POTENTIAL NEW FOLLOWEE (PNF) & ORIGINAL/LONGTIME FOLLOWEE (OLF) REMINDER CONTRACT
ADDENDUM (added September 15, 2011)
OLFs: Please be advised that this amended contract should serve as a reminder of the behaviour that we expect of our Twitter "friends". A reminder of what is acceptable and what is not.
Most acceptable/unacceptable behaviour is outlined below as previously issued on February 5th, 2011 and then amended on June 29th, 2011.
The following behaviour *MAY* result in you being temporarily muted and could eventually lead to you being permanently UNfollowed:
* Any blatant repetitive tweets for the sole purpose of trending ANY particular topic MAY result in an UF and/or block. (Yes, this was mentioned below...it clearly needs repeating.)
* Discussing/ranting/obsessing over one subject and one subject only, even if it's an interest we have in common. We are dynamic people with varying interests. We will not be limited to ONE topic of conversation.
* Using your Twitter account mainly as a conduit for your tumblr account. If I wanted to follow your tumblr account I'd create one of my own and follow yours.
* Constant negativity on ANY subject. We ALL deserve to rant and rave about any & everything we want (especially when you're able to make them funny rants) BUT when that's all you do...it's exhausting. We're not here to be exhausted.
Be aware that you are now being closely monitored. Twitter should be one little happy place of many in our lives. For fun, information, conversation, shenanigans. We refuse to let it be anything else.
Please note: If you take offense to ANY of this you're probably one of the ones being monitored AND you should take this shit way less seriously. (Except this contract...'cuz IT's serious.)
*Originally dated February 5th, 2011.
**Amended June 29th, 2011.
As a PNF for @erintalkscrap or @i_keisha or @mjw_o I @________________ (insert Twitter name here) promise to abide by the following simple rules:
1. I WILL be original, funny & (preferably) smart.
2. I will NOT RT everything a celebrity says. Meaning: I will assume that if any of MY followers are interested in what said celeb has to say, they’ll follow said celeb themselves and will thereby receive said celeb’s tweets in a more efficient, less annoying manner.
3. I will NOT beg people (celebrities or otherwise) for “followbacks”, “happy birthdays”, “get wells”, “pls. follow my friends” or any other such nonsense.
4. I will NOT be an @ mention abuser. Meaning: I will NOT constantly @ mention celebs when I’m having conversations ABOUT them just so that they will POSSIBLY see it. Also explained as: I will mainly use celeb @ mentions when I’m actually involving them in a conversation…again, not just talking ABOUT them.
5. If I am, indeed, followed back, I acknowledge that my Twitter behavior will be monitored and subject to review and/or mocking.
I accept that:
1. Any incessant RTs MAY result in RT capabilities being disabled.
2. Any blatant repetitive tweets for the sole purpose of trending ANY particular topic MAY result in an UF and/or block.
3. I MAY be asked to provide the name of at least ONE trusted, mutual Twitter friend to vouch for me and my follow worthy-ness.
Please note: If you are unable to see the unfortunateness of having a Weetabix-like dry vagina and/or believe that having a dry vagina is exactly the same as having a dry mouth, you will NOT be followed back and are definitely subjecting yourself to mocking (yes this is an inside joke with which you should eventually become familiar).
@*insert Twitter name here*, PNF or OF