge and the winner got a signed 1D album. I wanted to win so bad so my friend and I went down town and acted like complete fools screaming like crazy in the middle of the road filming it.
And guess what?
ALL the videos we filmed got accidentally deleted. ALL OF THEM.
We had 1 day left to upload the video and we didn't have enough time to re-film everything so we used all videos and made it.
And again... Guess what?
The advert we made didn't upload. Youtube was having technical problems.
Then 1DCP gave everyone a few more hours to finish their work and our video eventually uploaded.
No, we didn't win.
But we came second and we won a follow from @onedirection.
I know I didn't meet them or anything. I know it's not a lot but it's enough. I'm so grateful for everything that's happened to me.
All Directioner deserve to feel what I felt when the boys followed me. When they saw me. When Zayn said my name. When Liam indirectly called me legend..
I didn't write this to show off. I really didn't. I wrote it to show you that IT WILL HAPPEN. The boys WILL notice you. You WILL meet them. You WILL hug them, thank them. Everything you ever dreamed off WILL come true. And you should never ask yourself if going through all this pain for just a band is worth it. Because trust me it is!!
Becoming a Directioner. Loving 1D. Supporting them every second of everyday is the best choice I've ever made.
It's true Liam changed my life, he changed me, but that doesn't mean I love the other boys any less then him. They are all so amazing!
I hope this meant anything to you, wherever you are from and whoever you are.
NEVER GIVE UP.
DARE TO DREAM.
NEVER SAY NEVER.
Us Directioner we stick together. Dream BIG and you never know, your dream might just come true!!
GOOD LUCK. I really hope this happens to you and maybe you'll meet them someday, you never know!!
Thank you for reading this and I hope it helped. I needed to hear this few months ago when I was breaking down and I'm sure someone out there will appreciate it.
Love you my amazing 1D family. Thank you for sticking with me, thank you for always being there for me. Thank you for everything.
- Maya xxxxxx
What's a directioner?