A number of folks showed concern and offered support over this Twitter kerfluffle, which was very much appreciated. So I think I owe it those people to explain what’s happened and how it’s coming to a close.

At the beginning of August, my wife and I drove from Charlotte, NC to her little home town just outside of Toronto, Ontario. It was a two day drive, not bad but long, and we needed some time to recharge once we arrived. That’s when we were hit almost simultaneously with two bits of news: one of my wife’s relatives was terminally ill, and I had an impersonator on Twitter. What timing.

Now I’ve have my detractors. One fan or another enraged over something I did (or that they perceived I did) in the comic. They’d rant and threaten and nothing came of it. Not this one, though. This fine upstanding young man used my face and my name to say I was a sexually impotent, whore-mongering fur-suit fetishist. That I forced my wife to partake in these acts. That I stole fan-fic ideas to write my scripts. This was more than a threat or a rant, it was an out-right attack.

So I contacted Twitter and within a couple days the account was gone. My wife and I spent the month visiting family and doing whatever. Then it came time for the return trip home and the terminally ill relative was gone. Less than a month from diagnosis to death. I had to return for my own familial obligations, and so I had to do the hard thing and leave my wife behind, drive down alone, and get back to life in Charlotte. Shortly after returning home, the upstairs neighbor’s toilet seal gave up the ghost, and each flush came through my bathroom fan. Oh, and my Twitter “fan” was back.

What had he done in that intervening month? According to him, he had worked with the Twitter staff to reinstate the offending account within their parameters of a “parody account.” He spent a month of his life ensuring he could continue saying truly awful things about me using my face and my name, then with a smile saying it was okay because it was “parody.” To insult my wife and to insult my honesty, my honor, was “just a joke.”

So with family concerns on both sides of the border, piss literally raining on me, and some yahoo online using my face and name to insult my wife - yes, I lost my temper. I did my research and it seemed I could make a good case against him. I double-checked with my lawyer and, yes, I had a case. So I rattled my saber and threatened to sue. Maybe he’d get the hint he’d gone too far. But no, I was “butthurt.” I couldn’t take the “joke.” Because it’s funny to say I force my wife to be a deviant, then cheat on her with whores. (If I can get it up, mind you. Cue rimshot).

Alright, if he wasn’t going to blink, I was going to make good on my claim. Ten minutes on Google and I had his city, his state, his birth date and his first name. Another five and I had his two alternate Twitter accounts, Youtube, Facebook, and all that jazz. And amid all that, I found out he was a leukemia survivor, diagnosed when he was just a child.

That gave me pause. One of my best friends since first grade was diagnosed with leukemia. He had found two donors – a 9/10 and 10/10 match, one of which got special permission to leave his post in Iraq to donate. He died six months after diagnosis. The marrow just didn’t take. He was dead before he was twenty-five, and it haunts me to this day. This kid – no, young man – had suffered something just as harrowing. Surely, after an ordeal like that, he’d have some solid reason for coming after me. After all, he spent a month trying to renew the account, so he must’ve had some valid reason.

It’s because he doesn’t like how I write a cartoon bird.

Jet the Hawk, rival to Sonic and star of the “Sonic Riders” racing games. Jet who, to date, I’ve barely had any time to write with any serious focus. This guy, though, he knows Jet. He’s roleplayed him, you see. It’s how he met his girlfriend (who roleplays Wave the Swallow, part of Jet’s gang). Jet is who he acts as in his Twitter roleplays and on Sonic roleplay message boards.

That is why he decided to use my face and my name to slander me. That is why he insulted my wife, my integrity, and spent a month ensuring he could continue under Twitter’s parody policy. That is why he’s focused so much hate, anger, and absolute vile language towards me. That is what he does with the life he won back from cancer.

Because he doesn’t like how I write a cartoon bird.

Since then I’ve had time to think. My bathroom is fixed. Families are settling and readjusting. I have plenty of other concerns, including another big trip for the New York Comic Con. I don’t have the time (and definitely not the money) to enter into a pitched legal battle with this child. (Not young man; that belies some degree of maturity.) I have the information and the case, but I find that I can’t be angry anymore. This kid offered an apology to my wife after a friend explained he’d crossed the line.

That had to be explained to him. Dwell on that for a second.

I could take him to court and win, of that I have no doubt, but to what end? When someone feels a deep spiritual connection to a fantasy bird-man out of a mediocre videogame series – how do you combat that?

You can’t. You can’t fight that kind of crazy. In the end it’s just one more voice on the internet raging at me. He just did it louder and nastier than anyone to date. Congratulations, Josh, you set the bar.

So that’s my story. I huffed and I puffed, and in the end I left his house alone. He probably got more attention from me than anyone else, and now I can’t bring myself to care anymore.

So now it’s back to work and file this whole thing away as just another one of “those times.” Thanks for kind words and the offers to help, folks. We're done here.

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