Hm, where do I start? Unsure actually. I'll start with...march 2001. Me, being age 3, was diagnosed with retinal blastoma. Know what that is? Didn't think so. Not many people do (lol). It's a type of cancer, commonly found in kids. I had it in my right eye. Oh no, but that's not it. I also have a huge green birthmark, on half my face. It's not raised or anything, but where it should match my skin tone, it's just...a huge green mark. Anyways, BACK TO THE CANCER THING (lol I'm a mess).

I'm not the luckiest person in the world, (as you can see...), so I lost my sight in the eye with cancer. Lost all my hair do to chemotherapy, and had to wear this weird sun visor thing to protect me. (I remember, it was light purple, with little spongebob pictures on it. I actually remember one time, my cousin (and one of my best friends), her best friend said I looked like a boy, and my cousin went off. I love how she sticks up for me. ANYWAYS, in 2005, when I was 5 years old, I was...-drumroll- cancer free! Haha, great right?

I don't remember much of going through it, but I do remember the doctors telling me the medicine was rootbeer (and sometimes butterbeer), me drinking it, gagging cause of the terrible taste, and like...instantly falling back on the stretcher thingy...asleep. Let's skip ahead.

Kindergarden, when everyone was still innocent. Nobody cared if you barely had any hair, were blind in one eye, or had a huge birhtmark, on half your face. Pretty good times. 1rst grade, people got a little more judgmental, but it was all good. 2nd grade, okay, okay, so people were getting meaner as the years went by, but I had a best friend to get me through. 3rd grade. One of the first times I broke down if front of people. Why? -Name won't be shared- called me an ugly two-face, that didn't have any friends. It was so humiliating. In the middle of gym class too! I literally, sat down on the floor crying my eyes out. Gym teacher care? Not a chance. Best friend? Looked away.

4th grade. Okay, so I moved, and now I'm at a different school. Maybe it'll be fun...right? Right? Nope. Called an ugly bitch of a two face by -name not shared- for calling her immature, after making fun of an innocent little 1rst grader. Did I cry? No, not really. By this time, I was a bit stronger. 5th grade. Teachers pet? Hell yeah. That's how I knew nobody could touch me. My teacher was my best friend by the end of the year. I lose some friends? All of them. They all left me, cause society said that I wasn't pretty enough to be around.

Don't worry, were getting to the end of my story. 6th grade. The hellhole we call middle school. Ugh. Okay, so this is the year that broke me down the most. People writing lies about me on the bathroom wall, random people staring at me in disgust in the halls, guys using me to insult each other. And they say to enjoy being young. There are to many incidents, where I ended up in the bathroom stall, crying my eyes out, to even explain. Let's start with this. The only guy I ever ACTUALLY liked that year, was -name has been removed-. I told a person I thought I could trust, but obviously I couldn't. Her response:

"Why would someone like you...EVER go for someone like you? As if. Susan Boyle would probably be before you."

We never spoke again. But obviously she spoke to other people. Pretty soon, the whole 6th grade knew. Good thing he was a 7th grader. I went to one of my 7th grade friends for advice. She said he was a huge jerk, but I ignored her. Pretty soon, I received a text message from a number I didn't have saved. I asked who they were, and sure enough, they said -just say the guy i liked-. Being the gullible person I am, I believed them. They said they like me too, and then asked me out. I accepted, agreeing to go to the movies with 'him' that friday. I literally jumped around the room. But 10 minutes later I got another text from the number:

Ha, did you actually fall for it? Like, seriously. Why one earth would he ever date you? Keep dreamin' 2face

Why is life so cruel? My best friend comforted me (Not the same one from 2 and 3rd grade. I made another one), so I felt better. I pretty much thought my life was over. I thought about suicide many times. But of course I didn't tell anyone. They'd think I was crazy, and then make me go to some, suicidal watch place. I cut myself for a brief period. I had to come up with excuses to tell my parents, like 'I fell off my bike' or something. I eventually stopped, and was just...fake. I put on a bright smile, ignoring all the rude comments, and people staring during the day, but went home and cried myself to sleep every night.

I started thinking about suicide again. I was cleaning up the kitchen one night, and I had to wash a knife. I was seriously about to do it, but I heard my mom coming, and continued washing it. That's the first time my life was spared. I decided to get help. I went to one of my closer...wiser...friends. I told her about my suicidal thoughts (this was via text), and this was her response:

I swear to god almighty if you even think about leaving this earth at your own desire, so help me I will- just don't think like that.

And hey, I felt better. Plus, I also remembered all the GOOD times I had with my true friends. You know, those times you laugh so hard that you cry? Those times. Hey, even my family. We had a lot of good times. It would be extremely selfish to the people who love me, to leave this earth. So I wanted to get better. I didn't want to be some, emo chick that hated the world.

So I turned to music. I wasn't really into glee, but a website recommended it to boost my self-confidence. So I checked it out, and you know what the first episode I saw was? 'Original Song'. A.K.A. Loser Like Me. I was actually crying right before I watched the episode. But after that, I was like 'Psh, everyone wants to be a loser like me'. Another source of music. The almighty, Greyson Chance. Waiting outside the lines! It inspired me to stop waiting around for something to happen, and I'm not anymore! That's also when I first fell in love with him. I mean, who doesn't love him? I was slowly healing myself by music. Cool, right? Eh, it's okay if you don't really care. Oh yeah, the newest song to make me feel better, is 'Purple Sky', Greyson Chance. I know he was talking to everyone, but I took a special liking to when he said 'You're beautiful' xD

Hey, That's me :)

And if you want to see a pic of me-

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=117875968292418&set=a.112879408792074.21262.100002100475439&type=1&theater;I promise I'm not that ugly. People are just...incredibly mean. Someone actually said "It sucks that the cancer didn't kill you..." but hey, hataz gonna hate! I'd like to say thank you to Greyson Chance, and the Glee cast. You guys saved my life <3

Twitter- http://twitter.com/#!/Sam_Chance
Facebook- Uh, I guess if you want to look at my pics or something? http://www.facebook.com/SamanthaChance123
Email- alim9199@yahoo.com

By the way everyone, I am 12, going into the 7th grade. I love you all! NO matter if you're laughing at my pic right now. Sorry if I bored you, and or wasted your time! But, I needed to tell SOMEBODY my story <3

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