Don Mashak · @DMashak

27th May 2011 from Twitlonger

#GOOOH #LEGALEvil #2012ELECTION #GRIP #TPTAR #JIM #WETHEPEOPLE Perhaps we should all remember this joke when deciding who to vote for in 2012.

A Politicians dies and suddenly finds himself before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

The Politician says, Well... I haven't been very religious and I have not always behaved as i should. I guess I am doomed to hell.

St. Peter replies: No, no.... We don't do it that way anymore... You get the choose..

The Politician quickly blurts out, I want heaven.

St. Peter says: No... You must try each for 24 hours and then choose. But choose carefully, because once you choose the choice is final and that is where you will spend eternity. Why don't you try hell first?

The Politician, skeptical because he knows how many times they have tricked or betrayed people, tells St. Peter of his concerns...

St. Peter says: Hey, I am St. Peter, if you can't trust me, who can you trust. If it makes you feel any better I will ride down in the elevator with your. And I give you my word that you can leave whenever you want.

Nervously, the Politician says ok.

When they get to the bottom and the door pops open.
Outside the door the Politician sees a lake and a beach and many old buddies. A lot of younger, attractive men and women in swimsuits are playing volley ball and cavorting with the other Politicians on the beach. Next to the Volleyball net, is a big keg of bear on ice. The politicians old friends call out for the newest arrival to join them and the party.

Having second thoughts about betrayal, the politician looks to St. Peter who gives reassurances that the Politician can leave any time but must leave in 24 hours.

Well the politician has the best time of their existence, drinking, yukking it up with buddies and cavorting with younger, attractive members of the opposite sex. 24 hours seems go by too fast, and before the politician realizes it, it is time to take the elevator up to heaven.

Well, the Politician gets up to the Pearly gates. St. Peter fits the Politician with wings and ushers the Politician into heaven. The politician has an okay time... learning to play the lute and lyre, singing in the choir, talking philosophy with Socrates and Plato, bathing in the splendor of the lord etc.

At the end of 24 hours, the Politician seeks out St. Peter to make his selection.

St. Peter reminds the politician to choose carefully, because the choice is final and for eternity.

The Politician tells St. Peter: This is going to sound terrible, but I think I want to choose hell. I had such a good time when I was there.

St. Peter responds, No, that is fine. It is your choice and that is the only thing that matters.

The Politician skips over to the elevator and pushes the button for hell.

When it reaches the bottom, the door springs open. Immediately, the politician is seized by the devil, poked with a fork and slapped in chains. The Politicians buddies are all chained to a wall in various uncomfortable positions with the flames of hell licking at their flesh... Screams of pain, agony and torment echo in the politicians ears.

The Politician protests: This is fair, this is not what I was promised yesterday. Yesterday their was a lake, a beach, cold beer, attractive members of the opposite sex and a great party... today this is, well this is Hell... What happened.

The Devil laughs maniacally while chaining the politician on a barbecue spit.... The Devil says"
What happened you ask? What happened? Yesterday I was campaigning, today you voted.

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Don Mashak
The Cynical Patriot

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