he epic post that blows that Anti Delena blog out of the water this my friends is a must read if your a Delena fan and hell if your not a Delena fan well read it anyway because...

it shows every single reason De fans are well DE fans. it was written by Ciara on the vd.net board...



Why do you ship Delena?

Note, this isn’t a list of reasons I ship D/E. It’s a reply to the specific points you raised in this part of your blog entry. We agree that Damon only shows his good side to Elena. However, let’s think about why that is. As you rightly point out, he could show it to anyone he so chooses. Your question is why Elena?

My answer is because Elena sensed it in him before he showed her any real evidence of it. She apologized to him in Friday Night Bites for his loss of Katherine. You can see by the look on his face that it has been who knows how long since anyone showed him any sympathy. Sure you can argue that Elena didn’t know what he was then or the horrible things he’d done. But nevertheless she could see that he had suffered and/or was in pain because of Katherine’s “death” and she empathized. Elena has always seen past the walls that he put up and you best believe it wasn’t because Damon was letting his guard down with her. It’s her nature to sympathize and empathize. And for Damon who has been denied – admittedly often because of his own actions- those things for many years, it was a difference that affected him deeply. After all this time of being a monster, Elena is the one person who ever bothers to look past his actions and to his motives. Think back to Fool Me Once when Stefan says that Damon is angry. Elena corrects him, saying “He’s hurt. There’s a difference.” She gets Damon. It’s not just about seeing the good in him. Like you said, anyone would see that if he let them. It’s about understanding how his mind works, even when he’s going out of his way to achieve the opposite. I was incredibly struck by the fact that right after he killed her brother, she was still lucid enough to realize that he’d done that because being hated was easier. That it was a choice he’d made in that moment. It’s a marked contrast to Bonnie who in the aftermath of her grams death hated Damon and all vampires. Unlike Elena, she was incapable of putting herself in Damon’s shoes. Now I’m not condemning her for that. It’s a normal reaction on her part. But that Elena can do that is exactly what makes her so extraordinary, despite your labeling her as boring and bland. Elena has spark. Let’s not forget that we met her only a few months after her parents died. Anyone would be a little bit blah after that. But she has the ability to be very fierce and very brave. Just look at how she handled being kidnapped. Women twice her age and then some would have completely fallen apart. And yet as plainly terrified as she was, she stood up for herself, going so far as to attempt negotiating with Elijah who is basically the baddest ass vampire we’ve seen on this show yet.

How will Elena benefit in a relationship with Damon?

Again, Elena not being fun probably has a lot to do with us as an audience meeting her after parents had died and her whole world got turned upside down. As she herself said in Bloodlines, she used to be more fun. What I would point out here is that Elena being “fun” around Damon doesn’t only apply to the character. It’s more fun for us as an (D/E) audience to watch her with Damon because she comes alive. She gets angry, she yells at him, she can get drunk with him, she can be empathetic with him, she can worry about him, she can banter and have eye sex with him. When she is around Damon, Elena expresses a large range of emotion that is entirely absent in her interaction with Stefan.

Second of all, I love snarky Damon as much as anyone. However, I recognize (and Ian Somerhalder has said this numerous times) that those things are a defense mechanism. They are how Damon copes with his pain, his loneliness and whatever other emotions he is trying to hide. They are not a real reflection of who he is. You’ve only to look at the flashbacks to realize that as a human Damon was far more vulnerable emotionally than Stefan was. And this ties into something, you mentioned in the “Why Ship Delena” part of your post. You wrote that Damon doesn’t allow himself to be loved by anyone. Yes, well, he did spend the majority of his life, undead or otherwise, feeling unloved. Stefan was his father’s favorite, Katherine’s as well. Damon hasn’t had a lot of experience letting people love him because no one ever has. And the one person you could argue loves him – his brother – has failed him in many ways (Damon has incontestably failed him as well) and so I find it perfectly reasonable that he would be guarded.

And although her word must be taken with a grain of salt (possibly a shot of tequila as well) I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Katherine referred to Damon as being sweet and innocent. If you don’t like the side of his character that comes out when he’s around Elena, if you’re not moved by his confession on the porch or at the end of Rose, then frankly I have to assume that you really don’t like Damon because at his core, that is exactly who he is. The rest is just a façade and a crumbling one at that.

