Tired of this "ungrateful" "bad brother" Damon thing so here goes:

So apparently for some, because Stefan agreed to become Klaus' henchman for Damon's "cure", Damon now owes him and should be grateful and "prove his love" by giving up something himself (and obviously by that what is meant is he give up Elena and let Stefan have her). Same people make a big fuss about how it is wrong of Damon to kiss Elena, because Stefan loves her.

Where to start with such nonsense?

Let's start with the fact the Damon loving someone has never EVER stopped Stefan from being in a relationship with them. He admitted himself that he did NOT give a damn that Damon loved Katherine, that he was hurting him by being with Katherine. And likewise, he did not give a damn when he realized Damon loved Elena, and continued to be in a relationship with her, and opting to issue a "hands off" warning to Damon and taking every opportunity to badmouth Damon to Elena and try and make Damon feel terrible about himself. Where was Stefan's "brotherly love"? Why doesn't the same code apply to him, where HE should also refuse to be with a girl who his brother loves? The fact is it is the stupidest and most selfish thing ever to demand two people who love one another should remain seperated because YOU also happen to love one of them and your feelings will be hurt. Sorry, but DEAL with it. If Stefan loves his brother and Elena that much their "happinesss" should make him happy and he wouldn't want them to give each other up. Damon gave Elena up once, when he felt he wasn't "worthy" of her and Stefan was. THAT is love, when you can make such a sacrifice for your "loved one" where you realize YOU, as you are, can't make them happy, are not the person they deserve or want at the moment and so you let them go. You may hurt, but you are also happy to see them happy and THAT matters more.

Stefan doesn't own Elena. Just because he "saw her first" doesn't mean he gets a special kind of claim on her. No one has a right to claim Damon give up on the love of his life just because Stefan saw her first. It's ridiculous... It is disrespectful of love and really proves the person has no true appreciation of love. A brother who demands/expects that from his brother doesn't really love him. A person demanding/expecting that from a loved one doesn't really love that person. A person doesn't demand a loved one "prove" their love by being "unhappy". "I can't have what I want because it wants you, but you should also not have what you want because if I'm unhappy and denied something, then you should be unhappy like me and give that something up as proof of your love to me". What logic is that? Love is not selfish like that, love is UNSELFISH. So if Damon and Elena frigging want to kiss, they WILL and SHALL kiss, and Stefan doesn't get to have a say in that. And he most certainly doesn't get to bring up the issue of "love".

Did Damon "steal" Elena from Stefan? NO! It is Stefan who gave Elena up over and over. He gave Elena up when he chose to go with Klaus. He gave Elena up when Elena and Damon tried their best -and almost got killed- to bring him back and he refused and told them to go back. He gave Elena (and Damon) up when he was freed from compulsion and no longer had to serve Klaus but opted to run out of the town. He gave Elena up when he came back to town after doing what Katherine demanded and stole Klaus' coffins, which put Elena, Damon and everyone Elena loved in danger and he simply didn't care. He gave Elena up when she came to see him to ask his help to save her brother and he refused telling her he didn't care. And although it happened after the kiss, he gave Elena up when he kidnapped her, forced his blood on her, and then threatened to kill her at the same place her parents died, in the sama manner -thus making her relive the most traumatizing event of her life all over again and that day something inside Elena died (thus the "funeral" for Elena that came later on, that was the final point). Stefan made it obvious to Elena and Damon he wanted nothing to do with her and didn't care. It was only then the kiss came. Now, after everything, he doesn't just get to say "oh, I was only pretending -despite my actions were very real as was the danger I put you in and the trauma!-, I do love you still so I feel very wronged that you moved on and got close to my brother to the point where you are not returning his feelings". The fact is, Stefan who thinks so little of Damon and so superior to him probably never thought Elena would fall for Damon and as long as it is not Damon she loved, he was fine to let her go. That is why, when her plea for his brother's life didn't move him, when her tears and screams as he was speeding by the bridge to make the car crash didn't move him hearing ELENA kissed Damon did. Love? Please. That is not love, that is COMPETITION. If he loved Elena so much, he would have "snapped" out of his crazy before that moment, when she was hurting so much. When Damon was still unstable because of the emotions pouring in after 150 years and so would "snap" at times and did things that hurt Elena, he was IMMEDIATELY regretful of it (seeing her "hurt" reaction) and trying to make up for it. Because HE loves ELENA. Not Stefan, no... He was unmoved and cold and even calmly "planning" (not having a momentary madness/snapping PLANNING) Elena's kindapping and almost-murder (HE can't even deny that he would not crash the car if Klaus did not back down!)and couldn't give a damn about what she felt at the moment or her fear and sorrow. Klaus sees and treats Elena as his "human blood bag" and Stefan saw and treated Elena as his "weapon to use against Klaus". He OBJECTIFIED her, his so-called "epic" love (hey, maybe Klaus is also in love with Elena, and it is "epic")! He has NO TROUBLE traumatizing her and letting her brother die but he does immediately go into "emo 'I care too much' Stefan" the moment he hears she and Damon kissed, though. Because it IS all about Damon for Stefan. He can't live without his brother, but he also can't have his brother "best" him or have something that he feels belonged to him. His whole idea of self-worth is tied to the idea he is the "good" brother and Damon is the "bad" brother and that means he is the brother others love and admire while Damon is the one that is looked down on. He can't stand "losing" to Damon, where his girlfriend/ex-girlfriend loves Damon the way she used to love him. And that is what that punch is about, more than anything else. ANGER.

