Because I'm a dork, I've transcribed the #tvd voicemail from last night. Here's what you hear when you dial 919-399-2507:

Katherine: Hello. For those of you who are Team Salvator slash Team Elena, here's a tip: Reconsider your allegiance. No one has the slightest idea what Klaus is truly capable of. When he shows, and, believe me, he will show, nothing can protect Elena, not even big, bad Damon. Her only chance of survival is to do exactly what I have done for hundreds of years: Run. Hide. Repeat.

Stefan: And for those of you who are Team Katherine: Don't be. If history has told us one thing, it's that Katherine Pierce can't be trusted.

Damon: Ditto. Screw Katherine. Save Elena. Down with Klaus. You know, all that inspiring "Go Team" stuff.

Computer voice: Sorry, but the user's mailbox can't accept more messages.

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