You argue that Damon is changing for her. I disagree. He’s actually changing for himself. He doesn’t really want to be a monster. When he thanked “Elena” for deciding he was worth saving, it was because it meant the world to him that someone else could still have for him the hope that he wants to have for himself.

But back to the original point here of what Elena gains from a relationship with Damon. This might sound crazy but in my opinion a relationship with Damon would be much healthier with Elena than the one she currently has with Stefan for the plain and simple reason that despite caring for him, Elena is not blind to Damon’s faults. She sees him as he is and cares for him anyway. And Damon has never hid himself from her or apologized for who and what he’s been. You can take issue with that if you want and argue that he’s a monster who feels no remorse but personally, I like to see it as someone who is real. He knows who and what he is, knows what he’d done wrong and right and has accepted those things. With him, Elena can be real too. She doesn’t care what he thinks so she’s not afraid to express herself. She’s not constantly weighing her every word out of fear that he will think less of her.

Now, I am simply going to address the other points you raise in this segment, notably the comparisons with Damon’s relationship with Katherine and his potential relationship with Elena. You are right that his love for Katherine was obsessive and selfish. But you are wrong – in my opinion – that his love for Elena bears any resemblance whatsoever to that. At the end of Rose he said it himself, “Because I love you, I can’t be selfish with you”. That right there, encapsulates how DIFFERENT his feelings for Elena are from his feelings for Katherine and to my mind it even implies that what he felt for Kat was never love in the first place. It’s true that Damon’s love tends to be unconditional. It’s true that he will do absolutely anything for Elena and to protect her. That’s part of his character; it’s part of his fierce loyalty to the ones he loves.

You also said that Damon and Elena will not have a relationship like Stefan and Elena’s. To that I reply, THANK GOD. I have so many issues and qualms with S/E’s relationship and I wouldn’t want a D/E relationship to be remotely similar. Damon, I feel, is far more likely to let Elena think for herself, not to smother her. He will protect her yes but also allow her to make her own decisions and face their consequences. And he’s always done that. Look at the scene in BNW when she stops him killing Caroline. He makes it a point to tell her that “this is your choice, if it backfires, it’s on you.” Damon owns his own actions good or bad and he will not let her do anything else.

I disagree with your assessment of Bonnie and Damon’s interaction but that’s neither here nor there.

Why can you not see any other possibility for Damon?

This one is quite straightforward. Damon loves Elena and he doesn’t fall in love easily. He spent a 145 years “loving” Katherine. And she wasn’t nearly worth the headache or the heartache. Elena is actually worthy of being loved. Damon is not fickle in love. Considering the intensity of his emotions for Elena, it’s going to be decades, centuries and more before he truly feels for anyone else what he feels for her. So yes, it’s possible that he could come to care for other people, Bonnie included, but it will never be close to the love he has for Elena.

I have to argue this point about how Elena doesn’t set him straight. Are you serious? She gives him hell. She calls him out on his b.s. all the time starting from that scene in Haunted where she slapped him and said, “It matters and you know it.” Actually I lie. She was calling him out before even that. In Friday Night Bites, she also slapped him and highlighted the fact that he was putting a double meaning behind everything he said and trying to destabilize her on purpose. So yes, the idea that Elena doesn’t set Damon straight when he screws up is quite mind boggling to me.

Damon’s love for Elena makes all the sense in the world to me. He said it himself . “I like you, you have spunk”. And that was before he even got to know her properly. Circumstances have kicked Elena’s ass. I mean just consider all of the things that she’s been through since this show started. Lesser women would be completely and entirely defeated. And yet Elena isn’t. She is still fighting for the people she loves tooth and nail. Damon respects her loyalty because it’s one of the things that they have in common. They are truly more similar than people might think. Just consider that Damon understands her feelings for his brother better than Stefan himself does. As a human, Stefan couldn’t accept Kat’s vampire side and this is why he has so many issues with Elena loving a “monster” and why he wants to protect her from himself. But Damon didn’t have that issue with Kat. He believed himself in love with her regardless of the animal she was.