Which takes us to the "Stefan saved Damon" bit. The brothers always save one another. They are STUCK with one another for an eternity, and of course they do love one another as brothers do. It DOES show his love for his brother, yes, but it is also something that benefits Stefan. It only makes sense that Stefan would give up the human girl who comes with an expiration date and who has no intention of turning in to a vampire (and really, he can't even be in MF for more than 5 years or so, so the "relationship" was doomed to end, anywya) for his immortal brother. It is "logic" really. As for the whole going back to ripper thing. Yes, it is a terrible price he is paying but it is not something he can not work his way back from. Klaus didn't demans he serve him for an eternity just for a decade. As a vampire, a decade is not a big deal. Losing Damon would be "permanent" damage to Stefan, a loss he'd suffer for all eternity. What he gave up are things he can make up for up. That is why it was the "better/preferable" choice for him, too. I am not trying to diss what he did, just pointing out it was not just something done for Damon, it also happened to BENEFIT Stefan.

And Damon did not ask to be saved. He was willing to die. Stefan made the decision he had to be saved no matter what, and chose to make that deal. He can not then claim Damon "owes him" for it. Damon did NOT want it or ask for it, he was even trying to off himself. Damon "living" is something Stefan wanted, so of course he ended up paying the price for it. He can't then come back and demand "payment" from Damon though. And definitely not one in which Damon is required to sacrifice his own happiness and his chance to be with the woman of his life! Who Stefan willingly gave up and doesn't love as much!

Also WHY was Damon even in a position where he was dying? Because, HE was the one trying to SAVE ELENA's LIFE. What was Stefan doing? Holding her hand, doing NOTHING as she agreed to be sacrificed. She was going to DIE and he did nothing, other than playing what he assumed was the "good" boyfriend so she was not upset with him and didn't "die" thinking less of him. The guy who had no trouble giving Elena up, and going into service of a villain to murder hundreds of innocents to save his brother (who was willing to die), could NOT lift a finger to save ELENA because he didn't dare upset her! No, instead he was busy being an ass to his brother who was doing whatever he could to save her, and bragging to him about how HE had Elena's "respect" but Damon didn't. Again, it was all about Stefan's self-worth, not "love". Stefan would rather sit back and watch Elena die (his one big move being "take me instead of Jenna" where he got to die a hero in Elena's eyes as she also died ROTFL), then do something that will make anger her as he is so afraid to lose his "good standing" with her. It is not about love, it is about the fact that he sees Elena, a "good" and HUMAN girl as a being "higher" and more "moral" than him and her "approval" and "respect" makes him feel good about himself so SHE can be sacrifices but her "approval" can not be risked! Whereas Damon was willing to risk even having her HATE HIM it meant saving her life. Again THAT is love, and it is UNSELFISH. IT is not about what you get, it is about what you give. It is not about "you", it is about your loved one. Stefan stood by as Damon worked his ass to save Elena and her loved ones. Stefan had to be comforted by Elena herself as he stood there watching Klaus take her away to be killed (for he is that much of a weakling and makes everything about himself -for that matter he made her waste the last day of her life taking a hike with him, making her WALK it all where he could speed up the process, so basically not letting her spend it with her own family one last time. Again SELFISH. What is worse, IF he hadn't and rather Elena was with her family, they may have prevented Jenna's kidnapping. But anyway, I digress). And then he went inside to call DAMON, clearly hoping his older brother would somehow save Elena. Damon, in the meantime, was busy saving Elena and Elena's loved ones (and the vampire and werewolf Klaus was going to use in the sacrifice, so saving Elena too -he didn't know Klaus had "spares-) and THAT is when he got bitten. When being a TRUE hero. FOR ELENA. Because Stefan is so useless... That is why Damon had a werewolf bite and needed a cure if he was to live.

Stefan doesn't get to demand Damon give Elena up as a show of brotherly love, while the reason he ever had to save Damon, in the first place, was because HE didn't care about Elena the way Damon did and Damon got hurt only because he was the one willing to do anything to save Elena, including risking his life. Hell no! For Stefan "giving Elena up" may not be that big a price, he gave her up to Klaus too, after all(!) but for Damon it IS too big a price. He LOVES Elena with all his heart. He would DIE for her. And the only reason he'd ever give her up would be for her own good, not for someone else, and THAT is how it should be. Stefan needs to realize people do NOT exist to do his bidding and the world does not revolve around him and no one owes him anything. If he is so big on brotherly love, how about HE give Elena up to Damon, given Damon obviously loves her so much more!

