@RyuOni1989 @vyxle Let me put it this way - as you know, Japanese keep relatively small, tight social groups. What matters most is miuchi - your family and close friends. They will define you by who you are and not your nationality, and if you strive to be Japanese, in my experience, along the way, they will treat you no different to anyone else in the family/circle. Next most important is your circle of acquaintances and coworkers. Again, I think it is possible, if that is the road you want to take, to be defined among people you work alongside to not be perceived primarily as a foreigner. Those first two groups are what matter, and it is completely possible to not be seen or treated as a foreigner within those groups of relationships, and indeed, if you are up for a bit of pain and struggle, I'd say aiming to fit in and be Japanese with those groups is what most people should ideally strive to do when in Japan as a foreigner. The group outside of that - everyone else moving around in the world that you don't know or interact on a regular or meaningful way with - in Japan, that group is called Tanin (other people) - and for all intents and purposes, all those people are gaijins to any given Japanese. There are rules and expectations that everyone follows in society in order to make everything work - which includes the social conventions about taking photos and stuff. Everything is fine so long as those conventions are adhered to. But here's the thing - foreigners, like Japanese tanin, are perceived one dimensionally when they are unknown to the person. There are certain expectations - annoying ones - like you will only speak English, you can't use chopsticks, and you will take photos, that even if you fulfill, no one will pay attention. Perhaps if you have a miuchi or girlfriend around who knows you, they will give you a hard time about acting like a "gaijin", but in other cases, it's only if you step outside of those expectations in a bad way that you get into trouble. Point is, I spent my first five years in Japan always getting upset that every "tanin" Japanese I met expected me to use a fork, or that they had to speak English to me. The realization I came to in time was that frankly, "tanin" don't matter, and it is pointless getting upset over how they perceive you - even if you sit someone down and set them straight that you, like many other gaijins use chopsticks and speak Japanese, five minutes later you will be back in the same situation with someone else. What matters is your miuchi, and the people who know you. Be careful, and by all means, be Japanese with them - and they will usually recognize that and treat you as an individual in return. But so long as you're not being an obnoxious lout, I've learned that it's a waste of energy fighting the extra leeway given to foreigners as strangers here. In fact, embracing it to a degree, in the right way and right circumstances, actually can make life here a lot easier. But those first five years of struggle were important - I know exactly what you are feeling, and I think you are on the right path with it. One day, you'll feel less self conscious, and when no one is looking, perhaps snap a few pics yourself :) Peace.

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