The most important thing I can say about meeting Adam this morning is that I am floating on a warm, floaty gooey sea that is the color of green-ish aqua-ish…his eyes were very green-ish aqua-ish today. That color is my whole world right now. It’s all I can see when I close my eyes. It will be my happy place for a very long time.

I will forever be eternally grateful for what I did get, but you guys are not gonna believe how scorned Seattle fans were. We did not get to see him sing. No autographs. We could only ask him a question by writing it down, getting it pre-approved and having the DJ read it for us (I got around that). No giving him your gifts yourself (we got around that). No taking individual pictures. No taking a picture of him with your friend or having your friend take one of him with you. The DJ on the way out when it was over asked us “How was it?” and we said, “It was great, he is amazing, but it’s a bummer we didn’t get to hear him sing.” DJ says to me, “Well, usually on these promo stops, fans don’t get to listen.” I lingered for one second, wanting to say Uh, dude, are you serious? Do you know who you’re talking to here? – but we just left.

Many stunned and silent faces riding down in the elevator and in the parking garage after.
So it goes like this: They let us into the room and we sit at tables with an aisle in the middle. I’m at the first table. There are the two stools up front and we don’t realize yet he’s not singing for us… DJ gives us instructions bla bla bla, scorned Glamberts side-eyeing each other all the room as we start to get wise to how little we’re actually gonna get. People are reluctantly putting away the things they brought for him to sign. We will get to sit in on the Q&A. Get our picture taken with him. And get herded out immediately.

Adam walks into the room, says “Hi guys!” He takes my breath away. He’s right there. I’m so close. He takes a seat, and the DJ starts picking out questions from the slips of paper and reads them himself. He picks mine, says “Where’s Amy from (my town?)” I raise my hand and Adam lasers me immediately with his greenish-aqua-ish warm floaty universe…the DJ ceases to exist. Dimly I hear him saying that he can’t read my writing…clearly this is my sign from the Universe. I stand up. I’m the only one in the room who did that. I have a great view and all, but I want Adam to see me. He is staring at me with this happy waiting look and we don’t need the DJ and in my mind there’s nobody else in the world. Cue dark lights and disco ball and darkened dance floor - it’s me and Adam. He sees me and I see him. Inner monologue: *NO WAY ARE YOU, MORTAL DJ, GONNA DEPRIVE ME OF CHIT-CHAT WITH THE DARK LORD* I give Adam a big smile and say, “Good morning! Welcome back to Seattle. We’ve really missed you.” Adam says to me, “Aw, thanks! I love it here!” And *then* I get around to my question: “So you’ve given us Maypril….we’re wondering if you’ve given us another Adam-ism in Cuckoo?” And I sang to him, “go – on – and – pack - up – your - …?” And I extend my hand to him to indicate it’s his turn. He says happily, “Thingses!” I clap my hands and say “We love that!” and then I say, “If you ever want to just make up an entire language for us, we will learn it.”
I sit.

Oh and during the Q&A I realize that Tommy Joe has appeared out of nowhere and is like one leg length away from me, kind of skulking in a chair off to the side. He’s wearing these enormous sunglasses and is immersed in his phone and looks a little tired. He’s so close I could have easily reached over and tapped him on the knee. Except Adam’s in the room so yeah. Eyes front.

The DJ tells Adam the album release date is now May 15 and he seems surprised. We tell him Sony tweeted it and he seems surprised. We always joke about how he’s last with the news. Sometimes he is. (and tbh I’ll believe it when I see it)

After some other people get their questions picked by the overlord DJ – not everybody did, so I’m really lucky - it is suddenly over. We are to form a single line up the middle aisle with our guest. I’m right up front at that front table, so I think I was the third one to go…I step into the aisle. The radio henchman is all “Where’s your guest?”very importantly with his clipboard – I turn around and my friend is collecting our stuff at the table. She’s not ready. I turn back around and…um…Adam fucking Lambert is staring at me. He is about ten feet in front of me and he’s waiting for me cause I’m next. He locks the greenish-aqua-ish tractor beam on me and there are these very bright lights shining on him that they’ve suddenly turned on and I. Am. Pulled. In. Helplessly. Like. A. Fish. On. A. Shining. Dripping. Net. It’s another moment when I can do either do exactly what the radio Gestapo tell me to, wait for my friend, or I can grab the moment that seems to be presenting itself. He’s right there. Ten feet of air between us, and he’s staring at me. I forget my friend (she’ll forgive me), I forget my own name, I walk into the light, I die happy. I extend my hand and he takes it and I put my other hand on top of his. So I am. Um. Holding Adam Fucking Lambert’s sweet, warm hand between mine. There was so much I want to say. All I could remember was…. “It’s such an honor to meet you. You have brought so much happiness, *sexxxxiness* and fun into my life.” He. You guys. There was. See, there was this tractor beam. It was green and aqua. I remember his silver shiny disc earrings and one pock mark on his cheek and there was all that green and aqua and light and warm and holy fucking shit. He’s staring right into my soul and listening to me like I’m the most fascinating person in the world and he says, “Awww…thank you….yay!”

Oh God.

My friend arrives and I step to Adam’s side and I slip my arm under his jacket and on top of his t-shirt and wrap it around his body and hold him for dear life and I assume she’s on his other side and there’s a camera to look into and he smells like Tokyo Milk with the Octopus on it, which I know because I bought it. He is holding me so delicately with his left arm. I have my arm and hand around his waist and he’s warm and slim and solid and yeah that’s his body my right arm is wrapped around and guhhh…

My friend hands him the gift bag herself – we will probably be arrested for this or shot on the way out for not leaving the gifts on the super important gift table by the donuts (our kingly “breakfast,” ha ha). But Adam takes the bag and says, “Awww…you didn’t have to do that.”

I’m glad I wrote out a card to him that is in the gift bag and includes the other stuff that I forgot to say. I hope he reads it. I forgot to ask for a hug. It was just so important to me that I step up and give him my hand and look into those amazing eyes and say words, and I did get to be right by his side and in his space so…..I will try to remember to get a hug next time. Everything was so fast. We were shuffled through so fast. Hope I look decent in the picture. Very happy my friend and I got to do an Adam sammich….but I wish there’d been more time to take one with him, one with her, one with both… Oh well. I guess I want it all. Can you blame me?

Floaty. Green-ish aqua-ish. He is the most beautiful, ethereal creature I have ever seen.

And I may never wash my hands again. Heh.

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