And again the reason that D/E fans fixate on Damon being happy with Elena and no one else is because that is what Damon himself wants right now. No amount of what ifs or maybes change the fact that right now – as I sit here typing this – the words that came out of Damon’s mouth were “I love you Elena.” It was not , “I love you Elena but maybe in six episodes I”ll love Rose or next season I’ll love Caroline or Bonnie. Or in three seasons when the show jumps the shark I’ll love Matt or Tyler.”

It was and will be for the foreseeable future, Elena. I love Damon, I want for him what he wants for himself. And I happen to be of the opinion that their relationship would be good for Elena as well. Win/win for me if they hook up.

Also about this Elena not loving Damon. I agree with you that she’s not in love with him YET. But she cares very very deeply. More so than she wants to admit because hello, try as she might and after he killed her brother, she still doesn’t hate him. She tried – she gave it the good old college try- but at the end of the day, she can’t do it. She has shown multiple times since the night of the Jeremy incident that she still cares for Damon by expressing concern for him. When the brother’s were prone on the basement of the Lockwood dungeon, she didn’t say to the Sheriff, “I won’t let you kill Stefan.” She said, “I won’t let you kill THEM.” Likewise when they were sealed in with Kat, she didn’t ask Jeremy, “Is Stefan okay?” She asked, “Are THEY?”

This show is based on the idea of a love triangle. That’s not exactly arguable. So at some point – and we are getting closer to it all the time – Elena will love Damon. When that happens, whether or not Stefan should walk away will become an entirely different question and prospect than it is right now.

And to answer your question, yes, I do care what Elena wants. If she chooses not to be with Damon, I’ll be heartbroken for him because he loves her. But it is her choice. But as I think you can tell by now, I believe that a D/E relationship will benefit the both of them and it does not at all strike me as impossible that she should want to be with him at some point in the future.

If you LOVE Damon so much, then why would you want him with someone who is only going to hurt him?

We agree that Elena loves Stefan. He loves her too. This does not a healthy relationship automatically make. You can love someone and they can be the worst thing in the world for you. I’m not saying this is specifically Stefan and Elena’s case. Just that in life that scenario does exist.

Where I see the breakdown in your logic is that anyone – least of all Damon – would expect Elena to not give a crap about Stefan. She’s always going to care for him. He’ll always have a piece of her heart. Of course he will. Why you assume that this will automatically detract from her love for Damon or from any happiness they could find together baffles me.

Loving Stefan is one more thing that Damon and Elena have in common. I grant you that Stefan will be hurt should Elena choose Damon. But would it be any better for her to stay with Stefan if she is in love with Damon? I hardly think so. Elena will have to follow her heart. And wherever that leads her and precisely because they both love her and because as you said sibling love is also a very strong bond I believe that whichever brother she does not choose, will accept her decision and be happy for them. I’d like to think this would especially be the case if Elena were to choose Damon because Stefan of all the people on this earth knows how much real love has been lacking in his brother’s life.

I disagree with you entirely that Damon would always be as hurt as he was at the end of that scene in Rose with Elena. His pain there stems from the fact that as of right now, she doesn’t love him back. And second of all, under the circumstances, he could be dead in a few days, weeks or months, (werewolves, Originals anyone?) and she would never know how he felt.

If Elena returns his feelings, loves him as much as he loves her – and this is entirely possible to me despite her current or even future feelings for Stefan – then he will for the first time in his life know how it feels to love a woman and have her love him back and I think that would make him quite happy indeed.

In my experience, you can’t force people to want what YOU want for them. He chooses Elena. That’s who he loves and therefore that is who he wants to be with. Again, as I said, I believe Elena is entirely capable of loving him back and will do so at some point in the future and I also believe that his and Stefan’s relationship would ultimately survive such a development. At the end of the day, he’s made his choice. You can accept it or not, it’s entirely up to you.

You’re entitled to your opinion as we all are. The last point that I’d contest is that Delena fans are irrational fangirls. Give people more credit. If there are D/E shippers ranging in age from 15 to 64 and from different counties and cultural backgrounds, then it’s not because omigod Ian Somerhalder is so hot or Damon looks badass in a leather jacket. It’s because they’re drawn in to the individual characters of Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert and even more drawn in to how those characters interact and even more drawn into the idea that in each other, they might come to find a rare and extraordinary kind of love.

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