As for Damon's "love" for Stefan. Love is not about keeping a score sheet of who saved whom how many times, though obviously Damon has saved Stefan too -btw, the reason Damon ends up being in a situation where he needs to be saved is because HE is the one who tries to save people and so puts himself in danger all the time! One doesn't get to be saved from death when they don't find themselves in such situations that often! LOL-. Love is about all the big and little things we do for another combined. Damon NEVER EVER badmoths Stefan to anyone (while Stefan shies away from taking a jab at him), not even when he was the big "bad" brother in S1, not even though it would "benefit" him. He could do it numerous times in S1 to damage Stefan/Elena's relationship IF he really wanted to torment Stefan and come between them for Stefan was a huge liar and if Elena had found about it all from a 3rd party, and early on, too she would have been "done" with him there and then. Nothing prevented Damon from telling Elena her "boyfriend" was a vampire or that he was with her because she looked exactly like their ex and HIS verson of the story etc. but rather, Damon let it all unfold on its own, which gave Stefan an opportunity to make Elena fall even more for himself, drill it into her that he is the "good vampire/brother", and manipulate Elena (like he did when she found out about Katherine by dropping the bomb on her that she was adopted). This season, Damon actually HID Stefan's "ripper" crimes from Elena and so had to pretend as if he didn't really care about Stefan's whereabout to Elena, risking looking bad in her eyes. It was again to protect Stefan and his image in Elena's eyes that is oh-so-important for Stefan. He risked his own life many times to get Stefan back from Klaus, and he even went to "distract" Klaus -knowing full well he could die- just so Stefan/Elena had their little chat (and he actually got Elena in a dress for the "date" lol) and Elena had a real opportunity to take Stefan back with her. If it wasn't for Gloris, he may have really died! He didn't use Stefan's absence or past or present crimes to get closer to Elena or to make him look bad in her eyes, just the opposite, he always kept them to himself, and tried to help get them back together (even back in S1 when Stefan had his relapse, Damon would play down how bad it would get when Elena was all "Stefan wouldn't hurt anyone". This year, when Elena was all furious and hurting because of what Stefan did to her when he used her as a WEAPON, even then, Damon "defended" his brother, trying to make him look not so bad. Now, THAT is love. I can see why Stefan's fans wouldn't realize that though, as ALL their beloved Stefan does is badmouth his brother at every chance he gets. Probably they think that is a show of love, just like making selfish demands that someone be unhappy because YOU are unhappy and they are not to have what you can't have is supposed to be about brotherly love. ROTFL

Also, do note that, despite it being a big deal for Damon that Elena "trusts" him and him not wanting to do anything to screw up his relationship to Elena, he KEPT Stefan's secret about the coffins to himself. Because when Damon gives his word to someone, he keeps to it. Especially if it is his brother. It was Stefan who "broke" the trust (and so love as trust and love are very much related to one another from where Damon stands!) between the brothers by going to their father about Katherine despite Damon's plea and his word to him (he couldn't NOT do it, his "good son"ness demanded it, I'm sure!), and in S1 while Damon very much wanted to be able to trust his brother and work with him again (in opening the tomb) Stefan was busy scheming behind his back and planning betrayal and making ELENA a part of it too! Damon WANTS to trust Stefan, but he can't. Because of Stefan's own actions. And if Stefan REALLY wants to "restore" their relationship to how it used to be, he better start with earning that TRUST back, first.

And btw, when Stefan had his relapse in S1 and was all sucidal, we got one of our rare -if not only- "heart-to-heart" moments between the brothers as Damon initiated a TALK between them where he told Stefan he brooded too much and absolved him of his own guily, saying it was all on him and him only, not Stefan. He was SUPPORTIVE and TRYING TO HELP HIS BROTHER and MAKE HIM FEEL BETTER ABOUT HIMSELF! What did Stefan do in S2 when HIS brother was struggling because his humanity was back and there was this onslaught of emotions that he had to deal with after 150 years? HE KEPT TALKING SMACK TO DAMON being as UNSPORTIVE as he could be and doing his best to MAKE DAMON FEEL BAD AND INFERIOR. Talk about "brotherly love"...

So, next time Stefan feels like showing his "brotherly love" for Damon I suggest he tries earning Damon's trust back and he tries showing he VALUES Damon, thinks HIGHLY of him, has his back and wants his happiness and doesn't feel ENTITLED to demand from Damon that he sacrifice his happiness. Stefan needs to first realize Damon does NOT exist for him, and appreciate Damon for who he is and not what he "needs" Damon for or from Damon! "Saving Damon" is not going to fool anyone into thinking he truly loves Damon -as he is-, and really it is the reason why Damon didn't believe he betrayed them for Damon, too.

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