taylah · @AdelaideBieber

30th Mar 2012 from Twitlonger

Okay, if you don't like reading things about what people have been through, just stop reading right now, and don't go calling me an 'attention whore', because i just want Justin & Demi to see how much they have helped me through the hard times in my life.

Okay. My name's Taylah, and my Mum got pregnant with me when she was 15, and had me when she was 16. My Mum gave up so much for me. School, her social life, lots of things. Sometimes, she would lose it and couldn't handle me, and I'd be sent off to my Nanna's for a weekend, or sometimes a week or two. My Mum grew up in an abusive household, and when she was pregnant with me she got bashed by her brother, and she had to witness all sorts of horrible things happen to my Nanna. My Mum's Dad would abuse my Nanna in front of everybody. But, he's out of our lives now, thank god. I don't even remember what he looks like. Or his name.

My Mum gave up most of her teenage life to look after me, she didn't really get to go out and get drunk like other teenagers her age were doing. When i was about 2, my Mum and Dad broke up. To this day, i still don't know why. My Mum and i moved into a flat and she still couldn't cope with me. Some nights, she'd call my Nanna screaming because she wouldn't know what to do. But eventually, she grew out of that.

My Mum met my Step Dad when i was 3, which was 11 years ago. My Step Dad is like my Dad. I've grown up with him around, and I'm more comfortable around him then my own Dad. Because, to me, he is my real Dad. He's the closest thing i have to it. I see my biological Dad a few times a year. Whenever it suits him. But i know that he loves me, and i love him too, he may not be around all the time but he's my Dad.

In late 2010, my Mum started drinking a lot. She would have people over every Wednesday night, and she'd get angry and hit me when ever i told her to turn the music down, because i had school the next day. She started going out every Friday night, and wouldn't come back until early in the morning, then she would sleep all day, and repeat. The way i remember my Mum is sitting at the kitchen table, in front of her laptop, with a big bottle of vodka next to her. She would drink it straight, and she'd go through a bottle every night. But towards the end, she would drink up to 2 bottles a night. My Step Dad became the one who was looking after us, she would always be sleeping or drunk, and would never do anything for us. She never cooked us dinner, it was all my Step Dad. She wouldn't get up in the morning to get us ready for school, it would be my Step Dad. And when we'd get home from school, she would still be in bed and get angry at us for waking her up. Some days, we'd come home and my baby sister, who was 1 at the time, would be running around in the same nappy she was wearing when we left that morning, because my Mum wouldn't get up to change her.

On one Friday night, i was sitting with my Mum watching her get ready. I asked her when she would be home, and she said when i was asleep, but that was nothing unusual. But that night, when she left, i still don't know what happened.. But my Step Dad was losing it. She hurt him, and i don't know how. He locked himself in a room and asked me to look after my brother and sisters, and i did. That night at around 1am, i was laying in my bed and could hear my Step Dad on the phone to her. He was yelling and then he came and told me he had to go out. He got back at around 3am, and my Aunty was with him. He said we were going to have to stay with her for a few days. And the next day, that's what we did. We woke up, and my Mum wasn't home yet. Which had never happened, and we all got in the car and drove to my Aunty's house. We stayed there for about 6 days and finally went home, but I'll never forget when my Aunty asked me that one question, "What would you think if your Mum didn't come home? Would you be upset, what would you do?" I didn't understand the question and why she was asking it at first, but now i do. Because here i am nearly 2 years later, and my Mum hasn't come back.

My Mum visits. Not much, but she tries. She's been diagnosed with bipolar, and a few other mental illnesses. She's been in rehab twice for drinking. She isn't normal anymore. All the alcohol has damaged her for the rest of her life, and i know I'll never have the Mum i had 3 years ago. The Mum who would cook us dinner, the Mum would wake me up in the morning to say bye before i went to school. She won't ever come back. The reason she is the way she is, is because she never got to live out her life when she was a teenager, she did it when she was older. When things got tough, she decided to live the life she never got to live.

But, 3 weeks after my Mum left me, my role model checked into a treatment facility. Demi Lovato was in rehab. And that hurt me in a way, because my Mum was too. But the reason i respect and love Demi so much now is because she's been through what my Mum went through. She was diagnosed with bipolar, and she was in rehab. And she got better. Demi gives me hope, that maybe one day, my Mum can be like her, and get better, and realise she can still fix her life. That's the reason Demi Lovato means so much to me. She honestly gives me hope. She did what i want my Mum to do.

And Justin's music helped me through most of this, and just him in general. When he tweets that he loves his Beliebers, it made me happy. And i knew that even though he doesn't know me, he'd want the best for me. He would want me to be happy, because I'm apart of this family, of his family, I'm a Belieber. I know it sounds cliche, but it really is true and he really did help me through this. I still struggle to get out of bed every day, i still struggle to be happy, but he makes me happy. His music makes me happy. Everything about him makes me happy.

And Pattie, she seems like she's there for me.. When she always tweets about forgiving your Mother no matter how much she has stuffed up, even though it isn't only for me, it helps me. No matter how many times my Mum stuffs up, i always forgive her. I say i hate her, but that's not possible.. She has stuffed up. She has ruined my life, most likely. But she's also ruined her own. And i know that if she had the choice, she would choose to be healthy again and be a good Mum again. But it isn't that easy. But if it was, i know she would jump at the chance to be around again.

So, thankyou @justinbieber, @ddlovato & @pattiemallette. You have helped me in so many ways. More then you can even imagine. All 3 of you give me hope. You all have amazing story's to tell, and each of them has helped me in so many ways.

I didn't write this for attention, i'm not an attention whore, there's nothing wrong with me sharing this on twitter, it's my choice, and if you don't like it i don't care. I just want Justin, or Demi or Pattie to see this. Because i want them to know how much they have helped me. So please just take a second, to retweet this. I know it's no amazing story, and people have been through more then i have, but i want them to be aware that they've saved me in more ways then one.

Thankyou for reading this.

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